import 4.code.options;
import 4.code.about;

class Header{

public void title(){

String fullTitle = "/mlp/ - Pony";
}

public void menu();

public void board();

public void goToBottom();

public void refresh(a);

}
class Thread extends Board{
public void AnonymousinEquestria:Thread#1145(OP 8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4){

String fullTitle = "Anonymous in Equestria: Thread #1145";
int postNumber = "32506204";
String image = "1231037__artist+needed_explicit_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-brim_oc-colon-cook+anon_oc+only_cyoa_imminent+yeast+infection_insertion_nudity_vegemite_wat.jpg";
String date = "06/13/18(Wed)02:28:10";
String comment = "Last Thread >>32392966

IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY

>rope's super gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/

Add for Skype: sin.aie

>PiE corner
>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.
PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
PiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
Browser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
Browser Pony image and story archive (cloud): http://derpy.me/BrowserPonies"
;

}
public void comments(){
if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32506441 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)04:31:49")

">>32506204
Tripfags in Equestria"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32506743 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)07:44:58")

"How many of you substitute "Anon" for your own name in these stories? His name is rarely important, and he's already such a group self insert most of the time.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32506846 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)08:48:44")

">>32506743
Fucking never. I get it's written in second person but I always come up with a clear idea of what kind of person Anon is before I write if the story is longer than two posts."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507402 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)11:48:31")

">>32506846
This"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507487 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)12:16:36")

"I NEED SMUT GREENTEXT NOW!";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507770 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)13:56:22")

">>32507487
>benis in hoers bagina"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507818 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:15:56")

">>32506743
I personally use Anon as the default because it takes the issue of naming a character out of the story. Normal names like Todd, Andrew, David, are common, yet there are always people who dislike the use of a "real" name. Anon is so ingrained now, its just the go-to option."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507825 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:18:26")

">>32507487

>You weren't quite sure how it happened, but somewhere along your new life you picked up a fuckbuddy.
>Which wasn't odd in and of itself, with all that horse pussy on display it was bound to happen.
>The odd part was the horse you ended up with.
>"Hey Nonnapuss!"
>She was completely insufferable at times, and way too energetic at all times.
>But daaaayum was she an animal in the sack.
"What brings you here this early Panka, I thought the fun wasn't until tonight."
>"There's always time for fun, silly, but that's not why I'm here."
>Her expression was oddly serious, something must be going on.
>"Can we try something different tonight?"
>'Something different.'
>The phrase burrowed into your brain.
>You've already tried every combination of holes and positions either of you could think of.
>What unholy abomination has surfaced in the maddening expanse of her mind?
"Did you have something planned?"
>"Yup! Here, drink this."
>Her usual perky demeanor returns, and she's pulled a potion out from somewhere.
"...What is this gonna do?"
>"It's gonna get you ready for tonight, of course! Zecora says it should be safe for humans."
>She was up to something.
>This was the first time she's pulled your sex life into things, but she was up to something and knowing her she won't stop until she gets what she wants.
>You can only hope it won't be anything too horrible.
"...Fine, but this had better be worth it, you pink troublemaker."
>Snagging the bottle, you pop the cork and down it fast, trying to avoid tasting it.
>Zecora can accomplish many great things with her potions, but making them not taste like ass seemed beyond her power.
>The Ponkster watches intently until you swallow the mixture.
>Once it's down, she smiles big and zips away, coming back in long enough to give you a cheerful "See you tonight!"
>So now you had all day to ponder what new lewdness was in store for you."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507827 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:19:28")

">>32507825

>Aside from the asstacular aftertaste, the potion hasn't had any immediate effect that you've noticed.
>For all you know you're gonna end up growing a second dick or something.
>Penk hasn't shown any interest in adding any additional partners to the funtimes, but she'd probably love a good DP.
>Fingers, fists, and toys can only do so much compared to a proper double dicking.
>Or maybe you'll get a four foot prehensile penis.
>Anyone in town that might know what's in store for you is undoubtedly sworn to secrecy.
>Still, you had some shopping to do, and a visit to town would pass the time.
>Putting on some proper clothes and grabbing some bits, you venture out into the streets of Ponyville.
>All the usuals were out and about doing their usual things.
>You spend some time chatting with the flower trio, picking up the latest gossip.
>Nothing related to you or Panko, of course, but it was worth a try.
>Those three were the only ones remotely likely to spill any beans they knew about, so the rest of your trip was far more relaxed.
>A trip to Golden Oak for some fresh reading material, the market for some cooking supplies, and Sugarcube Corner to check on Pingie.
>Along with assorted chats with the ponies you're friends with.
>By the time you get back home, you've got just about enough time for your usual funtime preparations.
>A good hearty dump and piss to ensure those bodily functions don't get in the way of things, and a shower to clean up the day's sweat and grime to make way for the night's sweat and grime.
>You're lounging about in your bathrobe when Punks arrives.
>"Sorry I'm late Nanners, a big last minute order came in, and then the guy tried to leave without paying! Why would somepony want to steal fourty cakes?"
"Because they're terrible, obviously. So am I allowed to know what the something new is yet?"
>She grins that big stupid grin of hers as she answers."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507832 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:20:29")

">>32507827

>"Yupperoni! I'd been doing some Pinkie Thinking last night, and it occured to me that there WAS a hole we missed. Yours!"
>Is she--
>"So I went to Zecora's and asked if her Butt Fun potion was safe for humans, and it was! Probably. Did you notice anything bad from the potion?"
>She is.
"Aside from the taste, I didn't really notice anything. What's it supposed to do?"
>"Weeeell, it does just about everything you need to put the fun in butt fun. Cleans out your poo so you don't make a mess, lubes things up so it's smooth sailing, and makes things extra stretchy so you don't have to worry about bleeding out from a shattered shitter. Plus it leaves your tush smelling minty fresh! Didn't you ever wonder why it was never a hassle when you fucked my butt?"
"Honestly, with you ponies I just sorta figured all that was normal. Or you were just a dirty little buttslut."
>Panko giggles.
>"You always say the sweetest things to me Nona, that's why I'm your slut."
>She giggles again, louder this time.
>"But I suppose that tonight, YOU are MY slut."
"Hold up a minute, Pinkie."
>Your use of the super secret grownup time codeword that is her name instantly has her sitting still like a normal pony instead of bouncing around excitedly.
"Just because I drank some mystery potion you offered me this morning doesn't automatically mean I agreed to let you have fun with my butt. This is something we both have to decide on. I'm not sure how it goes with you ponies, but humans aren't generally big on male butt fun."
>"Hmm. Well I don't know about generally, but all the stallions I've had butt fun with turned out to be total buttsluts behind closed doors."
>Rrreally.
>You'd have to see if you can squeeze some names out of her sometimes, that is some prime gossip material.
"And how many is that?"
>She starts counting on her hooves, but gets confused after she runs out of hooves.
>"Uhh, more than four. So have you decided?""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507835 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:21:54")

">>32507832

>Serious time is wearing off, you can see her butt starting to wiggle around again.
>With a long sigh, you speak the words that will likely seal your fate.
"We can TRY, but if I don't like it, we're stopping."
>"Heheh, that's exactly what all the others said!"
>Well crap.
>Popo hops up at you, pushing you from your reclining position and laying you flat on the sofa.
>Mostly flat, anyway, pony sofas weren't quite long enough for all of you.
>At least the armrests were well padded, makes for a decent pillow.
>Your assaulter has meanwhile turned around and sat on your chest, giving you a full view of her goods.
>In true funtimes fashion, she was soaked and winking.
>She didn't sit close enough for you to reach with your face, so you start teasing with a finger.
>Tracing along her outer edges, giving her winker an occasional boop.
>Once you've hit peak boner, Pinka starts her own teasing.
>A kiss, a lick, a few shallow bobs.
>You start slipping a finger in, her bobs start going farther down the shaft.
>It was a game of foreplay chicken; see who could get the farthest along without it turning into one of the primary events.
>Not that there was really any way to tell who wins.
>Like most games, it was having fun that mattered.
>And from the speed of her winking, she was having plenty of fun.
>Speaking of fun...
>Getting your free hand ready, you give her three fingers to the hilt, then another two in her ponut once she goes balls deep on you.
>Her muffled squeak of surprise ripples along your length as she wriggles against the unannounced intrusion.
>She slides you back out of her mouth and turns to look at you, panting for breath.
>"Impatient for the main event, are we? Okie dokie!"
>Not waiting for an answer, she turns back to the task at hand.
>A long, slow lick starts at your tip and makes it all the way down your shaft, past the balls, heading to parts untouched."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507841 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:22:56")

">>32507835

>Crazy stretchy poniWOAH!
>You've never had that hole licked before, and man is it a hell of a sensation.
>Once her face makes it to her destination, Penk finally gets up from your chest and follows her stretched out neck, settling in where it belongs on a pony that doesn't ignore physics.
>By now your general butt area is covered in pony saliva, and you can feel her pushing against your entrance.
>You try to relax as best you can, but those aren't exactly muscles you think about using all the time.
>Still, it seems to help, and you can feel her tongue slowly start to wiggle its way i-- HOLY FUCK!
>Your whole body tenses up as several inches of tongue suddenly push into you.
>Picking your head up, you look down and find yourself staring into a pair of blue eyes looking at you from behind your erection.
>Her eyes stay locked on yours as she starts to swirl around inside you, finding all the surfaces to rub against.
>She was clearly an expert at the anal rodeo, seconds stretched into minutes and she still hasn't run out of new sensations to show you.
>At some point that cute little curl in the front of her mane started rubbing up and down your cock, tracing little smily faces with your precum, but you barely noticed compared to what was going on in your butt.
>Finally, after what felt like an hour, her tongue retracts back in and she gets up to look at you.
>You were a sweaty mess, barely able to move aside from your twitching dick.
>"Weeeeell? Did you like it?"
"Y-yes."
>She lunges forward and gives you a buttsaliva kiss that you are in no state to try and fight off.
>"Oh, I knew you'd like it Nonny, I just knew it! Time for the main event!"
>A strapon gets pulled out from behind your TV and rapidly buckled into place.
>Once it's secure, Punki clambers into position, the tip of her silicone horsecock nestled against your waiting entrance.
>"So does my little buttslut want a big cock up his butt?"
"P-please.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507845 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:23:57" && image=="it keeps happening.png")

">>32507841

>She applies a bit of pressure, but still doesn't penetrate.
>"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you."
"I want your big cock up my butt!"
>And you get what you want, your entrance stretching well farther than her tongue could manage as the toy inches its way in.
>The sheer fullness you felt was beyond amazing, but part of your mind managed to stay alert long enough to notice something bad.
>Pinkie had the look.
>THAT look.
>"I'm so glad you agreed to try swapping roles, Anon,"
>It was too late, you had no way to stop it.
>All you could do is helplessly watch your boner shrivel up and go limp as the pink pain in your ass finished her sentence.
>"I'd never have pegged you as a bottom!" "
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507939 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)14:56:19")

">32507845
Repost and I didn't like it then and I don't like it now."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32507991 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)15:15:47")

">>32507939
Pinkie's puns may get tiresome but there's no reason to be rude about it."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32508107 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)15:58:02")

">>32506743
>>32507818
It doesn't matter.
All humans become Anonymous when they get to Equestria.
They forget their real name.
Just like they forget family.
Spouses.
Children.
Life.

All replaced by an obsession with horse pussy."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32508114 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)15:59:25")

"I miss Miro and Betty spaghetti. What did happen to Rat?";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32508190 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)16:17:07")

">>32508107
>forget their real name
No their real name just retroactively becomes Anonymous. When multiple Anon are in the same area they instinctively retroactively change their names to Anon/Incognito/Unknown/Redacted on the basis of how important they are that day. No one notices because it changes retroactively so its always been that way to them. Until the next day when it always is another way!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32508314 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)16:39:40")

">>32508190
>Anon/Incognito/Unknown/Redacted
A group of Anons keep swapping names because ponies can't tell the difference."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32508544 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)17:41:02")

">>32507939
Congratulations"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32509508 && dateTime=="06/13/18(Wed)21:38:41")

">Read skettisparkle again
>forgot when you got mentioned in it
>Feelsnostalgicman"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32510409 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)01:34:07")

">>32508190
Your name is Redacted.
You clean outhouses for a living.
Pinkie calls you Smelly Nonny and you're not allowed in town."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32511135 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)05:57:34")

">>32509508
>BottoSpoghotto will never not be a fucking dumb faggot and return"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32511748 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)11:19:58")

">>32511135
Oh no"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32512520 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)16:04:26")

">>32508190
I think we can all agree that Unknown can go eat a bag of dicks."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32513374 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)18:48:31")

">>32512520
probably a skub lover too"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32513391 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)18:53:22")

">>32508314
>Pinkie is confused by how she always seems to miss their birthdays
>Twilight thinks something is up but can't prove it
>Applejack knows something is up but doesn't care
>Rarity has given up on taking measurements
>Fluttershy's animal friends insist that the humans smell different, but she's not sure if they're right
>Spike can tell the difference but he doesn't tell anyone because he thinks it's funny
>Rainbow Dash is the only one who truly knows what's going on because she spotted one of the switches from 500 feet up
>Starlight Glimmer exists

>>32513374
Oh my god, do not start with skub."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32513505 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)19:24:50")

">>32513391
>Oh my god, do not start with skub.
Too late. https://pastebin.com/798rZJbV"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32513816 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)20:59:30")

">>32513505
it was always too late"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32513877 && dateTime=="06/14/18(Thu)21:24:15")

">>32513816
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V6kPxEVB54"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32514622 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)00:50:43")

">>32513391
Poor ponies missing out on the possibility of a human gangbang."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32515039 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)04:18:38")

">>32508114
Miro anhero'd, Betty isnt into ponies anymore, and Rat keeps hiding and going under different names no longer pony."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32515807 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)10:58:45")

">>32508314
>>32513391
>"Anon would you like to get on the teleport pad to Canterlot first?"
>"I'm not Anon he's Anon"
>"Yeah Twilight he's Incognito, we've been through this"
>"Oh I'm sorry guys, I'm still getting used to the differences"
>"Honestly Twilight and you call yourself a princess"
>"I know I'm sorry Incog"
>"Hey Twilight, guess what?"
>"What?"
>"I was just kidding, I am Anon""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32516246 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)13:41:30")

">>32515807
What a twist"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32516351 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)14:29:08")

">>32515807
>And then Twilight brutally beats Anon with her marecock"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32516417 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)14:51:52")

">>32516351
That's fucking stupid."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32516420 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)14:53:23")

">>32516417
no u"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32516953 && dateTime=="06/15/18(Fri)18:01:37" && image=="T feels.gif")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32518286 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)00:46:58")

">>32507487
Man, when was the last time someone wrote smut here?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32518311 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)00:58:42" && image=="wiz.png")

">Abacus Beads is a young, dusty blue unicorn colt.
>And Abacus loves magic.
>So much so, that he's spending his summer day practicing spell casting while his fellow classmates are wasting their time playing around.
>Life was no game to Abacus, or 'Abby', as his loving mother so affectionately called him.
>Abacus didn't like the nickname, he thought it feminine and unbecoming of a future mysterious powerful wizard.
>The brutish earth ponies in his class could never understand why he kept to himself.
>And the dimwitted are often prone to bursts of idiotic violence.
>This is why Abacus avoided the other children when he wasn't attending school.
>Currently, he was practicing lifting and throwing objects near the edge of the Everfree forest.
>Perhaps some dark critter would crawl its way out so he could test his aim on it.
>Abacus wasn't afraid of animals, though monsters were another thing entirely.
>Dragons in particular frightened him. He thought it insane that a certain purple pony kept one in Ponyville, even if it was just a baby.
>Abacus never respected Twilight Sparkle, how could he? The Great and Powerful Trixie was much more awesome.
>And the next time he would get to attend one of her shows, he would step onto the stage.
>He would preform brilliant, breath taking magics and The Great and Powerful Trixie would delight in taking him under her wing as her successor!
>And the crowd would cheer until their throats burned and their eyes watered.
>Suddenly, a cracking of wood snapped Abacus back into his senses.
>Something was moving inside of the forest.
>It was something large.
>He checked his escape routes in case it was something he couldn't handle, then prepared to face the beast.
>More cracking. Rustling of leaves.
>Lumbering steps.
>Oh no. It was bigger than big.
>It was enormous."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32518313 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)00:59:47" && image=="Ou.jpg")

">>32518311
>A branch was moved. He could now see what had lurked to meet him from the depths of the Everfree.
>It was covered in thick, dark brown fur and it smelled of the wild.
>A bear. A huge, smelly, terrifying bear.
>And it was looking right at Abacus.
>Think fast, don't hesitate.
>Abacus pushed his horn forward and grabbed the largest rock he could possibly lift with his magic.
>The bear was observing him from the cover of the leaves, not seeming to realize it was being challenged.
>Abacus then sent the foal sized boulder flying directly at the bear's head.
>It hit!
>...
>The bear staggered back and then to the side, falling onto four legs.
>It shook its head, stunned. Its face was bruised from where the stone collided with hide and fur.
>Then it looked back at Abacus, seemingly realizing who had injured it.
>And it roared.
>The young unicorn's heart stopped.
>Or at least it felt like it, the bear's terrible, deep honking cry was bloodcurdling.
>He had never heard anything like it.
>Run. Run. Run.
>Every bone in his body was crying for him to move, but fear froze the colt still.
>!!!
>The hulking nightmare charged at him."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32518315 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)01:00:50" && image=="avada kedavra.jpg")

">>32518313
>Suddenly, a new cry came from the deeper in the forest.
>Abacus had thought he would never again hear anything that would rival that bear's fearsome, low growl.
>This new voice was something entirely different, however.
>It was sharp, high pitched and cold like black ice.
>The voice could have belonged to either a stallion or a mare, he couldn't tell.
>However, it invoked an immediate sense of impending doom in the listener.
>And this thin, icy voice echoed two mysterious words, which pierced the air like daggers of white fire.
>"Avada Kedavra!"
>There was a green flash of unnatural, pale light.
>Then the bear fell dead.
>In the middle of its charge, it slumped like smitten by the sun itself.
>And the silence was deafening.
>Abacus' knees failed him. He fell onto the grass under him, both from relief and shock.
>His eyes fixated on the direction the green flash had come from, he awaited.
>There was something even more dangerous in the woods.
>Something that killed giant bears effortlessly.
>His relief vanished as soon as that realization struck him.
>This was bad.
>And the young unicorn watched as a strange creature wrapped in a black cloak stepped into view.
>Cold, crimson eyes regarded the young unicorn.
>Then that terrible voice spoke again, sending shivers up Abacus' spine.
>"Your name, boy.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519049 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)06:42:48")

">>32518286
now
smut."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519156 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:25:20")

">>32519049
Later."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519167 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:31:24")

">>32507835
You could at least make an original shitpost, not stealing someone else’s work from forever ago."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519187 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:39:32")

">>32513505
Skub isn’t a powder. This is dumb. It’s a putty/lotion-like substance."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519191 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:42:15")

">>32518313
Fake. Brown bears are cowards."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519194 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:42:21")

">>32519167
>stealing
Nigga I'm the one who wrote it to begin with
>shitpost
This is just hurtful, he asked for smut and I provided smut"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519202 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:46:19" && image=="440155CE-714E-4CD6-B011-57158055EF97.jpg")

">>32519194
You provided a years-old fetish story tailored to a fetish that this general generally dislikes. It’s flagrantly shitposting. Just enjoy the attention that your parents failed to give you enough of while it lasts."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519204 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)07:48:34")

">>32519202
Pinkie puns are a storied tradition in this thread, you're welcome to come up with a smutty pun of your own to write."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519237 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)08:03:35")

">>32519204
I was obviously referring to the penetration of the male anus, not the pun."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519241 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)08:06:26" && image=="I met her in a club down in old soho where you drink champaign and it tastes just like coca cola.png")

">>32519237
Its not gay when your waifu does it."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519460 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)10:09:13")

">>32519241
I have some bad news for you..."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519563 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)11:14:24")

">>32519460
Explain to me how sex between a male and a female is supposed to be gay."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519594 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)11:23:10")

">>32519563
Looks like there's even more bad news for you."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519595 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)11:23:13")

">>32519187
...you're trying to start an argument about skub, aren't you?

Well played."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32519603 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)11:25:20")

">>32519460
>implying you wouldn't let Squiggletail ravage your anus with that long slender horn"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32520027 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)13:40:52")

">>32519603
Of course not.
That's a one way street and I have enough tickets already.
Last thing I need is to scar some guardspones mind when they suddenly burst into the house yelling about criminal scum."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32520784 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)16:44:04")

">>32519156
Fine"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32520840 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)17:00:39")

">>32520027
"No homo" sayith the Lord God as he put man's g-spot a few inches up his ass."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32521149 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)18:29:49")

">>32520840
You know, I was always buggered by that."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32521741 && dateTime=="06/16/18(Sat)21:13:36" && image=="Rarity_says_bend_over_darling.gif")

">>32520027
She'd just tell them "bend over" too. She looks like a soft little marshmallow but nobody fucks with her."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32522516 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)00:28:18")

">>32521741
and then it's an hoersland version episode of Cops where the feisty meth enthusiast chick yelling at them gets tazed to tears."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523194 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)05:09:06")

"Thread is slow. Who got prompts?";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523264 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)05:39:37")

">>32523194
Anon finds Twilight's masturbation dungeon."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523270 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)05:44:10")

">>32519595
Actually, while skub is a mysterious and hotly contested substance (which is why I will not state which side I am on), one of the few things we know of it is that it is a pink putty or lotion like substance."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523467 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)07:44:04" && image=="Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru.png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523504 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)08:00:29")

"Twilight introduces Rarity to skub, a.k.a. Griffonian Marching Powder, and the two of them abduct and rape Anon.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523511 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)08:05:39")

">>32523467
They never did finish that."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523538 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)08:22:57" && image=="stop_sign_says_stop.gif")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32523952 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)11:20:11" && image=="Fucking Dashlos.png")

">>32523511
I guess you could say it's already dead."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32524002 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)11:38:42")

">>32523504
Two completely unrelated events."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32524600 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)14:28:23")

">>32524002
orly"
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32525267 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)16:29:44")

"Marks For Effort

>"Here you go Anon."
>The tubby little dragon dumps another pile of paper on your desk.
>"Thanks Spike."
>You're not thankful at all, being Head of... of... you don't even know what this is.
>What the fuck are these papers?
>You just wanted to be a teacher at the school. Instead you're the Groundskeeper, the Health Inspector, the Whatever-this-is and half a dozen other things.
>You're becoming that guy with 17 part time jobs. Everything but teacher.
>The door to your office slams open, knocking over your janitorial mop and your groundskeeper rake.
>"ANON! I need three diplomas!"
>"Twilight? What? Diplomas?"
>"Yes, three diplomas and I need them by this afternoon!"
>"We give out diplomas?"
>It's too late for questions though, she's already run off.
>Guess you can add Diploma Maker to your list of job titles.

The Mean 6

>You've been called.
>Now you're here.
>You hate being called like this, it's like being called by your boss during dinner cause he wants you to work Saturday.
>The Tree glows brighter for a moment.
>"What have I told you about thought reading?"
>The Tree glows again briefly.
>"Yeah I know it's not like that but I was in the middle of dinner and it's rude to read my mind!"
>The Tree of Harmony remains silent this time. You're no expert on tree body language but you'd guess it'd be pouting right now if it could.
>There are six brightly coloured logs lying on the floor of the cave, don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out this is why you were called here.
>"So what's this about?"
>The Tree glows for several seconds.
>"Fine. I'll just dump them in the vault at Canterlot Castle."
>The Tree glows briefly.
>"No one must know? You know that means I have to break into the vault?"
>The Tree glows insistently.
>"Last time I did that- Ok, ok. You're damn pushy for a tree that's supposed to be harmony incarnate."

https://pastebin.com/Vct2bPj3"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32525336 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)16:41:34" && image=="419FC616-E6B3-4722-93A1-0D479964ED2A.jpg")

">>32523504
>powder
Does this look like powder?

>>32523538
I’m literally just reporting the facts, not telling you which side to take."
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32525527 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)17:16:03")

">Dear Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,

>As you know, the Spring Festival happened this month in Ponyville the main event of which is the Spring Fling Dance.
>Anon always attends but refrains from dancing, saying he isn't a good dancer. But this year we managed to convince him to show us some human dances.
>It did not begin well. His first dance involved swinging his knees in a weird way that made it seem like his legs were twisting. The effect was disturbing, likely enhanced by his biped nature.
>We asked him to show us another dance before anypony threw up. His next dance involved a lot of crotch thrusting and alternating between pointing at his crotch and the sky.
>Again we had to ask him to stop, there were fillys and foals present. It was lewd.
>His next attempt went much better, a dance he called the Macaroni. Several ponies attempted to join in with this one with varying degrees of success.
>I have yet to establish what relationship it has to pasta.
>With things going well, we asked Anon to show us another human dance.
>To the amazement of everypony, instead of dancing, Anon grabbed his crotch, screeched and begin moving backward but impossibly he was making all the physical movements of someone who should be walking forwards.
>Princess Luna promptly accused him of sorcery and violating the laws of reality, at which point he was tackled by Lunar Guard and dragged away.
>Since nopony was hurt, I would ask that Anon be released back to Ponyville on parole. I'm sure it was an accident on his part.

>Your Faithful Student,
>Princess Twilight Sparkle

>P.S. Please release him quickly, I am very keen to ask him about Cuban Pete and the Rumba Beat."
;


if(/r/ && title=="" && postNumber==32525786 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)18:00:28" && image=="Skeleton_lol.gif")

">>32525527
>I am very keen to ask him about Cuban Pete and the Rumba Beat."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32526379 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)20:36:41" && image=="1527055788942.gif")

">>32525336
If it was powder it would most likely be on the cover."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32526462 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)20:54:12" && image=="rumbabeat.jpg")

">>32525527
>I am very keen to ask him about Cuban Pete and the Rumba Beat
what could possibly go wrong?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32526560 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)21:12:04")

">>32526379
I have re-read this comment several times, and I’m still not sure what you’re trying to say. It sounds like you’re agreeing with me, but the incredibly smug face of twiggles implies otherwise."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32527157 && dateTime=="06/17/18(Sun)23:56:13")

">>32525527
Haven't seen you in a while, glad I do now."
;



if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32527938 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)04:36:43")

">>32525527
I love your stuff buddy."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32527955 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)04:49:03")

">>32527921
Dude, Twilight just teleport your newspaper or whatever into the house."
;


if(Horsefucker/Writefag !!CL+QZfLfgvu && title=="" && postNumber==32528368 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)08:50:42" && image=="Love and tolerance.jpg")

"https://pastebin.com/eySUhJPm

Here is a crappy attempt at a story, I have only begun.

Feel free to tell me how crappy/decent it is."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32528917 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)12:33:16")

">>32526462
Nice hat, 'Traser."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32529188 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)14:07:45")

">>32528368
what is this, a picture for breezies?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32529451 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)15:36:33" && image=="unf.png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32529707 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)16:46:34")

">>32523194
>Anon marches into the center of Ponyville Square and holds aloft a small ceramic pot
"Ponies, your attention please! I present for your consideration...skub."

Take it from there."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32529940 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)17:36:55")

">>32524002
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_4bp8bBNVw"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32530623 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)20:37:19" && image=="skub.gif")

"This article about a controlled substance is a skub. You can help 4chan by arguing about it.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32531274 && dateTime=="06/18/18(Mon)23:48:48")

">>32529707
>discord immediately understands and pulls a chair and popcorn out of hammerspace waving both a pro-skub and anti-skub flag in one hand
some drawfag get on it"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32532546 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)06:35:30")

">>32523952
>I guess you could say it's already dead.
Much like this thread. Sad, there's a lot of greens I want to see updated."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32532689 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)07:45:02")

"Workplace horse pussy.";


if(Horsefucker/Writefag !!CL+QZfLfgvu && title=="" && postNumber==32532699 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)07:50:42" && image=="Processing...jpg")

">>32529188
>what is this, a picture for breezies?
That is irrelevant to the information I asked for.
And no the picture is irrelevant to anything going on in this thread."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32532961 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)10:02:12" && image=="DCB3CD67-DD19-458F-A690-C8895C52F9DC.jpg")

">>32532699
>he says, posting another image for breezies"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32532997 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)10:13:29" && image=="1529264726800.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533359 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)11:39:46")

">>32532546
Ok."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533428 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)12:07:51")

">>32532689
>Be Anon.
>You work for a software development company making shovelware for Steam.
>Hours are long.
>They give you deadlines that are impossible to meet unless you work 14 hour days.
>Luckily they have a solution to the moral problem caused by the slaveshop conditions.
>They got a pony.
>One of those talking colorful ones from that white temporal rift in Wisconsin.
>It's job is to go around the office and perform sexual favors on all employees.
>Even Grace the fat chick at the end of the row.
>Asshole Steve tried to feed the pony cottage cheese after an extended session with her.
>He got teeth on his blowie.
>You have the desk next to the closet where they let her sleep.
>You get to hear her cry during her hygiene breaks.
>Shit gets you rock hard man.

Also, GO SKUB!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533545 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)12:42:22")

">>32533428
> /spg/
Go and stay go
>>32522284"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533663 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)13:18:21")

">>32533545
You're not the boss of me."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533747 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)13:47:55")

">>32533545
>Be Anon.
>You work in an office in Horseland.
>You accidently drove your car through the rift in Wisconsin.
>They make you go around and service ponies while they take breaks.
>It's actually not bad.
>You get medical and dental along with 20 vacation days a year.
>Plus you get to use that animal husbandry degree you got from Devry.
>They thought it was funny to give you sausage for lunch after you went down on that stallion in the marketing department.
>Jokes on them, sausage is awesome.


Also, Anti-SKUB!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32533757 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)13:51:03")

">>32533747
Now that's AiE.
Also hot and happy."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32534897 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)19:19:26")

">>32533663
I thought you liked that tho"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32535075 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)20:07:29")

">>32534897
You don't have enough hooves for it to be arousing."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32535192 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)20:42:38")

">>32535075
Are you surew?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32535253 && dateTime=="06/19/18(Tue)21:02:43")

">be Anonymous
>go onna Internets
>go to 4chins
>furtively look over your shoulder as you go to /mlp/
>what's this?
>all the ponies are wearing tracksuits and squatting on street corners with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths and holding bottles of vodka
>oh
>you just realized
>it's Slav Pony General"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32535985 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)00:15:26")

">>32535253
Blyat!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32536694 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)05:10:50" && image=="slav pones.jpg")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32537065 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)09:14:49")

">>32533428
>>32533747
>Be pony
>Your office's Anon left his keys out
>You grab them and run to his car before he can notice
>A few mailboxes and a fruit stand later, you've figured out how to drive
>Take car to the weird magic portal to Whipped Cream con Salsa, the fabled land of snacks which shouldn't taste good but still do
>A human stops you after you get there
>"Welcome to Wisconsin, home of cheese and maybe some other things. Please present identification."
>Good thing you swiped Anon's wallet too
>You pass that to the human and let him flip through it
>He pulls out some green paper and a little plastic card
>"Well, ponies don't know how to drive so I'm just going to assume everything is in order. Have a nice day."
>He gives you back the card and wallet
>Your infiltration of human society is going flawlessly"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32537068 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)09:15:53")

">>32537065
Also, skub."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32537534 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)12:34:57")

">be anon
>shit who else you gonna be, Pinkie?
>yeah, being Pinkie wouldn't be bad
>be Pinkie
>you're heading over to Fluttershy's place
>she said something about finding a weird monkey running out of the everfree forest, and she said IT COULD TALK
>and so you arrive, in all your pink and energetic glory
>you knock on the door
>no response
>that's ok, you just vibrate fast enough to phase through the door
>that's pretty radical, Pinkie
"thanks narrator!"
>aren't you the narrator?
"eh."
>anyway, where was i? ah yes.
>on the other side of the room you hear some noise in the kitchen
>are they baking something?
>you hop over to the kitchen only to freeze at the sight
>Fluttershy is lying on the floor
>the monkey is crouching over Fluttershy
>there's a pool of something red on the floor
>he's holding an empty pot
>"hey Fluttershy, get up." said the monkey
>"oh no, I made you spill the tomato sauce" said your dear friend
"tomato sauce?"
>"yeah, we're making Pizza"
"what's "peetzer"?"
>"oh, it's bread with tomato sauce and cheese on it" said yellowquiet
>"yeah and it'd be fuckin' amazing if the sauce wasn't on the floor" said the ape
>you mean monkey, right?
"right."
"well, since i don't know how to make pizza I'll just go sit on the couch"
>traversing the dangerous road to the couch, you make it unharmed
>*poof*
>what was that?
"oh that's just Discord. Hi Discord!"
>"hi Pinkie, who were you talking to?"
"the narrator!"
>"aren't you the narrator?"
"I said the same thing too!"
>"pizza's ready!" said the dumb chimp
>monkey
>"monkey, wait no, he's a human" said Discord
"hue-man?"
>fluttershy and the monkey walk in with a big pizza
"wow, that's a big pizza"
>"for you" said Discord
and then Twilight crashed the pizza party with no survivors
the end"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32537541 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)12:37:15")

">>32537534
That started very good, and then it become very shit.
5/10, passing grade I guess."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32537558 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)12:42:00")

">>32537541
yeah i was just freewheeling it, lost track, drove off the cliff, and crashed.
I just can't set up any story goals or whatever"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32538121 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)15:07:11")

">>32528368
Better than nothing"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32538520 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)16:27:26")

">>32537065
46% of Americans are ponies in disguise."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32538712 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)17:06:42")

"I really want to see zebra's village and somewhere Asian mare or something.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32538937 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)17:40:38" && image=="lolcano.gif")

">>32537534
>dat sudden shift at the end"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32538941 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)17:41:44")

">>32537558
That's a lot of loyalty for a hired Anon."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32540459 && dateTime=="06/20/18(Wed)22:24:40" && image=="Panko.png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32541387 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)02:49:05")

">>32540459
Pinkie? More like
shit"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32541461 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)03:09:14")

">>32533428
No sluts allowed. Each pone is dedicated to a single husbando."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32542260 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)09:50:55")

">>32541387
Oh fuck"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32542857 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)13:02:06")

">>32541461
Pones are sluts by nature. It's better to harness their lewdness for profit and amusement."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32543691 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)16:45:16")

">>32542857
But it's just boops tho"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32544746 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)20:11:36")

">>32543691
Are you saying you wouldn't pay for the opportunity to boop a pony?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32544941 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)21:13:03")

">>32544746
Money for boops? That's prostibooption and it's illegal in 43 states."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32545078 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)21:56:31")

">>32544746
I'd pay about tree fiddy to boopTrixi"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32545152 && dateTime=="06/21/18(Thu)22:20:13")

">>32506204
I’m looking for two specific stories. One where anon goes camping with derpy, Fluttershy and retarded berry and one about how anon and berry are looking for a place to live, and berry punch is super smart when drunk"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32545688 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)01:10:40")

">>32545078
Really? She's only worth a quarter at best.
Subpar snooter for booping.
Now Rarity, that's a proper snooter."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32546123 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:16:04")

">>32545688
You'd deny snooter boops to cute pones? For shame, Anon."
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546180 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:49:37")

"Familia 18

>Rain patters against the windows as you chop vegetables and slide them into an earthen bowl.
“There we go…a nice healthy dinner…”
>You set the table and smile at a job well done.
“Kids! Supper!”
>The only answer you get is the rain on your roof, probably dulling your voice so they couldn’t hear.
>In a house this old you weren’t surprised; your joints weren’t the only things that popped and echoed at this ripe old age. Normally you could hear just about everything in your tiny cottage, but not on nights like this, when mother nature was putting on a show outside louder than you could be.
“Jeeze louise…making a man work like this.”
>You take off your apron and head down the hall.
“Sombra! Chrys! Dinner time, come get it!”
>You open Chrysalis’ door and find your daughter’s room suspiciously empty. You hadn’t seen any doppelgangers of yourself around and the rain was too heavy to go out, so she had to be somewhere…
>Faint voices come through the walls from down the hall, towards Sombra’s room.
>You amble down that way and turn the knob the special way only you knew that got around the lock.
>”-on’t be an IDIOT, Sombra!” was the first thing you heard.
>Great, this should be fun.
>Sombra has a bag on his bed and is stuffing his few belongings into it; several styles of rock and sediment going up to rudimentary crystalline formations, all his books he still read, and some hearty cloaks.
>You know what this is when they both look at you and your first instinct is to diffuse.
“Are we going on a family vacation?”
>Sombra’s grimace deepens, Chrysalis only looks concerned.
>Every so often, Sombra would decide that he’d had enough of his time here and would decide to leave, as he had done when he was little, but you’d always turned him around. The instances became more frequent as he grew through his adolescence and it seems like tonight was another chosen night."
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546181 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:50:44")

">>32546180
“What goes on here?” you ask.
>”Sombra-!” Chrysalis starts
>She is quickly interrupted by your difficult son, no longer a boy but not yet a man, screaming “I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!” over her.
>Silence reigns for a few heartbeats as Sombra collects himself and turns to you.
>”I’m leaving.” He says
“Again?”
>He snarls “I’m ACTUALLY leaving this time.”
“You know, I’ve heard this story before…”
>You lean on the wall and cross your arms. You needed to handle Sombra a certain way; capitulating to him wouldn’t work and shouting at him was too far. He had to be a bit on edge yet still convinced he could salvage the situation for it to go how you needed it to go.
“Would you like to retell it? Or can we just skip straight to the end and enjoy our meal before it gets cold?”
>Sombra lowers his head to steam as he always does
>”What did you make?” Chrysalis asks
“Fried Gysahl greens.”
<Chrysalis sticks her tongue out and gags “I don’t think anyone can enjoy eating that, poppy…”
>Sombra collects himself. “Move, Anonymous. Before I make you.”
>Now Chrysalis lowers her head, sparks zipping from her horn as her temper flares over the threat to you, but you disarm her with a glance and step aside.
“There’s no need for anything like that, Sombra. You were raised better.”
>Sombra snorts out his nostrils and brushes past you. Chrysalis then runs up to your side.
>”Poppy, are you just going to let him go!?” she asks. For all her early bluster at wanting to be the sole apple of your eye, she was clearly at least somewhat concerned for the housemate she’d spent so long with.
>You reach down and pet the side of her head.
“Breathe easy, little bug.”"
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546182 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:51:45")

">>32546181
>You catch Sombra before he gets to the door.
“You know-“
>He pauses and looks over his shoulder at you.
“You’re already out here, and the food’s right over there. Sit down, let’s talk about this.”
>His eyes narrow “I do that and before I know it, I’m back in my room unpacking.”
>That wasn’t good, he was catching wise.
>Sombra faces the door, ”I have a destiny to fulfill, Anonymous. A grand and glorious destiny promised to me ages ago. I don’t know how you did it, but I haven’t heard the Umbra since I came here.”
>Red had seen to that, she said.
>”What I was promised is out there, and I will play house with you for not one moment longer.”
“You’re not ready.”
>As soon as the words come tumbling out of your mouth, you regret saying them, but you couldn’t pull them back, so you had to make due."
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546185 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:53:03")

">>32546182
>You take a step towards Sombra.
“You think you’re ready, everyone around your age does. You all think that way, but you’re not. The world has things worse than you’ve prepared for in it and it won’t hesitate to swallow you up.”
>Sombra turns his head to you, offence radiating from his eyes on wisps of magic “You doubt-“
“Yes, I do.” You interrupt. “I doubt that you can live the life you want in the outside world because I don’t think you’re ready to do it. I know that’s the last thing a father should say to a child, but…”
>You glance over your own shoulder out the kitchen window, spotting a hint of the moon behind the clouds.
“Call it a hunch.”
>Sombra breaks his gaze from yours and kicks the door open, the rain has picked up outside into a steady torrential sheet washing over the graceful countryside. The bugs and birds have all taken shelter from the storm and Sombra simply looks out over it.
>”You’re wrong.” He says. “I have prepared every day of my life to hold a kingdom of my own, the outside world does not frighten me.”
>He floats his hood up over his head as he walks out the door. “And neither does leaving you!”
>You could have told him of all the dangers in the woods, how his time here was to try and weed out that isolation and anger he suffered from to make sure there was never another Luna, you were sure there were things you could have said to make him stay, but all you could do as a worried father was rush out the door after him."
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546188 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:54:05")

">>32546185
>It takes barely a moment outside to get soaked to your bones tailing after Sombra, but he powers through it determined to get away from you.
“Sombra, you need to stop!”
>”It’s over, Anonymous!”
>Sombra pushes up the hill that sits in front of your house against the raging storm. “This little experiment of yours, whatever it is, is over for me!”
“It’s not-!”
>”Go back to your cottage! Back you’re your children and the honeyed words you feed them to keep them docile!”
“I do that so you stay SAFE, Sombra!”
>He pauses and looks back to you, his green eye standing out against the darkness. “Safe? SAFE!?”
>He stomps his hoof, bringing up jagged black rocks around the two of you from the depths of the earth. “What use is safety if we never lay eyes on the world beyond!? What are you protecting us from if you never allow us to reach!?”
“Yourselves!” you shout, holding your clothes to you tightly.
“You know there were children before you here! One of them fell to the same darkness I see in YOU and there are those still suffering for it! I know you want to prove yourself, but you don’t have to! Not to me!”
>”I do not-!”
“I know how hard you try to succeed but that’s not all there is to living! And if I must keep you here for longer just to make sure you don’t drag yourself and the ones who love you through Tartarus for YOUR hubris, then I’ll do it in a heartbeat!”
>A long silence passes between the two of you.
“I wasn’t smart enough back then to prevent a tragedy from befalling my family, so I’m trying again now. You’re staying, son. You’re not ready to go yet. Now stop this and come home.”
>Sombra snarls at you and stomps his hoof again, breaking one of the crystals behind him and walking through the gap. “Goodbye, Anonymous.”
>You lower your head, that was his last chance.
“I. Said. STOP.”"
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546191 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:55:06")

">>32546188
>Everything stops.
>You never raise your voice in your house, as talking to children was always better than screaming at them. Shouting just made kids block you out or ignore you, and it was all over once you scared them.
>So, over the years, you’d practiced and cultivated a way of speaking that let you get your point across without raising your voice.
>Sombra stands motionless, hoof off the ground and mouth agape.
“Is that the rain…or are you sweating?”
>”What…did you-“
“I told you to stop.”
>You trudge up through the wet grass to your wayward son, the rain went away so it was easier to move at least.
“And like a good child, you listened. I’m proud of you.”
>Sombra turns his gaze to you with a look you remember from when he was first getting to that age.
>For a pony like Sombra, who spends so much time reading and trying to understand the world around him, even if it was in his words “to know what he would rule”, little shook him.
>Save for things he just plain couldn’t understand, and those thinks shook him to his very core.
>Dark pinprick pupils shake as they look into your eyes. “Th-the rain…how did you-And-“
“Hush, now.”
>Sombra stops talking, letting you put your hand to the side of his face.
“To be clear, I always dislike talking like this. Most of the time I don’t have to but…you’re really stubborn!”"
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546196 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)04:59:17")

">>32546191
>You sigh.
“I told you, you’re not ready. You’re not ready to be out alone in the world and the world isn’t ready to deal with you alone in it, that’s part of why you’re still here. Now turn and march.”
>Sombra turns around in the dead silence of the night, clouds parting and the moon glistening off the shattered remains of his crystals before he crunches them underhoof.
“I know the world calls to you, son, and I can’t stop that call forever. That’s why I have to try extra hard with you to make sure that your stubbornness doesn’t win out before I HAVE to let you go.”
>Sombra walks back to the house, head low and teeth grinding as he tries to figure out exactly what’s happening to him, passing Chrysalis who smugly looks at him, already knowing.
>Father’s word was law.
“You’ll leave, Sombra, one day. When that day comes, I’ll feely let you go…”
>You walk past him and sit at the dinner table, looking him over in your living room.
“But you are not EXCUSED yet. So, please take a seat and let’s enjoy our dinner and tomorrow will be one day closer to the day you’re independent.”
>Sombra pulls a chair up to the table and sits across from you, seeming to see you for the first time while you think you truly see him for the first time."
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32546198 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)05:00:52")

">>32546196
Pastebin's updated.
https://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For 8th: https://pastebin.com/LGVr4xHQ

I write, I talk, I probably annoy you lot by taking too long and apologize. Wash, rinse, repeat. Hopefully at least someone is reading this crap.

About 3 more chapters to go in this story."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32546602 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)09:31:26")

">>32546198
Neat"
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32547563 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)15:49:27")

">>32546602
Thanks"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32548095 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)19:16:02" && image=="large[1].png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32548411 && dateTime=="06/22/18(Fri)21:07:53" && image=="1333325231138.jpg")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32549494 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)03:06:11")

">>32548095
Does the pizza come with sausage?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32549506 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)03:15:02")

">Ever since Shining Armor became prince and Anon got promoted to captain of the royal guards, they have never stopped being at each other's throats due to them both having really different ideas about what it means to be a captain or a prince";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32550150 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)10:12:44")

">>32549506
It ends in cornholing because Anon has a thing for married stallions.
His fetish was hard to deal with on Earth."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32550169 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)10:20:21")

">>32549494
Only with pineapple"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32550362 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)11:44:32")

">>32550150
So Shining dumps Cadence and marries Anon instead so Anon becomes the new princess of the Crystal Empire?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32551001 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)15:26:54")

">>32550362
No.
Cadence was a princess before Shiny Surfbro married her"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32551037 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)15:36:51")

">>32551001
No.
Cadence was only a princess by title before someone handed the Crystal Empire to her. No votes or anything; you just have to defeat something evil, and then you are declared the ruler of an entire kingdom. Just like that."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32551041 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)15:38:37")

">>32550362
If that was ever written I would laugh my ass off."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32551269 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)16:40:30")

">>32551037
Either way she's the ruler."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552077 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)19:59:48")

">>32551269
The ruler of a kingdom that came back from the fucking ether only a few years ago."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552096 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)20:04:00")

">>32552077
It isn't her fault they were all huffing ether for years until they finally decided to come back."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552295 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)20:52:27")

">>32552096
There is nothing in Equestria more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a crystal pone in the depths of an ether binge."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552322 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)20:59:11" && image=="word-o-Faust.png")

">>32552295
I blame Pinkie Pie for introducing them to the vile stuff in the first place."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552493 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)21:45:56" && image=="FEELS BEES MAN.jpg")

">>32552322
>tfw you will never see Ponks ether fueled reaction to entering 70's Circus Circus"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552639 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:16:06" && image=="189752__safe_artist-colon-madmax_artist-colon-pacce_pinkie+pie_rainbow+dash_car_colored_fear+and+loathing+in+las+vegas_parody_smoking_sunglasses.png")

">>32552493
“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.
Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.”

>tfw no ponies to go on a drug binge with"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552693 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:27:23" && image=="1607797__safe_artist-colon-rodrigues404_nightmare+moon_alicorn_armor_bust_crying_female_filly_floppy+ears_frown_glare_helmet_horn_looking+down_mare_nig.png")

">Tak-tek-tik-tok-tuuuuuuuk.
>You scratch your forehead a little as you think of what to type on your brand new type writer. It's no computer what with pony technology being uniquely behind in some aspects but on par with your old world in some way. But it does the trick.
>"Whatcha doing?" Asks Moonie in the trademark sing-song voice that any bored child does when they decide to inflict themselves upon a nearby busy adult.
"Testing to see if this or the old one would be better to take to work."
>"Work?" Moonie asks in disgusted confusion.
"Work," you nod solemnly.
>"You're always working."
"Look, you always bring this up and you know I don''t just work."
>"Seems like it," prods Moonie, hoping to irk you a little more.
"Mhm."
>Moonie clicks her tongue in frustration and them thinks for a bit. Most likely to think on way to bother you some more but you pay it no attention for the time being.
>Tak-tek-tik-tok-tuuuuuuuk
>"When you think about it, you are always busy."
>This gives you a bit of pause. You lean back in your chair to reflect a little.
"Yeah, usually... Why?"
>Moonie shrugs in that way that suggests she does actually know why and this air of ignorance is just for show. A show to irk you just slightly. And it does. Just slightly.
>"Well, you work a lot. And if you're not working then you're doing housework, reading, looking after me, or sometimes helping out in town. Never ever just sitting down and relaxing."
"Not true. When we camped in the backyard, we sat for a bit and stargazer. That was relaxing."
>"Yeah," she replies drawing out it like she isn't convinced, "but that was ages ago, and we did that because I wanted to."
"So?"
>"When was the last time you relaxed because you wanted to?""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32552697 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:27:56" && image=="1248672__artist+needed_safe_nightmare+moon_alicorn_door_filly_nightmare+woon_pony_solo_younger.png")

">>32552693
>You tilt your head to the side and squint while you think. Mentally, the time rewinds back days then weeks, months then years. Nothing comes to mind. Okay, so maybe you've taken a breather here and there. Like a minute or two to compose yourself, catch your breath, or to think on what to do next. But do they count?
>"It's got to be more than a few minutes. Say, twenty at least," adds Moonie, with eyes that looks as if she were reading your mind.
"Then..."
>"Never?"
"Not that I can think of. I mean, I could and just don't remember it."
>"I should knight you as Sir Anonymous the Restless."
"Very funny."
>She giggles to herself and pokes a tongue out to jeer a little more.
"Reading counts as relaxing. And sometimes spending time with you is."
>"Aren't you sweet?"
>You lob the chair pillow at her. She dodges by leaping up onto the couch where she lies down like some kind of lion proudly reigning over the land.
>"But really," Moonie continues. This time her voice is more serious, "Don't you ever want to take it easy for a while?"
"I do."
>"I mean, just do nothing for a bit. Let time pass you by or something."
You shrug, "Not really, no. I like... Doing something, even if it's little. Like reading, hanging with someone, or even watching someone do something. I get restless otherwise."
>"Hmm," Moonie ponders, "Fair enough."
>There's a moment of silence for some time. Part of you was waiting for Moonie to say something more so when you realise that was it, you speak up.
"Why?"
>You notice that she was resting her head on her forelegs with her eyes closed. At the sound of your voice, Moonie opens one eye.
>"Why what?""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32552700 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:28:29" && image=="1500868__safe_artist-colon-befishproductions_nightmare+moon_alicorn_angry_chibi_female_filly_high+res_nightmare+woon_pony_rawr_signature_simple+backgro.png")

">>32552697
"Why were you pointing out how busy I always am?"
>She shrugs then closes her eyes once again. But you're not willing to let her out of it, at least not easily. Moonie's motives are, by nature, easy to discern.
"Do you miss spending time with me?" You tease.
>"Very funny," she replies without opening her eyes.
>Silence falls once again as you find yourself unable to think of how to approach the topic, or even what exactly you're trying to get out of it. A few times a sentence bubbles to the surface but disappears from your mind before you can say it. Unable to think of what to say, you spin back to your type writer. In the corner of your eye you notice Moonie open a single eye once again.
"I get antsy doing nothing. It doesn't matter what it is, I feel better when something is happening."
>"I get that," flatly answers the napping filly.
"But I like your company either way."
>"Yeah?"
"Yeah. It's kind of like spending time together, even if we never say a word."
>"Hm," grunts Moonie as she smiles while adjusting her position to a more comfier one for a nap.
>Once she wakes a little while later, she grabs her toys and plays with them on the floor nearby which you can't resist smiling to yourself at. Both of you content in doing your own separate thing, but together, in good company.

https://pastebin.com/kdsEEAUt @ Line 1137"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552760 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:44:33" && image=="How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this mare.jpg")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32552782 && dateTime=="06/23/18(Sat)22:49:36")

if(BigBurd !!ZPu9KzNepfX && title=="" && postNumber==32553280 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)01:02:10" && image=="1447300298656.jpg")

">>32552322
>doing whippets out of Pinkie's ponut"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32553452 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)02:01:13")

">>32552700
is moonie for sexual?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32553460 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)02:02:22")

">>32553452
Anything is for sexual if you're hard enough."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32553942 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)05:34:24" && image=="Hey Kid wanna ss.png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32553998 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)05:59:56")

">>32553452
Think Moonie has ever thought of Anon in that way? She is an adult in the body of a filly after all."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32554555 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)11:02:12")

">>32553280
I imagine dental procedures in Ponyville must get pretty weird.

>be Anonymous
>be in Equestria
>and you have a toothache
>visit cute li'l unicorn dentist Colgate
>she pokes around in your mouth with assorted tools
>you don't like the way she says "hmm"
>she calls Nurse Redheart into the dental office
>they have a quiet conversation
>"We're sorry, Anonymous, but that tooth is beyond saving and we're going to have to pull it."
>you wince
>"But don't worry! We can do this painlessly."
>Pinkie Pie apparently materialized behind you while she was talking, because you didn't see her enter the room and you're facing the only door
>"Hey Nonny!"
>Nurse Redheart matter-of-factly opens a drawer and gets out an assortment of black rubber hoses and similar things, terminating in what appears to be a black rubber mask made to fit over a pony's snout
>she pokes the mask with a hoof, then looks at you, then smiles. "We'll make it work. Don't worry."
>then begins connecting the hoses to Ponka's butt
"Check please!""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32554590 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)11:12:07")

">>32553942
Hell naw I ain't going to sunday school"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32554595 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)11:13:52")

">>32553942
>"Hey kid, wanna steam ship?"
"Only if I get to be the Captain."
>"Sure, if you'll motorboat me."
"You don't even have boobies."
>"How do you know about boobies anyway, kid?"
"I told you before. I'm thirty years old."
>"You don't look a day over eleven."
"I think I need an adult."
>"I am an adult."
"I was expecting someone taller."
>"Don't be mean.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32555183 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)14:42:15")

">>32554555
>tfw no nitrous oxide orgy in the dental surgery theater with Colgate and Nurse Redheart

Was I born just to suffer?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32555812 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)16:56:32" && image=="osqdo[1].jpg")

if(BigBurd !!ZPu9KzNepfX && title=="" && postNumber==32556088 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)17:58:32" && image=="1430174850914.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32556167 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:10:19")

">>32555812
This"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556300 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:31:57")

"Hello. Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. My lack of discipline has finally ended myself and I put some decent work into writing last week. Regardless, I have decided to reformat how I produce updates to try and speed up content production. I will try to post whatever I have once per week. It might be 1000 words, it might be 10000 words. I genuinely don't know if this will work or not. Regardless, here is the first section of Mad Science: Chapter 8.

>Time proceeds at a constant rate of one second per second.
>This, of course, is not true.
>The amount of time for two different observers varies based on their reference frame, related to the geometry of spacetime around them and their velocity relative to the speed of light.
>Fortunately, both Twilight and yourself were within the same gravitational effects and neither of you were approaching luminal speeds.
>Thus, time proceeds at a constant rate of one second per second, and two weeks of your life passed by according to this rate.
>This time was consumed with a mutual blossoming of knowledge, though not perhaps as you would have expected.
>You taught Twilight much as you had been taught: lectures, problems, questions, answers, solutions.
>She had yet to be stumped by anything you presented, boiling through a semester’s worth of physics in just that brief period.
>Her own “lessons” (and you were uncertain if you could even call them that) were of a form you were not familiar with.
>You were uncertain as to how, for example, helping Fluttershy with her animals helped you learn more about friendship, particularly as you had no idea how to help the sick field mouse in front of you.
After staring at the creature for a few moments, you eventually proclaim, “I am unfortunately unable to give a diagnosis, if that is what you expected me do. I am a physicist, not a veterinarian.”"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556303 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:32:31")

">>32556300

>Twilight giggles.
>“That’s not the point, silly. The only way to learn about friendship is -”
“To spend time with other people, yes, you’ve told me this.”
>You shove your hands into your pockets and rock once on your heels, a look of vague boredom and disinterest impossible not to smear on your face like sticky cherry filling at a pie-eating contest.
“You said this wouldn’t take long,” you say.
>“Fluttershy said she just had to grab a few herbs from her garden.”
“Yes, but we also have much more pressing things to do than care for one sick mouse. There are millions more of them.”
>“It’s not about the sick mouse. It’s about -”
“Spending time with Fluttershy. Who is currently not here, and has not asked us to help her.”
>At that moment, the backdoor to Fluttershy’s cottage gently swung open, and, softly humming to herself, the pegasus calmly plodded in.
>Twilight raises her eyebrows and smirks at you.
>You fold your arms over each other.
>“Is there anything we can do to help?” Twilight asks.
>“Oh, no, no,” Fluttershy replies, grabbing a mortar and pestle from a shelf. “It’s all under control. I just need to make a poultice, and then we can have our tea. I’m sorry I left you guys in the lurch here, but I just couldn’t leave this poor mouse unattended to, could I?”
>“Of course not,” Twilight says, looking to you. “We totally understand.”
>You nod politely.
>Fluttershy returns to the wounded rodent with a few micro-sized strips of cloth and a tiny wooden bowl of greenish fluid.
>She soaks the bandages in the poultice and applies them to the mouse’s stomach.
>The creature groans slightly then appears to sigh in relief.
>“Now you get some good rest,” Fluttershy says. “You should feel better in the morning.”
>The mouse squeaks (possibly by means of a positive reply, but you could never possibly interpret it), crawls over to a neatly-made mouse-sized bed and settles beneath the covers."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556307 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:33:06")

">>32556303

>Fluttershy mumbles something about a mouse flu spreading through the fields, but it barely registers in your auditory cortex as you try and process the Stuart Little scene that just played out before you.
“Very well,” you mutter to yourself, perhaps a bit too loudly, as Twilight gives you an odd look.
>You shake your head in an attempt to recenter yourself.
“My apologies,” you say. “I was lost in thought.”
>“Oh, no need to worry,” Fluttershy says. “We all get caught up in daydreams.”
“Of course. Now, we were going to have tea, yes?”
“Oh, yes, of course!” Fluttershy says, her voice rising to just below normal volume. “Let me get the kettle.”
>You take a seat on one of the nearby couches, drumming your fingers on the armrest.
>Twilight follows suit in a plush armchair, minus the finger drumming considering the lack of said digits.
>“Is something bothering you?” she asks quietly.
>You shake your head.
“I’m fine.”
>Twilight raises an eyebrow.
>Fluttershy returns with a porcelain tea set and a plate of cookies.
>“I hope this is enough,” she says. “If not there’s more.”
>“It’ll be plenty,” Twilight says. “Thank you so much for having us!”
>You pour yourself a steaming mug of green tea.
>Twilight nudges you with her gaze.
“Yes. Thank you.”
>“It’s no trouble,” Fluttershy says. “I always need some company. I’m sorry about having to deal with Mr. Mouse there, but I just couldn’t leave him out in the field looking so ill.”
“Not a problem. If there was anything I could have done, I would have, but biological sciences were never for me. Living creatures are very messy,” you say. “Unpredictable. Hard to quantify and control. ”
>“Oh, yes,” Fluttershy says. “Especially if you can’t communicate with them well. Animals can be tricky, and it’s taken me a long time to learn how to recognize their wants and needs.”
“Yes,” you say, taking a sip of tea to break the subject.
>It’s still a bit too hot, and you burn your tongue."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556312 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:33:43")

">>32556307

>Twilight again flits her eyes from you to Fluttershy.
“The tea is… good,” you say with a wince.
>“I’m glad to hear it,” Fluttershy says. “But I usually let it cool a little more.”
“Do you now?” you reply, trying to keep sarcasm out of your voice and failing.
>“To be perfectly honest, I’m always a little frightened when I drink something hot,” she says, either ignorant or oblivious of your tone of voice. “I’m always worried about scorching myself by accident.”
“Uh, sure.”
>Undisturbed silence passes for a brief moment, as you have absolutely nothing to follow that with.
>“So, um, Fluttershy, did you hear about….” Twilight begins, and instantly you are able to stop being concerned with having to carry the conversation and retreat back into your own thoughts.
>However, even there you are not able to find solace, just stalled ideas and tormented theories.
>Two weeks had gone by and little progress had been made on your vital project.
>Acquiescing to Twilight’s friendship lessons did little to soothe your displeasure, and perhaps deepened it by robbing you of time you needed to work.
>On the other hand, that tiny kernel of you - a mere percentage of a percentage, a gasping voice in the crowded vauxhall - was telling you for the first time that, perhaps, listening to her advice was a good idea.
>You elected to flip that voice a nickel for it’s trouble and ignore it for now, staring out the window onto the verdant pastures, and the giant brown bear wandering into Fluttershy’s garden, which you register and then also ignore.
>“Is Mr. Bear here for his back scratch already?” Fluttershy says, apparently having made the same observation. “I guess you guys had better go. I’m sorry we couldn’t get more time, but I imagine you are also busy too, yes?”
>“Not too busy,” Twilight says before you can get a word in. “I’m sure we can do this again another time.”
>“Of course,” Fluttershy says with a small smile."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32556313 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:33:45")

">>32556300
Cool."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556319 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:34:29")

">>32556312

“Agreed,” you say, turning to leave. “But, unfortunately, for now we must be going. Thank you for having us.”
>“See you later, Fluttershy,” Twilight says, following you through the door.
>Your footsteps crunch on the gravel path back towards town.
>“How do you think that went?” Twilight asks you after a few minutes.
“Just begin your lecture,” you say. “I’m not in the mood for self-analysis.”
>“Alright, then let’s start from the last couple lessons I’ve tried to teach you, because I’m starting to figure out a pattern. When we went to Sugarcube Corner to help Pinkie bake muffins, why didn’t you help?”
“Because I do not know how to bake and demurred to her expertise.”
>“And when Applejack invited us to pick apples, why didn’t you help?”
“I was actually devising a device to automate her process, considering I do not have the strength to kick an entire tree’s worth of apples down.”
>“And when Fluttershy -”
“Yes, I understand. I should have offered to help with the sick mouse, but what help would I have been? I most likely would have made the situation worse.”
>“But that’s not the point! All of these things were for you to just enjoy doing something with someone. Sure, maybe you wouldn’t have baked the best muffins or picked the most apples or cured rodent flu forever, but the point was just for you to try an activity someone else likes.”
“And what happens when things go irrevocably wrong?”
>“First, that’s not going to happen, and second, then you apologize and your friends forgive you because they’re your friends!”
“I appreciate your optimism, but in my limited experience when you kill something in your friend’s house, they tend not to be happy about that.”
>“Okay, we would cross that bridge if we came to it. My friends are more... forgiving than you would think.”
>Twilight looks down at the ground for a second."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556326 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:35:12")

">>32556319

“We also need to talk about your poor conversation skills today, but something did seem to genuinely be on your mind, so I’ll drop it for now. The main point is -”
>Twilight crosses from your side and turns so she’s in front of you.
>“You’re not trying hard enough.”
>You blink.
“What about the successful friendship lessons though? Reading with Rainbow Dash and-”
>“Those were all things you like to do regardless! If you want to have friends, you need to learn about their interests through either doing those things or through talking to them.”
>You lean against a tree near the path and cross your arms, thinking for a moment.
>“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?” Twilight asks, pacing towards you.
“I have a solution.”
>“A solution? I’ve given you the solution, you just need to -”
“Yes, and that is almost precisely the problem. Do you think I give you easy problems in our lessons together?”
>She stops.
>“No, but -”
“You need to challenge me.”
>“That’s - I understand what you mean, but if I do that, you could seriously hurt…. No, it’s out of the question.”
“Consider it a test then.”
>“And what if you fail?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Plus, you have said your friends are more forgiving than most.”
>Twilight paces for a moment, back and forth, then gives you a look you’ve never seen before.
>Her eyes pour vindictive schadenfreude like a scalding shower on a frigid December morning, and for a brief moment you wonder if you’ve made an unfortunate mistake.
>“Very well,” she finally says. “I will give you a challenge. We’re going to solve one of my friendship problems.”

“Why are you here?”
>You again awaken in the void of your mind, vexed by a familiar figure with a chimeric form.
>“I had a nightmare,” Discord says, shrinking down to a more cherubic form with eyes the size of watery yellow dinner plates. “Can I sleep with you?”
>You remain stone-faced as the chaotic being returns to normal size and slumps his shoulders."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556330 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:35:43")

">>32556326

>“Ugh, you’re such a bore,” he says. “Can’t you just have a little fun?”
“Not when you continue to intrude in my subconscious. Get out.”
>“I don’t think I will.”
>Complete silence - not simply from lack of speech, but lack of any sound at all, as if the two of were in vacuum - passes as you stare at the demon infecting your restful sleep.
>Discord makes a variety of silly faces at you, pulling on his eyelids, yanking on his ears, and puffing out his cheeks in different configurations, none of which make him any more handsome than a chaise lounge made of tire-tracked possum fur, which he, coincidentally, also turns into.
>It is fortunate that you cannot smell in dreams.
>“So, how are those friendship lessons going?” the chaise lounge asks, its cushions flapping like meaty lips and spattering blood onto the non-existent black floor.
“That’s not your concern.”
>“It is absolutely my concern. How are you ever going to complete our agreement if you spend so much time on these… inane wastes of time?”
“We never made an agreement.”
>Discord returns to his usual form and frowns.
>“You’re eventually going to leave this universe, and then all this effort that you’ve made into making friends with Ms. Sparkle will be completely worthless,” Discord says. “Your philosophy has proven successful up to this point, so why put in so much effort to change it?”
“It’s an experiment.”
>“Oh, an experiment? And where are you going to publish the results of this experiment?”
“Not that type.”
>“Then what’s the point?”
“Not your concern.”
>Discord narrows his eyes and smirks.
>“It sounds like you don’t even know. I mean, I guess I could just root around in here to find out, but you never know what might happen. I might cross a few wires.”
>You don’t respond, and Discord’s smug visage quickly vanishes."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556332 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:36:15")

">>32556330

>“It just so happens I have some experience with friendship lessons,” he says. “It’s why I’m not trapped in a stone statue in Canterlot. Twilight gave me a chance, and I proved that I was trustworthy through a number of good deeds.”
>The chimera paces in front of you.
>“Twilight and the rest of her friends think I’m reformed. And maybe I am. But maybe I’m not so reformed as I’d like to be. Maybe I’d like to spread sweet, sweet chaos across the entire multiverse. Maybe I’d like the entire fabric of reality to come crashing down like a burning theater, so that I can rebuild it in my glorious image and then tear it down a second time.”
>He refocusses his gaze on your flat expression.
>“No reaction to that, even? I’ve just given you my entire character motivation and -”
“I don’t care.”
>Discord stomps closer to you, so close you can count every individual greasy brown hair on his horse face.
>“What did I tell you about interrupting me?”
“I don’t care.”
>He snorts.
>“Well, fine. Maybe I’ll go tell Twilight how rude you’re being to one of her friends.”
>The chaos being turns to leave.
“She won’t believe you. Or, rather, she will, but she will also listen to my side of the story as well.”
>Groaning, he says, “Of course. You are correct.”
Turning your back to Discord, you say, “Of course, now we both have something she wouldn’t like to hear. I’m fairly certain that if she found out that you were invading the privacy of my mind, and that you were only pretending to be reformed…. Well, let us just say Twilight is familiar with my lack of skill with social interactions, but if what you say is true, that would be a far more interesting revelation.”
>You turn around with a slight smirk.
>Discord quivers slightly and rubs his claw against his lion’s paw once.
>“I should go,” he says.
“You should go.”
>With a small pop, he disappears."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556348 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:39:02" && image=="That's ice.png")

">>32556332

And that is where we must halt for now. I appreciate your patience, and hopefully the next piece will be out shortly before the release of Winds of Winter (a joke I believe I've made before, but it was probably a year ago so I'll make it again). Cheers!

>>32556313
See picture."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32556422 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)18:50:22")

">>32556348
Oh, yes, and I forgot to make a Pastebin, my apologies.

https://pastebin.com/ZTq4Duus"
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32556514 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)19:06:43" && image=="it's just le show ecks dee.jpg")

">>32556422
lol"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32556539 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)19:11:46" && image=="So this is what I get for working samurai overtime.png")

if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32556606 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)19:25:40" && image=="1528244506343.gif")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32557350 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)23:28:35" && image=="hey coolguy.jpg")

if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32557417 && dateTime=="06/24/18(Sun)23:58:07")

">>32557350
me irl"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32557918 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)04:03:34" && image=="darkiehooves.png")

"Hey guys. I've watched the threads evolve over the years, and I've seen authors do actual prose as well as greentext. What's the preferred method for this thread?

I used to post here way back in the early days, and I've been wanting to revisit the nostalgia of staying up late at night to write silly stories."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32557921 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)04:06:51")

">>32557918
Greentext is preferred, although at this point I don't think anyone cares. Do what you feel will best present your story."
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32557962 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)04:33:11")

">>32557918
>>32557921
What he said. Most people are probably used to greentext, but no one's going to bite your head off for prose."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32557981 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)04:41:24")

">>32557962
Well, at this point, someone might for no other reason than to be ironically spiteful, but I don't mind prose."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32557996 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)04:49:44")

">>32557921
>>32557962
>>32557981
That's cool. I normally write in prose these days, but I kind of miss the greentext format and would like to revisit it for silly fun.

I suppose looking at this thread should have given me my answer before I even asked. But I recall seeing this discussion several years ago when I would sporadically check in."
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32558014 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)05:00:17")

">>32557981
Fuck those people, they're assholes."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32558373 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:28:55")

"You think they finally worked Fallanon to death?";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32558412 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:46:43")

">>32556422
Ice man!!!!"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558416 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:47:33")

"Hey guys! Dunno if anyone even remembers me, it's been months since I posted the beginning of a story here with the working title Farmer Anon.

I renamed it to Apple Hospitality and have been very slowly adding to it until the other day when I for some reason was suddenly able to write almost 6000 words for it. I just finished one editing pass over that last burst of writing, so I figured I'd finally post an update.

Even if you happen to remember my old story, it's been heavily edited since then as my ability improved, so you should probably at least skim through what I already posted, up to line 481.

Sorry for the gigantic update all at once.

https://pastebin.com/fFDLGj9H"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558419 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:48:36")

">>32558416
>You tried stopping by Twilight's castle the next morning only to learn from Starlight Glimmer that she's out of town and won't be back for several days, so you're on your own for now.
>You could probably talk to another of AJ's friends, but you didn't really know any of them yet, and of course after telling AJ she doesn't need to tell you, you can't ask her about it now.
>Fortunately, the next few days were uneventful.
>You hardly even saw Applejack and were mostly left to work on your next experiment in the barn.
>The next harvest coming up is barley, so at first you thought of maybe trying to build a harvester, but figured that was a little too ambitious for now.
>Instead, you'll just improve their scythe.
>The current design is simply held in the jaw and swung similar to a hand-held sickle back home.
>You've been working on one that loops over a pony's neck and hooks around their shoulders, which they can swing around with a handle clamped in their muzzle.
>The main handle can have its length adjusted by squeezing a grip to release the lock and sliding the handle up or down to suit larger or smaller ponies.
>The movement required to swing it should be similar to the large double-handed scythes back home and ought to be much more effective.
>You tried to get Big Mac in to test it, but by the time you finished your prototype, Applejack had apparently finished whatever she's been up to the past couple days and leaped at the idea.
>Thus, you find yourself alone in the barn with Applejack like many times before.
>Of course, now you're all nervous around her.
>Lost in your thoughts, you startle at Applejack's voice, "Anon? You alright, partner?"
"Oh, uh yeah! Let's try it out."
>She eyes the oddly shaped length of wood, rope, and blade, "How's this thing work?"
>You slip the loop over your head and grab the handle at approximately the distance your mouth would be if you were a pony.
"Stand back."
1/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558423 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:49:38")

">>32558419
>Using your whole body to throw the large scythe around, you swing it back then forward in a quick cut over a huge arc, easily three times the size of the old scythe.
>Applejack's eyes go wide, "Whoa nelly, Anon, that looks great! C'mon, lemme try."
>You lift the scythe off your head and hold it up for her to step into.
>You really try not to touch her as you help her position her head within the loop, but the close proximity requires a few bumps.
>Applejack seems distracted and doesn't react.
>In a moment, the scythe is in place and the length adjusted to fit her.
>She grips the mouthpiece and swings the scythe left and right several times, hardly even leaning into the effort.
>"Good gravy, it's so easy to swing! Why I could cut the whole field in a matter o' hours with this puppy."
>She wiggles out from the scythe, it drops to the floor, and suddenly she's standing upright in front of you, her front legs resting on your shoulders, smiling broadly.
>"I know it's yer job and all, but... I just can't tell you how much I appreciate this!" She pulls you into a rough hug.
>You awkwardly pat her shoulder and she pulls back, still standing and resting on your shoulders.
>Try as you might, you can't help but glance down at her very exposed body.
>Applejack's tenses, realizes what she's doing, then her ears fold back, she blushes fiercely and steps back, dropping to all fours again.
>"Sorry, Anon. I know... I shouldn't do anything like that." She closes her eyes and shudders, "Really... shouldn't."
>She stands there panting for a few seconds before looking at you sharply.
>"I uh, I gotta go talk to Granny!"
>With that, she throws the barn door open and gallops full tilt toward the farm house.
>You move to the open door and watch her go.
>In the field, Big Mac raises his head, looking worried.
>His powerful voice carries far, "AJ!? WHAT'S WRONG?"
>She shakes her head as she runs, "NOTHIN!" then she vanishes into the house.
2/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558427 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:50:39")

">>32558423
>Big Mac canters up to you.
>"What--"
"She hugged me. Fuck man, she just jumped up and hugged me out of the blue, then she got all flustered and galloped away."
>No way in hell you're telling Big Mac what you saw when you glanced down.
>He shakes his head and says, "Must be early. Stay here."
>You stare after him glumly as he trots over to the farm house.
>After what feels like ages, Big Mac trots back in through the barn door.
>"She took the medicine. She'll be fine tomorrow. You're done for today. Good work on the scythe; despite all this, she won't shush 'bout how amazing it is. G'night, Anon."
>He immediately turns and trots away, leaving you to digest your thoughts.
>After a few minutes, you slowly walk down the path off the farm.
...
>Halfway to the gate, Apple Bloom's little voice calls out from her treehouse.
>"Anon! Hey, where ya goin'?"
"Back home, I'm done for the day."
>"So soon? Ya ain't staying for dinner?"
"No... something's come up with Applejack, Big Mac called it a day."
>She whinnies, "Call... called it a day!?"
>Apple Bloom gallops over and skids to a stop before you and you squat to approach her eye level, something you've learned she appreciates.
>"Is she alright!?"
"Yeah, think so. Big Mac didn't seem worried. Said she's on her medicine now and I should go home."
>She relaxes and sits down before you "Ohhh the cycle must be early! Aw that's nothin', she'll just be grumpy sometimes and real friendly other times."
>She looks down thoughtfully, "I hope she don't worry 'bout it too much. This is her first heat, y'know."
"Wait, her first--"
>"Hey, since you're free now, how 'bout you come hang out with us?"
>You pause, then ruffle her mane, trying to seem more relaxed than you feel.
"Sorry Bloom, I gotta go do something."
>Her ears droop and she looks up at you with those eyes so cute it's unfair.
3/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558430 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:51:46")

">>32558427
"Ah come on, don't be like that. I'll hang out another day, I promise."
>She gives a little sigh but says, "Oh alright. I won't forget you promised, though!"
...
>After taking a couple hours to relax and get a hold of your racing thoughts, you head to Twilight's castle.
>As soon as you open the huge doors, you are teleported to her castle library.
>Twilight greets you warmly as you stumble, hand to your head, "Anon! Hey, how are you? How is the new job coming? I haven't seen you in over a week!"
>You give her a lopsided smile as you try to regain your senses.
"Ugh... can't you warn me before teleporting me? ...It's been going well, thanks Twi. You'd enjoy coming out and seeing what I've been doing."
>"Oh really?"
"Yeah... since I'm not nearly strong enough for earth pony work, I've been redesigning their tools and machines instead. I've already made the water pusher a whole lot better to use, and just today I finished a new and improved scythe to harvest the barley."
>"That's great, Anon! I'm so glad you're finally settling in."
>"But, uh... I wanted to ask you about Applejack."
>She looks to her side and, following her gaze, you realize Applejack is standing just a few feet to your left.
>...It's easy to miss your surroundings when teleporting.
"Oh... hey. How are you feeling?"
>Applejack sighs and lays down, "I guess I shoulda just told you, huh?"
"Told me what?"
>"Now don't be like that, I know full well Big Mac told ya what's going on."
>You grimace.
"Well, he told me a bit. I didn't want to push you after you got so flustered, but I was worried something might be wrong."
>"That's sweet of you, sugarcube... Twilight, can ya explain? I don't... really want to talk 'bout it."
>Twilight nods and looks back to you, "What do you already know?"
"More or less... nothing."
>She beams, "Okay! Pony estrus cycle 101, here we go."
4/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558432 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:52:47")

">>32558430
>Applejack stands suddenly, "Okay yeah I'm gonna go, I ain't gonna listen to ya tell Anon about this."
>Twilight pops in front of her as she starts to walk, "But Applejack, you should hear this too."
>AJ rolls her eyes, "C'mon Twilight, I may not be as educated as you, but y'all know as well as I that mares are taught 'bout the cycle since they're fillies. Just teach Anon so he knows what to expect. He's still gotta work after all."
>She grimaces, "'Sides, I ain't gonna sit here and listen to you explain how my marebits work to a stal-- uh, man. That's just weird."
>Twilight sighs, "Oh alright."
>AJ trots out of the room and as Twilight turns back to you, you ask.
"So wait, why do I even need to know this again?"
>Trotting back to her chalkboard, she says, "Well, this is Applejack's first cycle."
"Apple Bloom mentioned that... I thought AJ was older?"
>She shakes her head, "She's several moons younger than Big Mac."
"Alrighty then... still doesn't explain why I need to know."
>One of her ears flick, "Well for one, you're probably stuck here for good, so you may as well learn about ponies in general... but I think more importantly, you should learn so you can help Applejack through this."
"Uh... help her?"
>"Well yeah! This is a tough time for a young mare, and she'll need emotional support from all the friends she can."
>Her tail swishes and she gently paws at the floor a bit. "Obviously the girls and I will help as much as we can, but we have work of our own to do, so we can only be there occasionally, but you'll be right there on the farm with her for most of the day."
>She points a hoof at you and grins, "And I know you two have only been friends a short while, but I hear you're getting along great! You'll be the perfect support!"
>You rub your eyes, trying not to think about the implications.
"...and why can't her family do this?"
5/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558435 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:53:50")

">>32558432
>She rolls her eyes, "Well I'm sure they will, but come on, Anon. Granny sleeps through most of the day and her other family members are a filly who's too young to even really understand what's happening, and a STALLION, who obviously won't be much help."
"And I suppose a MAN is more help?"
>She suddenly gives you a hard stare, "Anon, are you looking for an excuse not to do this or just being dense?"
>You open your mouth but only stammer, taken aback by her sudden bluntness.
>She just stares at you, waiting for a response.
>You pause to gather your thoughts, then sigh.
"A bit of both, I guess. I still don't understand why you think I'm such a good choice for her support, but I'm also not exactly thrilled about the idea anyways."
>Her gaze softens, "Anon, if you really don't want to do this, no one's going to make you, but I would like an explanation why."
>You rub the back of your neck.
"It's just... it makes me uncomfortable is all."
>"What's so uncomfortable about it?"
"What's uncomfortable about being around a girl--er, mare that's in heat?"
>She gives you an odd look, "Anon, you're not a stallion, you're a whole different species. Surely you aren't worried about what I think you're worried about."
>You shrug sheepishly.
"She's... been acting pretty friendly--"
>"AJ is one of the most friendly ponies I know."
"No it's... uh, I mean, like little gestures here and there, sly comments muttered under her breath, being... y'know... friendly. REAL friendly."
>Twilight thinks on that for a second, then turns to you, looking skeptical, "Uh... really? Are you sure?"
>You sigh and slump slightly.
"Well-- no, of course not, not really. Not like I'm real familiar on the intricate nuances of pony body language."
>Twilight steps closer to you, "Look, Anon... I know you're nervous, but I don't think you need to worry about anything like that. At least... not yet."
6/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558438 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:55:07")

">>32558435
>Her horn glows and gently lifts your head to look back at her, "Even if you're right and maybe Applejack really has a crush on you, she's way too cautious to act on something like that less than a week after you two met."
"But her heat..."
>"Is almost entirely controlled by the herbal medicine we take for it. We're not animals, Anon. It's not like mares go into sex-crazed madness and hop on any stallion they can find!"
>She blushes and giggles, "I mean, just imagine how messed up pony society would be if we did!"
>You chuckle despite how awkward you feel.
"And without that herbal medicine?"
>Her blush deepens, "Well, it's still not that bad, but it can get pretty... distracting."
>She shakes her head and takes a step back, "But anyways, we're way off topic."
"Are we?"
>She giggles, "Okay, well maybe not... but we ARE way off of my checklist!"
>You groan as a huge scroll floats over from behind her, "Pony estrus cycle 101!"

...

>The next day on the farm is... weird.
>You can tell Applejack is trying very hard to be normal.
>But that's just the thing... trying hard kinda defeats the purpose.
>You're watching her use your new scythe on the barley, taking notes on possible problems or improvements.
>She finishes a row and releases the handle in her mouth, "Boy howdy, Anon! I'm mighty pleased you're improving our farm tools. I tell ya, this is takin' less'n half as long as usual."
>As she walks up to you, you look behind at the freshly cut barley on the ground.
"How do you collect it afterwards?"
>"With another big ol' rolling machine I'm sure you'll make twice as good."
>She laughs at your startled look, "Not right now, o'course! I know, takes time. Took ya a couple weeks to fix up that water machine."
>You look up at the sky and rub your chin thoughtfully.
>After a few seconds, Applejack says, "You got another idea?"
"More like I remember a video I saw back on earth..."
7/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558445 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:56:10")

">>32558438
>You look down at her.
"Think you could pull a cart and swing that scythe at the same time?"
>"Well sure, why?"
"I remember seeing a scythe that had a little tray or bag or something that caught what it was cutting. If I can figure out something like that, you could cut some barley, then just use the scythe to toss if over your shoulder and into the cart."
>She beams at you and gives you a friendly buck on the shoulder, "Ah just knew you had a good idea! Ya always get this look like..."
>She stands up on her hind legs and raises her hoof to her muzzle, obviously trying to imitate your thinking face, forgetting the scythe still hooked around her shoulders.
>It swings around awkwardly, the blade aimed directly at your leg.
>You lurch backwards with a yelp and Applejack tries to bat the scythe away with a foreleg.
>She manages to redirect it, the blade missing you by inches, but the scythe's momentum throws her off balance and she crashes heavily to her back.
>She screams in pain and as your imagination fills your mind with ugly images of the blade sinking deep into her body, you cry out in fear.
"Applejack!"
>She neighs and flails wildly, overwhelmed by panic and pain.
>You rush forward, dodging her flailing hooves as best you can.
>...and are intensely relieved to see the blade flat on the ground.
>The handle had however somehow hooked her fetlock and twisted it terribly, slamming it into the ground when she fell.
>You hurriedly lift the heavy scythe off her leg and slip the whole contraption over her head, tossing it away.
>As soon as the weight was lifted off her leg, she pulls her forelegs to her chest and lays on her back, whimping, eyes shut tight.
>You kneel beside her and gently touch the side of her head, speaking softly.
"Hey, Applejack, shh, it's alright, you're okay."
>She looks up at you for a moment, then closes her eyes again and presses her cheek into your palm.
8/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558449 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:57:21")

">>32558445
>You stay like that for a minute, gently stroking her muzzle with your thumb as her breathing slows.
>Finally, she opens her eyes and you slowly move your hand to her injured hoof.
>She whimpers a bit but doesn't resist as you carefully take her hoof in one hand, pressing gently on her fetlock with the other.
>She gasps in pain and you tsk.
"Oh man... I'm no pony doctor but I'd say that's one hell of a sprain, might even be broken."
>Still lying on her back, her head falls back to the ground and she groans loudly, "Oh... what they hay are we gonna do now? I got way too many chores for this!"
>You point at the sharp blade of the scythe.
"Hey, it coulda been a whole lot worse."
>She lifts her head to follow your gesture, then nickers agreement.
>You sigh.
"I'll go get Big Mac."
>"No," she says quickly, "No... if he didn't hear my scream and come running already, he's too far away to bother getting. I just need to get to the farmhouse. We ain't far anyhow."
>You scoot back a bit as she rolls toward you onto her side and tries to stand on her good forehoof.
>As she stands, you continue holding her injured foreleg, supporting her at the knee.
>She snorts and wiggles her injured leg free and leans on it carefully, only to immediately cry out and pull her foreleg up close to her chest.
>You grab it again.
"Easy now, c'mon, let's get to the farmhouse."
>"Ponyfeathers..." she mutters, "ya ain't gotta baby me like this."
"Oh hush, I ain't babying you at all. You're hurt and probably can't walk alone at all. Now shut up and move."
>You pull her forward by her knee and she reluctantly takes a step forward, muttering, "...be hay to pay if you tell anypony..."
>You tap her ear with a finger and it flicks at you.
"Quit your moping and walk."
>You straighten up as she starts to walk.
9/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558450 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:58:29")

">>32558449
>Turns out, Applejack is the perfect height for you to stand fully upright and hold her foreleg at the knee with your arm just hanging straight.
>After a few paces, you look down at Applejack, intending to ask how she's feeling.
>Instead, you notice how you two look.
>You're walking normally, she's walking... mostly normally on three legs, her foreleg is in your hand, her head is turned slightly away, and her ears are back like she's embarrassed.
"Uh..."
>Her closest ear swivels toward you.
"Walking like this looks pretty uh..."
>You trail off, but from the way her ears flatten, you guess she got your point.
>Without looking up at you, she mutters, "Let's just go."
>You couldn't see her blush before, but now it's spread all the way up to her ears.
>Trying to spare your new friend some of her dignity, you distract her with a question.
"So, if I'm right and you won't be able to work for bit while this heals... is there anything I can do to help around the farm?"
>Her ears perk as she thinks, "Well... not much, honestly. Everything comin' up is hard pony work: pullin' plows, buckin' trees, movin' carts around... Y'all can help Apple Bloom harvest the carrots but I was always gonna have ya do that, this don't change nothin'."
>She sighs heavily, "I... I guess you'll mostly be helpin' me recover. Granny, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom'll all be too busy pickin' up my slack to help me much."
>You both continue walking in silence until you reach the farmhouse.
>Granny Smith sees you enter and winks at Applejack, "Wayyyyll now, ah thought y'all mighta hit it off, but if ya ain't gone an' caught him in near half the time ah thought!"
>You jerk your hand open and she pulls her hoof to her chest.
>Your ears start burning.
"Wha- but, no, it's..."
>Applejack sighs, "Gosh darnit, no, Granny! I told ya we ain't nothin' like that. I just went and hurt myself, Anon was helping me back here."
10/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558452 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)09:59:33")

">>32558450
>Granny winks again, "Y'ain't never been one to take help like that from nopony else!"
>Applejack groans and starts to reply but Granny cuts her off and steps closer, "Hush and lemme see that hoof there."
>Applejack tentatively extends her hoof and Granny supports it gently without pressing on the joint, muttering as she twists her head to look at it from all angles.
>"Can ya move it? Twist yer fetlock around much as ya can without it hurtin'."
>Applejack winces in pain as her hoof barely wiggles.
>Granny steps back and nods, "Alright, I'll go find Big Mac an' have him fetch a medical pony."
>She turns to you, "Anon dearie, if'n ya don't mind, can ya help Applejack up the stairs an' into bed?"
>Applejack snorts, "Ah don't need help into bed!"
>Granny winks, "Okay, maybe not, but ya sure ain't gettin' up them stairs on yer lonesome."
>Applejack grumbles but lifts her hoof for you to hold again.
>As Granny walks out the front door, you support Applejack with each step as she lifts her good forehoof.
>Halfway up, AJ lets out a little whinny.
>"Dangit, ah hate bein' babied like this and I ain't got a darn choice until I heal."
>You chuckle and tug her hoof to get her to take another step.
"Ah quit whining, you'll be fine."
>She gives you an indignant neigh and bumps your hip with the knee of the leg you're holding.
>"I sure as hay could get up these stairs without help."
"Probably, but it'd be difficult and risky. If you slipped and landed on your bad hoof you could hurt it even worse. No point taking such a risk when I'm here to help you."
>She doesn't have a response to that and you continue to her room in silence.
>Her room is mostly empty, with ropes coiled on the wall and a small reading niche where a cushion is sitting on the floor. Her bed is just to the right of the door near the window, a cute little end table between it and the wall.
11/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558455 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:00:38")

">>32558452
>Despite her earlier protests, she doesn't react as you step up to the bed and half-support, half-lift her into bed.
>She pulls the blanket up to her neck and averts her eyes.
"How do you feel? You want anything to eat or drink, or an extra pillow or something?"
>"Nah, I'm... fine."
>You take a step back.
"Alright... guess I'll see you tomorrow."
>She nods and you turn to leave, but as you walk away, you hear her quietly mutter, "Thanks."
>You look back and see her on her side facing away, ears folded down.
>You smile.
"'Course, AJ. I'm happy to help you."

...

>The next day you wake up to a loud banging.
>An old fear of being terrorized by your siblings seizes your heart and you scramble out of bed.
>You stumble in the dark and slam your elbow into the end table.
"Ah fuck! Ugh... wha-who izzit? Whatrya doin?"
>You hear a muffled filly's voice, "Anon? Ah heard a bang, y'all alright?"
>You take a deep breath and try to calm your racing heart.
>It's just Apple Bloom.
>Not your shithead father or bitch of a sister... or that asshole Kevin.
>As you struggle into some pants, you call out.
"Ugh... I'm alright... just not a morning person. What time is it anyways?"
>As you approach your front door, you hear her mutter, "Way too early."
>You open the door and rub the sleep from your eyes.
"I agree... so why are you even here?"
>Apple Bloom sighs, "With Applejack injured, we got way too much work t'do. Me n' Big Mac got up early to start workin'."
>You grimace.
"Man... there's that much, huh? So did you come out here to bring me to work?"
>She shakes her head, "Nah, we need ya to come take care of AJ all day. We don't wanna keep havin' to stop workin' to help 'er up the stairs and such."
>You grimace and she continues, "Granny's takin' the early train to Appleloosa to try'n get some help so hopefully it'll be sorta back to normal soon, but f'now we gotta work our tails off."
12/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558456 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:01:41")

">>32558455
>You sigh.
"Alright, I'll be ready in a few minutes. Wanna wait inside?"
>She nods and you head into your bedroom, closing the door behind you.
...
>Apple Bloom was back to being quiet on the way back to the farm.
>You really want her to be comfortable around you, so you try to think of another question to get her to open up.
"So... got any plans for after your chores today?"
>She looks up at you for a second, then her ears droop.
>"Not really... Mac n' I'll prolly be workin' till after sundown today, an' I'll have to pick up some of the heavier work ah don't usually do, so I'll prolly be exhausted."
"What about school?"
>She grimaces, "Well, Granny said she's gonna talk to Ms. Cheerilee, so... guess ah ain't goin'."
"Isn't that a good thing? I thought kids - er, foals love getting out of school."
>She scoffs, "Well yeah, but not t'do extra hard work all day!"
"Ah yeah, I guess you got a point."
>You chuckle, then reach down and ruffle her mane.
"Listen, I'm sure helping AJ won't take all my time. You come get me if there's anything I can do to help. Make sure Big Mac knows too. I'll do everything I can to help make this right."
>Your face turns sour.
"This is all my fault, after all."
>She looks up at you and takes a small step away, "What? It's yer fault AJ got hurt? What'd ya do!?"
>You sigh.
"My newest tool, that damn scythe. I designed it poorly, and when AJ moved wrong it swung unexpectedly and nearly chopped my leg off."
>Apple Bloom gasps and you continue.
"She panicked and flailed to get the blade away from me. It worked, but her flailing made it swing around, catch her foreleg, and slam her to the ground."
>You stop walking and rub your neck, not meeting Apple Bloom's enormous eyes.
"It coulda been a whole lot worse. AJ could have easily fallen on the blade instead of the handle."
>You sigh heavily.
"I have to do better. I can't let this happen again."
13/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558457 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:02:43")

">>32558456
>You start as little hooves wrap around your leg and look down at the little filly hugging you tightly.
>She looks up at you with big wet eyes.
>"Anon, I know it's hard, but ya just can't beat yerself up like that. Everypony makes mistakes sometimes but everythin' turned out alright. It ain't yer fault and ah know you'll do better next time."
>You look away again, scowling.
"Fu-- Darn it, Bloom, don't you get it? My mistake almost killed your sister!"
>She only hugs your leg tighter, "But ya didn't! Everythin's alright, Anon!"
>You slump and shake your head, repeating yourself.
"I must do better. This can't happen again."
>You open your eyes and see her huge eyes looking up at you, glistening in the moonlight.
>...Man, that stare should be illegal.
>You cave instantly, unable to bear seeing her so miserable, so you squat, pull her up onto your knee and hug her back.
>She buries her fuzzy snoot in your neck, resting her head on your shoulder and murmurs, "You'll be alright, Anon. Ya ain't a bad person just cause ya made a mistake, y'know."
>You try to wrest control of your emotions as you stroke her mane.
>Honestly you still feel like shit, but you do feel better for having voiced what was on your mind all night.
>You take a deep breath and swallow the lump in your throat.
"Thanks, Apple Bloom. I... I needed this."
>You pull back and look into those big sad eyes.
"You're pretty good at this counseling stuff, y'know."
>She smiles and sniffs, and you rub a tear from the corner of her eye.
"I'm sorry for making you upset. I feel a lot better now."
>She boops your nose with a hoof, "Just promise me ya ain't gonna beat yerself up over this."
>You sigh.
"I've always been bad about doing exactly that... but I'll try."
>She shakes her head, "Nuh uh! Promise, Anon!"
>When you don't respond, she latches onto your neck again, "Ah ain't lettin' go 'till ya promise!"
14/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558461 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:03:46")

">>32558457
>You stand up and she hangs off your neck, letting out a little shriek as your supporting knee drops from under her.
>You laugh gently as her hind hooves scramble against your belly and she flicks you with her tail, squeaking, "Hey, no fair!"
>Still laughing, you swing an arm under her, folding her tail under her rump and supporting her weight on your forearm, then you start walking.
>You're pleasantly surprised that Apple Bloom stays like that as you walk, her fetlocks hooked around your neck, the side of her head pressed against your collar under your chin, and her hind hooves pressing lightly into your belly, your free hand stroking the back of her head.
>You walk on in silence for some time.
...
>As you enter the farm, Apple Bloom finally releases your neck, twists around, and drops nimbly to the ground.
>"Ah better find Big Mac an' get to work. Applejack's still in 'er room. I oughta see ya tonight at dinner, right?"
>You smile and nod and she canters away through the rows of crops.
>While you walk up to the farmhouse, the moon smoothly lowers into the horizon and the sun rapidly rises to replace it.
>You're still weirded out by how suddenly night and day change here.
>Squinting hard against the abruptly sunny day, you open the door, step inside and call out.
"Hey, Applejack? You there?"
>No response, so you you sneak up the stairs and gently knock on her bedroom door.
"Applejack?"
>You hear a groan and rustle, then she mumbles "C'mon in."
>You enter and see she had kicked the blanket mostly off and her injured hoof is now thoroughly wrapped in a cast up to just below her knee, holding her fetlock slightly bent.
>Her hat is hanging on the wall nearby and you realize this is the first time you've ever seen her without it.
>She looks... incomplete.
>Ignoring that, you kneel at the side of her bed and mutter.
"So how do you feel?"
15/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558462 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:04:50")

">>32558461
>She opens one eye at you, then rolls it and closes it again.
>"Bored as hay."
"What did the medical pony say about your hoof?"
>She groans and pushes herself up onto her... elbow? Her foreleg's knee?
>Who'd have guessed horse biology would be so important in your future.
>"Hairline fracture in the cannon an' one hay of a sprain in the fetlock. Doc says oughta be able to walk in a day or two when the fetlock's swelling goes down, but I can't trot or buck or do darn near anythin' till the fracture heals."
>She plops back down onto bed and sighs, "So, like I said: Bored... as... hay."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"But you just woke up. How're you so bored already?"
>She scoffs, "I been bored ever since I laid down in this apple-rotting bed yesterday. I ain't got up 'cept to relieve myself and eat, an' I needed Mac's help for both."
>Her ears droop and she closes her eyes, "I never felt so ashamed an' embarrassed."
>You grimace and lay a hand on her good hoof.
"AJ, please don't feel bad. This is all my fault."
>Her eyes snap open, "What?" She sits up and glares at you, "How the hay is it yer fault I tried dancin' with a bucking blade strapped to my chest an' darn near cut yer leg off?"
>You groan and rub your face.
"If I had designed the scythe better, this never would have happened."
>"Oh ponyfeathers, your scythe is great, Anon. It ain't yer fault I made a dumb move while wearing it."
"You could have died, AJ! If that scythe had twisted just a little more as you fell..."
>She tsks and reaches over, setting a hoof on your cheek and turning your head to meet her gaze.
>She doesn't say anything, just stares intensely into your eyes.
>Feeling awkward, you avert your eyes, but she twitches her hoof on your cheek and draws your attention back to her.
>So you just sit there, staring into her big green eyes.
>Eventually, she taps your cheek and smiles.
16/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558466 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:05:54")

">>32558462
>"Anon... I know this is tearin' ya up inside, but ya gotta forgive yourself. It ain't yer fault, really. The scythe HAS to be dangerous. If you'd tried to make it perfectly safe, you'd've just made a scythe that didn't work."
>Still pressing your cheek with her hoof, she leans even closer, her expression earnest.
>"Your scythe really is great, promise. It's my own darn fault for bein' a dumb foal and standin' up while wearing such a dangerous tool."
>She closes her eyes and presses her forehead against yours, "Please Anon, I ain't just sayin' this to make ya feel better, I'm the element of honesty for Celestia's sake. I hate to see ya beat yerself up over somethin' that I know ain't yer fault."
>You close your eyes, sigh, and try to calm your racing thoughts, taking comfort in the gentile touch of her fuzzy head and hoof.
>After a moment, you pull back and meet her gaze.
"You're right, of course. I just... When you fell and cried out, I was so scared that blade got you.
>You close your eyes and shudder.
"All I could imagine in that instant was Big mac and Apple Bloom standing over your dead body... blaming me..."
>You take a long, slow breath.
>Just as you open your eyes, Applejack leans forward and boops your nose with her muzzle.
>You jerk back slightly, surprised.
>Applejack blushes, leans back and looks down, "Just... please don't blame yourself, Anon. I don't wanna see ya hurtin' from the inside like that."
>You've so idea how serious of a gesture that nose boop is in pony culture...
>You decide to just chalk that up to her heat and try not to overthink it.
>Still blushing, Applejack looks back at you, "I, uh... It's nice ya care so much, but I think we been talkin' about this too long. I gotta get downstairs and... take care of a few things."
17/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558471 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:06:59")

">>32558466
>You chuckle awkwardly and nod, extending a hand to help her out of bed.
...
>The few things turned out to be taking her daily dose of herbal medicine for her heat and going down to the river to... relieve herself.
>Thank Celestia she can stand in one place, sit in the water to clean off, and stand back up without help, so once you had walked her over there, you were able to walk away and save both of you the embarrassment of you being present for that.
>Honestly though, you were a bit curious. You'd noticed long ago most pony homes don't have bathrooms.
>Is that what the river running through Ponyville is used for?
>...You make a mental note to never bathe down river again.
>Applejack calls out so you step out from behind the tree and walk back toward the river.
>She hobbles toward you on her three good legs, but just as you come near, her good forehoof catches on a rock and she stumbles with a yelp.
>You lunge forward and grab her around the chest, supporting her weight as she instinctively reaches out with her injured hoof.
>She sits heavily and groans, "Buckin' Tartarus, I can't do nothin' myself!"
>She whinnies angrily and shakes her head in frustration, flicking your face with her mane.
>You slowly release her as she settles on her good hoof and brush her mane out of your face.
"C'mon, girl... let's get to the barn. Maybe you can't work but you can still think. Let's work on improving another tool."
>She mutters something and stands up, holding her cast up for you to grab.

...

>The day was frustrating for both of you.
>You must have drawn up fifty different designs for a dozen different machines and threw each of them away.
>Every time, you gave AJ some excuse about structural support or having a better idea or some random engineer-y jargon you threw together to try and sound like you knew what you were doing.
18/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558478 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:08:03")

">>32558471
>But really, you just kept imagining how each machine could hurt Applejack.
>Meanwhile, she kept fidgeting with various stuff around the barn, hobbling around and messing with this or that, then eventually tossing it away in disgust.
>She would often come back to you and sit heavily beside you, sighing loudly.
>You'd try and make conversation from time to time, but she was in such a sour mood it never went very well.
>Finally, her ears perk up and she turns her head.
>"Anon... I think I hear Granny!"
>You turn away from your latest hypothetical AJ-killing machine and try to grin.
"Alright! Let's see who she brought to help."
>You grab her cast as you stand and you both hurry outside.
>You see Granny walking toward the farmhouse.
>...and only Granny.
>You get a sinking feeling in your gut as Applejack calls out, "Hey Granny! How'd it go?"
>Granny turns and scowls, "Nopony! There ain't nopony! Those haybale brained appleworms 'parently can't even spare one Tartarus-lovin' pony t'help out. Whole darn town o'Apples and not a one o'them can be spared to help m'little farm 'ere."
>She stomps a hoof and snorts. "Weeell we'll see if'n a single one o'them can make it over 'ere next family reunion! Why, if ah see a one o'them, they'll be turnin' tail an' gallopin' away 'fore ah got halfway through what ah gotta say t'them bucking selfish lil--"
>Applejack, shocked by Granny's vehemence, finally finds her voice and cuts off Granny's rant sharply.
>"Granny Smith! Good gravy, what's gotten into you? I ain't never heard ya say such awful things!"
>Granny snorts and turns to walk away.
>Applejack looks to you, "Go find Big Mac and Apple Bloom, whole family needs to talk. I'll be darned if I can't walk this short way on my own."
>You nod and release her cast, watching as she carefully waddles a few steps on one hoof.
19/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558480 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:09:08")

">>32558478
>She seems to have learned her lesson at the river and is watching her good forehoof's placement very carefully.
>Satisfied, you walk up the nearest little hill.
>Sure enough, from your vantage point you spot Big Mac's red coat and Apple Bloom's red mane in a distant field.
>You jog over and shout as you approach, both heads turning to face you, immediately worried.
>Panting lightly as you slow to a walk, you quickly reassure them and explain.
"Don't worry, AJ's fine. Granny's back but she's in a really terrible mood. AJ sent me to find you two, said the whole family needed to talk."
>Big Mac nods, unhooks the cart he was hauling and canters away.
>You and Apple Bloom follow but he easily outpaces you jogging and her in a full gallop.
>Soon you're both panting heavily and slow to a walk by the time you return to the farmhouse.
>You hear muffled raised voices and turn to Apple Bloom.
"So uh... I know she said the whole family needed to talk, but now that I think about it, you might wanna keep away for now."
>Her ears fold back angrily, "What, why? I'm family too!"
>You grimace.
"I know but... Granny was using some uh... really colorful language earlier. From the sound of things, she hasn't calmed down yet."
>She snorts and looks like arguing, then stops and thinks for a few seconds, listening to the muffled shouts.
>Finally, her ears droop, "Oh, ah 'spose yer right. Ah prolly couldn't help much anyhow."
"And I'm not even family, so I'd probably just be intruding."
>Both of you wince in unison at a particularly loud shout from Applejack.
>You take a step back and Apple Bloom turns to follow.
>"So... what'll we do?"
"I dunno... any chores I can help with?"
>She shakes her head, "Nothin' ah can do without Big Mac's help. He'd have to at least show ya what t'do."
>The shouting fades behind you as you slowly walk down the farm trail.
"I guess technically that means you don't have any chores."
20/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558483 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:10:11")

">>32558480
>"Yeah..."
>You walk over to a nearby stump and sit down. Apple Bloom sits nearby, seeming uncomfortable.
"And you said you don't have to go to school either, so I guess you have some free time until they sort out whatever they're sorting out."
>"'Spose so."
>She just sits there, staring at the ground.
"Figured you'd be more excited."
>She shrugs without looking up, "Ain't much for me to do without Scoot and Sweetie. They're still in school."
>You wait silently. Not sure why, but you get the feeling she has something else to say.
>Sure enough, after a moment she paws at the ground and says, "I learned that the hard way after we got our cutie marks."
"...You wanna talk about it?"
>She looks at you out of the corner of her eye, "Um... nah. It hit me real hard then, but the three of us talked it out and ah don't feel so bad 'bout it anymore."
>She's obviously still uncomfortable, so you chuckle softly.
"You sure about that?"
>Her ears droop and she breaks away from your gaze.
>You scoot off the tree trunk, sit cross legged right next to her, and rub gently behind her ear.
"Look Apple Bloom, it's alright if you still feel bad about it and you just don't want to talk about it, I won't pry..."
>You hook her chin with a finger and gently turn her gaze back to you.
"But don't lie to yourself and pretend you're okay when you're really not. If you bottle up bad feelings like that, the bottle will eventually break and you'll explode with all that pent up emotion. It's best to just talk about it as soon as the feelings happen."
>Apple Bloom tries to sigh casually but her breath catches in her throat.
"Really, if you don't want to talk about, just say so and I won't ask, I promise... but I'm still gonna give you a big hug."
>She yelps in surprise as you snatch her up in your arms.
>You place her in your lap, wrap an arm around her tiny body, and press her close to you.
21/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558488 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:11:17")

">>32558483
>She immediately twists around to face you, buries her head in her forelegs against your chest, and quietly starts crying.
>You just hold her silently, stroking her mane and waiting for her to either say something or cry herself out.
>Her gentle sobs do eventually peter out, but she doesn't try to break the embrace, so you just continue stroking her mane.
...
>Some time later, it is like this that Big Mac finds you.
>He walks up so silently you'd never have even known if you weren't by chance facing the right direction.
>Even Apple Bloom, with her more sensitive pony hearing, didn't seem to have noticed him.
>He stops as soon as he sees you two and your eyes meet.
>His expression is odd. A bit happy, a bit sad, a bit concerned.
>Worried he might turn and leave, you make a small gesture with your free hand for him to approach.
>You look down at Apple Bloom and realize she actually fell asleep.
>Very carefully, you shift her around and slowly stand up, trying not to wake her.
>Big Mac walks up and you whisper in response to his questioning look.
"We agreed probably neither of us should intrude on your, uh, discussion. She realized she had some free time but apparently feels she has nothing to do without the other crusaders. She didn't say much, but she looked terrible, so I gave her a hug... then she broke down crying and I just held her till she fell asleep like this."
>Big Mac nods and whispers, "Thanks. Head on back to the house. I'll go on ahead."
>He turns and walks away silently, accelerating as he gets some distance between you so the sound of his trotting doesn't disturb the sleeping filly.
>After a moment, you walk after him, stepping as gently as possible.
...
>When you arrive at the farmhouse, Applejack is standing outside on her good hoof waiting for you.
22/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558489 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:12:24")

">>32558488
>She sighs and lets out a little "Aww" at Apple Bloom's little form curled adorably against your chest, but as you get close enough for whispers, she says, "Cute as she might be, we can't let 'er sleep."
"Why not?"
>She grimaces, "No help from Appleloosa... and way too much work to be done 'round here."
>You look down at Apple Bloom.
"I don't think she was that sleepy, she just cried herself to sleep. She ought to be fine."
>You stroke Apple Bloom's mane and mutter.
"Apple Bloom? Come on, wake up."
>She stirs slightly and you tickle her ear, making it flick.
>A few more flicks and she opens an eye at you, "Quit it, 'non..."
"Sorry girl, but you gotta wake up. Your sister's cracking the whip, time for more work."
>Applejack whinnies in mock outrage, "Crackin' the whip? I'll show you crackin' the whip!"
>Apple Bloom stretches and gives you a little nicker as you kneel to set her down.
>You stand and give Applejack a sly grin, then change the subject.
"Alright, so what's going on?"
>Applejack sighs heavily, "Apparently, Appleloosa is too busy to spare even one pony to help. Some big festival for the princess or somethin', I dunno. Granny didn't wanna talk about it much."
>She shakes her head sadly, "So we got too much work and not enough hooves. Big Mac's the only one who can do any heavy lifting. There just ain't no way we're gettin' everything done, so some of our crops'll over ripen... some might even die."
"Can't anyon--er, anypony from town help?"
>She shrugs, "Maybe with simple stuff, but we still ain't letting nopony fly or use magic, and unless anypony is gonna help full time and stop whatever they normally do, we just can't waste the time teachin' them to do any more'n hauling carts around."
"Even at a time like this, you still won't use magic?"
>Applejack snorts derisively, "Anon, magic ain't NEVER been used to farm our crops. We ain't about to start now."
>You look around you.
23/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558494 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:13:27")

">>32558489
"Alright, well... what can I do to help?"
>"In a minute, head on over to the main orchard and help Big Mac, he'll give you instructions but honestly you'll probably just be carrying baskets back and forth. Apple Bloom, go on to the carrot field and help Granny harvest."
>Apple Bloom nods and trots off.
"And you?"
>Applejack's ears droop, "An' I'm gonna lay in bed after ya help me up the stairs and try not to die o' boredom."
>She cuts you off as you open your mouth, "An' don't you apologize, y'know it ain't your fault."
>You sigh and hold out your hand for her cast.
>As you walk up the stairs Applejack says, "It ain't all bad. Couple o' the girls are comin' by later. Twilight's gonna bring some books she thinks I might like."
"You read much?"
>"Nah, not really... I gotta few books in my room, but I usually ain't got the time. Now I got nothin' but time, so figured I'd give it a shot."
"Y'know, now that I think about it, I'm surprised there aren't healing spells or something."
>Applejack pushes her door open, "Oh there are... they're just expensive as hay."
"Twilight can't do them?"
>You help her hop up into bed, "Nah... I don't know the details, but apparently they're so difficult it takes years of study at a school that focuses on just medical spells in Manehatten to get good enough to risk using 'em on ponies."
"Ah... so they're expensive cause hardly anypony has the skill?"
>"Exactly. Payin' a Medicorn to travel--"
"Medicorn?"
>"Medical Unicorn, trained for years in Manehatten like I was sayin'... Gettin' a normal Manehatten-ite to travel to this 'quaint' little village is already hard cause they're so darn snooty, so the rates Medicorns ask for comin' out 'ere are just absurd."
>She shakes her head in disgust, "Hay, we could probably hire somepony full time for the next two weeks while I heal and fire 'em with full compensation afterwards, and it'd still be cheaper than a bucking Medicorn."
24/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558498 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:14:31")

">>32558494
"Wow... we had shit like that back on Earth but I never expected it here."
>Applejack starts to ask a question, then stops herself and her ears droop sadly.
>"Much as I'd love ya to stay and keep me... uh, from gettin' bored, you should really go help Big Mac."
>You grimace.
"Alright... want anything before I go?"
>She mumbles something.
"What was that?"
>"Uh... nothin'."
>You wait a moment more, then shrug.
"Well then... I'll see you tonight at dinner."
...
>You find Big Mac near a cart filled with baskets in the middle of a dense section of the orchard.
>As you approach, you watch him grab an empty basket, position it near a tree, buck the tree, and hurriedly try and grab the basket to catch the falling apples.
>He isn't quite quick enough, misses several and has to set the basket down to toss them in the basket.
>As he turns to another tree, he notices you approaching.
>"Wondered when you'd show up."
>You wince.
"Sorry man... Applejack was desperate to stave off the boredom, but eventually shoved me out."
>He shrugs, "'Sokay. See what I was doin'?"
"Yeah. Grab an empty basket, catch the falling apples. I'm guessing each basket fits a few trees' worth of apples, then take the full basket back to the cart and swap with another empty basket?"
>"Eyup."
>You pick up the basket he started.
"I'll do my best... but please remember, I don't have earth pony strength or endurance. To be honest, I wouldn't even be considered very fit for a human back home..."
>You sigh.
"Point is, I'm sorry if I'm too slow or have to stop for breaks."
>He nods.
"Well then, lets get started."
...
>Turns out it wasn't as difficult as you worried.
>You've no idea how, but somehow when he bucks a tree, all the apples fall down roughly from one spot among the leaves, making it easy to catch in the basket.
25/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558505 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:15:38")

">>32558498
>Even watching an apple on the other side of the tree doesn't give any answers. It seems to just shake off it's branch directly toward the same place all the other apples go.
>You suspect some magic is being used on the farm after all.
>What this means for you is the hardest part of the job is carrying the full basket back to the cart.
>You do miss apples occasionally, but with your 'nimble monkey hands,' you collect the fallen apples quickly and easily.
>You know Big Mac doesn't like to talk too much, so you just work in companionable silence for a while.
>However, as the trees go on and on, you find yourself getting increasingly bored.
>You keep trying to think of something to ask Big Mac, but nothing seems important enough that he'd say more than five words.
>Besides, you keep having to step away to change baskets, so any conversation would be interrupted every couple minutes anyways.
>So you continue working in silence and wind up lost in your thoughts.
>It's only when you set down your latest full basket that you realize Big Mac followed you to the cart instead of getting ready at the next tree to buck.
"What's up?"
>He walks around you to the front of the cart and hooks himself in.
>"Cart's full. Follow me."
"Oh."
>You fall in step beside him and turn back and look at the cart.
>Each basket was heavy enough you struggled to carry it twenty feet back to the cart, yet Big Mac is casually hauling a cart with at least two dozen baskets like he's taking a leisurely walk through the park.
>You're thinking of asking him just how much he can pull when he surprises you by talking first.
>"Listen, Anon. Y'know I ain't much for talkin' or for expressin' my feelings... but well, I got a bit of talkin' to do, so bear with me here."
>You're suddenly feeling a bit worried.
"Alright, I'm listening... Is something wrong?"
26/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558508 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:16:41")

">>32558505
>He shakes his head, "Nope. Just the opposite. I wanted to say I really appreciate whatever it is you've been doin' with Apple Bloom."
>You don't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't that.
"...huh? Really?"
>"Eyup. Like I said, Apple Bloom was too young to remember our parents, so I'm the only stallion she's ever spent real time with and well... I ain't exactly great with foals."
>He sighs heavily, still walking like he hasn't even noticed the thousand fucking pounds of apples hanging from his shoulders.
>"Now I don't know what you're really tryin' to do with Apple Bloom... but it looks to me like you're bein' a darn good substitute for a father figure. She could never see me as anythin' but her big brother, and while I ain't too happy it's you an' not me... well, I'm glad she finally has someone like that in her life."
>Unexpected emotion wells in your chest and you find yourself at a loss for words.
>When you don't respond, Big Mac looks back at you curiously.
>Still speechless, you just give him a little smile.
>His ears droop and he looks away, "I knew I shouldn't a said nothin'. Now I gone and got ya upset. I'm sorry, Anon."
>You struggle to find your voice.
"N-No, Mac. I'm not upset, really. I'm happy... really happy. Thank you for telling me this."
>He looks back up, seeming mildly surprised.
>You swallow the lump in your throat and continue.
27/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558512 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:17:48")

">>32558508
"I uh... I never got along with my family back home. Felt like I was the only normal person surrounded by new and inventive kinds of asshole. What few 'friends' I made weren't much better."
>You take a few quick steps and get in front of Big Mac, forcing him to stop.
>You meet his gaze, your head being about the same height as his.
"See, when I first came here to Equestria, it was like a new beginning for me... but I still couldn't really get along with any...pony. Only pony that really treated me like a friend was Twilight, and I always suspected it was just out of guilt for bringing me here in the first place."
>You rub your upper arms, trying to calm the shakes you always get when talking about real emotions.
"When I started working here, I hoped was maybe one of you could be my first real friend here, or at the very least, that spending time with you would improve other ponies' opinions of me in town and maybe I could make a friend there, indirectly thanks to you Apples."
>Big Mac just stares at you, silent and passive.
"But since my very first day... the four of you have been nothing but welcoming. I uh... At first I thought I'd just got lucky when Applejack befriended me so quickly, but then Granny welcomed me with open... uh, open hooves, and then Apple Bloom warmed up to me..."
>You groan impatiently.
"Sorry, I'm rambling. Point is, I thought I was lucky to befriend even two of you. With all four of you being so nice, I uh... well, I feel like you aren't just friends... it feels like y'all are the closest thing I've ever had to a real family."
28/29"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32558518 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)10:20:31")

">>32558512
>You choke on the last word and just stand there silently, trying to keep your composure in front of the stoic stallion.
>He stares at you impassively for a few seconds, then slowly steps back, sliding his head out of his heavy duty work horse collar and stepping under it as it hangs from the cart.
>Slowly, almost awkwardly, he walks up and stops directly in front of you, smiling.
>Then suddenly he hooks one hoof around your neck and pulls you into a rough embrace.
>He only holds it a couple of seconds before letting go and turning back to his cart.
>Stunned, you can only stand there as he gets back into his work horse collar.
>He nickers as he begins pulling the cart again, forcing you to come to your senses and step out of the way.
>As he passes, you turn and continue walking beside him.
>Seems he said all he needed.
29/29

Alrighty there you go. Please let me know what you think. I am still a very new writer and I would love honest critique, even if it's negative. Don't worry about scaring me off

https://pastebin.com/fFDLGj9H"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32559084 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)14:25:35")

">>32558518
Fuck you, I'm not crying. It's just hot out here. My eyes are sweating."
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32559923 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)18:46:36")

">Today you're at Rarity's getting new clothes made. The ones you arrived with have finally worn out.
>And you mean worn out, like holes and rips beyond repair worn out. Homeless bum is not a good look for you.
>Rarity's voice calls from upstairs "Anonymous, my first creation is in the changing room. Let me know how it fits."
>Her 'first creation' is formal trousers. Dramahorse.
>Trying them on, something is immediately very wrong. They're incredibly short and tight around the crotch. Did she leave no room for your junk?
>Fuck, even if you were a woman you couldn't get these on. And they're insanely baggy around your ass, you could fit a whole extra butt in there.
>Taking them off, laying them on the floor the problem is quite obvious. The whole pelvic region of the trousers is at a 90 degree angle to the legs.
>This is baffling... Wait a minute, these are pony pants. "Oh for the love of... Rarity!"
------------------------Some Time Later------------------------------
>You've tried several times to resolve this issue but they keep coming back with various angles and alterations, none of which work.
>Clearly there is a serious bipedal block in this quadruped world.
>Let's see, if there's no solution there must be an alternative....
>Of course, it's so obvious. What did people wear before trousers were invented? Robes, togas, that sort of thing.
>Even the bipedally challenged designers of this world can't fuck up a bedsheet with some arm holes in it. Right?
>Good gravy you hope not.
>Turning to a rather dishevelled and tired fashionhorse you smile. "Rarity I have an idea.""
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32559929 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)18:48:13")

">>32559923
-------------------Spongebob Time Card Later-----------------------
>Welp. Progress has definitely been made.
>Rarity has come back with a design fit for a human. It took a lot of effort, cajoling, coffee and one of you may have cried a little.
>It's the right length, a tasteful red colour, quality craftponyship and most importantly of all made for human proportions.
>Fucking finally.
>There's only two small problems, teeny tiny issues. It's not a robe or a toga. And it's made of sequins.
>She's made you a dress. It honestly looks like something Jessica Rabbit would wear.
>What the fuck got lost in translation this time.
>It seems you have only two options. Dress like the worst kind of ragged hobo or like Uncle Incognito when his midlife crisis resulted in a stint as a drag queen.
>Why is this so hard?
>You begin to wonder if you've become the victim of a pony nudist conspiracy to force you to ditch clothing altogether.


/--------/

>You arrived at the Dawn of Time. Their dawn of time, not yours.
>You figured out where you were pretty quickly. There were signs that were pretty hard to miss.
>Hardly the most responsible or capable man in the universe with little understanding of predestination paradoxes and all that.
>Complicated stuff with potentially terrible consequences, you went all Prime Directive and non-interference just in case.
>Though there were was the odd hiccup and you have ended up starring in a few legends accidentally.
>But you were for the most part an immortal observer.
>Then the time came to reveal yourself. A blatant violation of the prime directive and all that.
>But this was the moment you'd been waiting for since you realised where you where.
>You'd stepped into the light so to speak.
>Anonymous in Equestria.
>"Whatcha thinkin about Nonny?"
>"Hmm?"
>"Y'all got your face screwed up like Granny in an orange orchard."
>"Oh just if we should stop by Sugarcube Corner for lunch."
>"WHOO! CUPCAKE TIME!"

https://pastebin.com/upQSDRgu"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32560507 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)21:10:50" && image=="612483.png")

">>32558518
That's a nice story, Maonyman.

>"Anon, magic ain't NEVER been used to farm our crops. We ain't about to start now."

So what do we call this scene from Applebuck Season?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32560537 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)21:20:35")

">>32560507

I think we call it "Applejack Humoring Her Autistic Friend""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32560558 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)21:26:35")

">>32560537
>I think we call it "Applejack Humoring Her Autistic Friend"

Applejack gave up on her stubborn pride for outside help in Applebuck Season and has never had any qualms about the use of magic around the farm except where Winter Wrap Up was concerned. Since Applebuck Season is literally the fourth episode of Season 1, I'll chalk it up to the author forgetting."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32560882 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:34:07" && image=="A good egg.png")

if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560924 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:44:48")

">>32558373
They are certainly trying. It's gotten so bad I've seen 100% turn over in my area. I am the only person that's worked there for more than 2 years now.
Anyway Fallen in Equestria isn't dead I'm still working on it as I can. Gonna put up an update for it when I have a bit more written out.
In the mean time I'll have a series of short snippets for that Anon and Chrysalis as friends one shot idea I posted a while back.
The shorts are quicker to do when I've just got a little time after work to work on something because I don't have to keep up with as much over arching plot and check stuff for continuity."
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560937 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:46:54")

">>32560924
> You are Anonymous and today you're taking a trip to the game store.
>Not that you particularly need anything but the new rules errata for Hyperspace Hyperwars just came out and Chrysalis is dying to get it.
>That said you'd think the queen of the changelings could come up with a better disguise.
"Remind me again how you think this isn't conspicuous?"
>You ask glancing over at her. She's shape shifted but not all that much really.
>If anything she looks like herself sans the holes and less bug more pony.
>Her horn has straightened out for the most part but other than that it's same height, same mane color, even that same imperious posture.
>She has at least thrown on a hoodie and a pair of thick glasses to help the disguise.
>"What are you talking about? My disguise is flawless. Besides they're all going to be staring at you anyway.
>She has you there.
>You'd press the matter further but given what interactions you've had with the ponies there is ever chance in the world her Clark Kent equse disguise is going to work.
>Besides that you've only got what finances the rats bring you and she usually ends up picking up things for your army.
>You're fortunate that you're pretty much the only person that regularly plays with her, or hangs out with her in general for that matter.
>"What is it you're so worried about anyway, I'm the one that's Equestrian public enemy number one."
"My concern is that if you're discovered it'll go something like this. "It's Chrysalis and she brought that weird monkey monster, get them!"
"Admittedly given how things work here if I survive the ensuing lynching I'll probably get an apology cake."
>She snorts at that, though you're not quite sure if it's from amusement or she's simply dismissing your concern.
>Ponyville is just up ahead and you mentally prepare yourself for the stares you always draw.
>While the ponies have never been overtly hostile most of them are happy to keep their distance from you."
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560945 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:48:08")

">>32560937
>With Chrysalis at your side you trod the familiar path to the game store ignoring the wave of hushed conversations that erupt with your passing.
>At least the ponies at the store seem more willing to tolerate you.
>Probably because you learn the rules to whatever game it is you're playing and bathe frequently, which is more than can be said for a few of the regulars.
>The bell chimes as you enter the game shop most of the customers only sparing you a glance, too engrossed in their games to pay you much mind.
>Chrysalis quickly makes her way over to the bookshelf to begin digging for her prize.
>Knowing better than to stand between her and something she wants, or near something she wants for that matter you head over to the models.
>As you're browsing the selection of tanks and considering which one might be the best addition to your Iron Thanes grand company the bell chimes again.
>You glance toward the door much as the other customers had previously but this time you find the newest entrant to the shops occupants holds your attention.
>Flanked by a pair of guards that look very much like they would rather be anywhere else is Princess Luna.
>The Princess spends a moment looking around the shop before spotting the rack of models by which you are standing.
>Her eyes travel up and down the plastic soldiers, their boxes arranged in rows and stacks.
>"Goodness. I did not think there would be so many."
>Judging by her tone she was speaking to herself but all the same you decide to see if you can help.
"There are quite a lot to choose from. Is this your first time picking up a set?"
>Your interjection startles Luna from her introspection.
>"Yes, was it so obvious?" She says self consciously.
"Well most everyone who already plays knows what they want before they arrive."
>The Princess regards you for a moment, though if she is at all off put by the strangeness of your appearance she hides it well."
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560951 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:49:13")

">>32560945
>"I'm afraid I am woefully unprepared then. Perhaps you might be willing to assist me?" She asks hopefully.
"Well the best place to begin is finding one you like the look of, or one that fits your preferred style of combat."
>On that last subject Luna seems to have a strong opinion.
>"Charging gallantly across the field to meet the foe blade to blade!"
>Realizing her exclamation has drawn looks from most everyone in the shop that wasn't already starting she blushes and lowers her voice.
>"I also quite like the look of these ones."
>The princess produces a slightly crumpled page from a magazine.
>It's a bit of splash art from one of the box sets showing Lunar Sentinels fighting off an army of dark eldeer raiders.
"Lunar Sentinels are a solid choice for what you want. You'll just need to go a bit heavier on assault troops maybe a few transports."
>The Princess nods understanding and begins levitating some of the boxes from the rack.
>"These then?" She asks floating them at eye level for your inspection.
"Looks about right, now you just need a commander. You should have a few options for that just pick the one you like."
>As Luna peruses the options for her force commander you can't help but notice the looks you're getting from the other patrons.
>A few approving, a few jealous that they didn't approach the princess first, and one in particular attempting to bore a hole in the back of your head.
>The latter is coming from Chrysalis. Her face is scrunched in displeasure to such a degree it looks like she's trying to swallow her own lower jaw.
>Upon seeing you notice her the glaring intensifies.
>You're not sure if she's upset that you're being so friendly with one of her enemies or just because you're being friendly with someone else in general."
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560959 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:50:14")

">>32560951
>Deciding it's best not to antagonize your best friend the tyrant queen of the changelings unduly you excuse yourself from Luna's company.
"Looks like my friend needs to talk to me about something Princess. If you need any more help I'll be around."
>Luna smiles brightly "Thank you for the assistance, this trip has been most enlightening so far."
>You return the smile before making your way over to Chrysalis who is quietly fuming near the rule books.
>"What are you doing consorting with the enemy?!" she hisses at you in a harsh whisper.
"Helping her pick an army. Don't worry your disguise is flawless remember?"
>You say innocently as you can manage. It's a terrible idea but it's hard to resist picking at her when she's wound up like this.
>The way her eye is twitching tells you she'd probably try to smack you if she though she could get away with it.
>Trying it would probably blow her cover, or at the very least get her kicked out of the store.
>You've never really asked around the shop but given the gender ratios here you're pretty sure at least a few of mares in the shop think she's your possessive girlfriend.
>Chrysalis manages to suppress the urge for violence with a deep breath. "Well I've got the book so let's get going."
>Before she can elaborate further or make good her escape Luna comes trotting happily over a mighty stack of boxes in tow.
>"Forgive me if I am interrupting, but I have no idea where to begin when it comes to these small paints."
>She holds up five different shades of blue for emphasis.
>For her part Chrysalis looks torn between hiding or running.
"Nothing to forgive Princess. You'll want to start with a primer, then you'll need the darker blue for a base coat and the lighter ones for highlights."
>You're not sure Luna heard anything you just said as she is staring intently at Chrysalis.
>"You look very familiar have we met before?""
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560972 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:51:58")

">>32560959
>Chrysalis to her credit manages to respond quickly. "No Princess I've never had the honor, maybe you've just seen me at one of the events in Canterlot. What brings you all the way down to Ponyville."
>"My sister had suggested I find a hobby, and I had happened across this." Luna says producing the same crumpled page she showed you, complete with the stores address at the bottom.
>"I see, well it was wonderful to meet you but we really have to be going now."
>Chrysalis is being you now physically scooting you along as you lean back against her in an effort to make it more difficult.
>"Wait please, I'm afraid I did not get your names." Luna says as you're pushed by her.
>You plant one heel and lift the other letting Chrysalis stumble by you as you turn in place.
"How very rude of us. I'm Anonymous the human and this is my good friend Crystal Glass."
>"It is a pleasure to meet you both. I was hoping" Luna says hesitating slightly. "That perhaps if the both of you would like we might have a game later."
>Luna looks surprisingly nervous right now. You suppose being a head of state and Princess of the night she doesn't get the chance to get out much.
>"We could meet at the Friendship Castle if Canterlot is too far to travel." She adds hurriedly. "I am certain Twilight Sparkle would not mind."
"We would be delighted Princess."
>Chrysalis stares at you in open disbelief "We would?" She echos, though princess Luna apparently misses the questioning tone.
"How about a week from now to give you time to get your army together. Don't worry too much about having them painted right away."
>Luna nods enthusiastically. "Very well we shall meet again in a weeks time. I hope meeting in the evening will not cause you any trouble."
>You offer a shrug being a cave dweller tends to leave ones schedule wide open.
"Whatever works best for you is fine princess. We'll be there in the evening next week.""
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560977 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:53:02")

">>32560972
>You start ushering a stunned Chrysalis towards the counter.
"Let's get your rule book and get going, I know you had a lot of things to do Crystal."
>Her pruchase gets rung up and you make your way out of the shop Chrysalis still shuffling along in a mild daze.
>"When we get back to the hive I'm going to murder you." She says in a far away tone, staring into the mid distance.
"I kinda figured, but did you see how happy Luna looked? I think that really made her day."
>You pat Chrysalis on the back as she trudges along down the street. There's no doubt you have some form of retribution coming, but you doubt she'll actually kill you.
>If she did that who would she hang out with?
>From some distnace behind you you can hear princess Luna's voice. "Huzzah we have made two friends today! Who is a shut in now sister?""
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32560990 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)22:55:47")

">>32560977
Here's a pastebin with the first short in it, only a couple of posts long but here for anyone that wants to read it. Just gonna lump these shorts into one entry as I do more of them.
https://pastebin.com/2graSasD"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32561237 && dateTime=="06/25/18(Mon)23:44:10")

">>32559084
Sorry! Sweat in your eyes really sucks, huh? hehe so you like it then?

>>32560507
>>32560558
Ah shit, you're right, I totally forgot about that scene. I got the idea AJ didn't like magic on the farm from the winter wrap up and flim flam cider episodes.

>>32560537
kek are you saying twilight is the autistic friend or anon is?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32561631 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)01:51:01")

">>32558518
29 fucking posts.
Excellent update though, please continue."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32562194 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)06:38:22")

">>32561631
Reminds a man of the old days."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32562426 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)09:29:48")

">>32560990
That was super cute, I liked it a lot. Luna is best princess anyway, always good to see more with her."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32562433 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)09:34:28")

">>32560924
Did you ever fix your pastebin? Or is it still missing chunks of story? I say chunks because I know it was missing at least one, but I postponed reading it until it was fixed."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32562883 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)12:25:36" && image=="1477581029431.gif")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32563251 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)14:06:40")

">>32562194
How so?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32563791 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)16:16:24")

">>32563251
Let me tell you about Tyko..."
;


if(Fallanon !.18ItdoukM && title=="" && postNumber==32563795 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)16:16:54")

">>32562426
Thank you and I'll be adding little bits to this as I can so there's more Luna to come.
>>32562433
I believe it's fixed, at least all the parts that were porintedout to me if you find any issues let me know."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32563813 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)16:19:15")

">>32563791
I still have the shirt somewhere."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565019 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)21:24:53")

">>32562883
das cute"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565038 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)21:31:54" && image=="964065.png")

">>32565019
>das cute
Das Boot"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565373 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)22:44:45" && image=="inna snooter.gif")

">>32565038
>Das Boop"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565425 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)22:56:02" && image=="maxresdefault.jpg")

">>32565373
>Das Boop
Das Shoop"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565462 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)23:05:40")

">>32565425
dammit who let 2007 back in"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565527 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)23:27:01")

">>32565462
Did 2007 touch your harbl, or something?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32565622 && dateTime=="06/26/18(Tue)23:51:38" && image=="1255561940265.jpg")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32566130 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)02:56:52")

">>32565527
>harbl
Oh fuck, I thought I would never hear that sweet word again."
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32566565 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)07:14:25" && image=="1590162__safe_artist-colon-dilarus_twilight+sparkle_dialogue_female_monochrome_mouse_owl_simple+background_sketch_species+swap_vulgar_white+background.jpg")

"Was trying to write a thing but I lost interest. Thread needs a bump anyway

>"So, you're the gigalo?" The nervous mare asks warily.
>"Giggle low," Pinkie corrects, "Now get in there, Tiger."
>As you step forward Pinkie gives you a slap on the butt with a cheery giggle.
>As you close the door behind you, the mare says in a hush voice, "Giggle low?"
>You shrug.
"It's either just how she pronounces it or she's making a joke. It's... Hard to tell."
>"Oh, I see. That somehow explains a lot."
"Like what?" You ask as you unbutton.
>The mare begins to stare, her mind in two places at once. The one that's trying to focus on the conversation clearing losing out to the other.
>"Just, when she was discussing price... And, uh, things."
"I see, well then."
>You look at the current client. Clearly an older mare with a line or two in the more worn places of her face. But her orange coat still shines and short blonde mane still flatter her. An exact age impossible to narrow down but it's not like that matters.
>The mare gives a shocked but youthful giggle as you scoop her up I to your arms and place her on the bed. It was as if the clock was wound back and she was filled with an energy she didn't know she had.
-----
>As you step outside, Pinkie glances at her watch.
>"You were in there a while," she beams.
"Uh, yeah. There was an encore performance."
>"That's always promising."
>As the two of you begin walking off, you notice two buttons out of place and hastily fix them.
>"She seemed real happy, looks like you showed her a great time.
"Well, I do work for it."
>You and Pinkie wander into"
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32566568 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)07:14:58" && image=="1040297__safe_artist-colon-theparagon_rarity_bathrobe_body+pillow_body+pillow+design_clothes_cute_plot_pony_rarara_raribetes_raspberry_robe_silly_silly.png")

">>32566565
>"I thought we could maybe expand our business."
"How so?" You ask, your brow creasing in caution.
>"Well, we could move into doing stallions too."
>You choke on your drink, coughing and spluttering. A worried Pinkie Pie pats you on the back until your airways clear.
"I don't really... Go that way, Pink."
>"Why not? I think it'd be better to make everypony happy. No matter what gender," she smiles sweetly, and you note innocently.
>She often does. Even though she is your manager... Or pimp, however you wanted to put it, she always seemed to have this aura of innocence. Many ponies did, especially your clients due to nerves. But Pinkie seemed to take it a step further that made you think she was either poking fun or worse...
>With a bit of uneasy trepidation, you sit up and clear your throat.
"Pinkie, what exactly do you think a giga--giggle low does?"
>"Isn't it just a human word for comedian?"
"A comedian... Who only does their act for one person at a time?"
>"I thought it a bit odd but then again, you're the only human we've got. How would I know how you do it."
"I... Guess."
>"And you've got to show me your act some time."
"I'm not sure I should--"
>"But I could give you tips."
"I just said I don't go that way," you smile, unable to resist the joke.
>"I don't follow.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32566580 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)07:19:59")

">>32566568
>Innocent Pinkie is Anon's pimp
Kek write more faggot"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32566604 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)07:34:15")

">>32566568
What did anon do?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32566957 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)10:46:22")

">>32546198
I do love the story. I've been hooked since the first chapter. Thank you for the update."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32567007 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)11:07:03")

">>32552700
Thanks for the update 8th. I love the Filly NMM stories as well."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32567299 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)12:30:30")

"Zebra pussy";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32567542 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)13:06:27")

">>32567299
Horse pussy!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32567764 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)13:50:52")

">>32566568
>"But I could give you tips."
kek
Good stuff as well 8th."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32568239 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)15:21:51")

">>32567542
Why not both"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32569004 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)17:48:21")

">>32560507
Alright, I changed that scene up a bit to cover what happened in Applebuck Season. Paste is updated but here's the bit that changed.

"Can't anyon--er, anypony from town help?"
>She shrugs, "Maybe with simple stuff, but unless anypony is gonna help full time and stop whatever they normally do, we just can't waste the time teachin' them to do any more'n hauling carts around."
"Can't we have Twilight or some other unicorn help with magic?"
>Applejack sighs, "Nah, not really. Twilight helped once before, but that was just for a couple hours. This'd take days, maybe even weeks of constant work. I'm sure Twilight would help if I asked, but she's way too busy for how much work we got."
>She shakes her head, "And no way I'm trustin' nopony else to use magic 'round here. Gotta be gentle with these apples or they can turn sour, an' nopony else has Twilight's fine touch."
"I thought her student was just as good? Starlight something?"
>Applejack snorts and Apple Bloom giggles beside you.
"What?"
>Applejack smirks, "Starlight Glimmer sure is powerful an' talented, but she's about as gentle as a Yak. I'd sooner have Rarity fussin' over my trees than her."
>You shrug.
"Alright, well... what can I do to help?""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32569047 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)17:54:30" && image=="bDnPcxV.gif")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32569681 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)20:06:47")

">>32569004
>Poochie helping harvest apples.
Do you want applesauce, Anon? Pony-Stalin would pulp the fruit to make sure the taste and texture were equal amongst the fruit."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32569751 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)20:18:56")

">>32569681
In the real world, apples (and other fruit) vary in quality and condition when they come off the trees. The pretty, perfect ones get loaded on trucks and shipped to supermarkets to be sold as fresh produce. The rest become canned applesauce, frozen concentrated apple juice, canned apple pie filling, and so on.

The pretty ones do command a premium price--otherwise, it'd cost too much to ship them to be worth selling them.

tl;dr they'd still be saleable, I guess, but in cans, and that might be bad for business"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32569825 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)20:33:06")

">>32525336
That isn't even real skub! Whose side are you on, skub heretic!?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32569973 && dateTime=="06/27/18(Wed)21:03:45" && image=="1424397426305.jpg")

">>32556332
Holy Shit!
It's fucking MAD SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
>>32558518
I like this story. Applejack being injured, with Anon having to take care of her, isn't something I think I've ever seen before. And all the scenes with Apple Bloom are fucking adorable.
moar pls"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32570936 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)00:32:08")

">>32568239
No."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32571784 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)06:30:22")

">>32570936
You're no fun."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32572616 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)12:36:17")

">>32570936
Tfb"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32573414 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)15:43:11")

">>32569825
Which has Reece's?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32573837 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)17:57:43")

">>32573414
Skub doesn't have Reece's, what are you talking about?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32574057 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)18:54:42")

">>32558518
I remember this. Thanks for updating it. I loved it. I do hope you continue.

>>32559929
Enjoyable as always. Thanks He-Anon.

>>32560990
Good to see ya Fallanon! Glad to see you're continuing this. I felt there was a lot of comfy potential when you posted the beginning.

>>32566568
I like the premise 8th. A little something that could be developed into a larger story."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32574957 && dateTime=="06/28/18(Thu)22:46:36")

">>32573837
which side"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32575915 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)04:17:57")

">>32566568
Interdasting"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32576745 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)11:53:57")

"Page 9 Bump";


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32576809 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)12:14:18" && image=="cloud_introspection_by_dunnstar-d5s0bj7.jpg")

">>32576745
Good to see that there's still people who care about these threads, after all these years.

I work this evening and tomorrow evening, but I'm currently in the process of writing. At the latest, I'll try to have something out by Monday. Sooner, if I can. I'd like to get back to my roots."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32576828 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)12:20:39" && image=="gottagofast.jpg")

">>32576809
Hi Shoim"
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32576845 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)12:25:32")

">>32576828
Hello, Anon."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32576850 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)12:28:04")

">>32576845
Go back to bed babe."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577396 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)15:30:02")

">>32576850
Can I go back to bed too?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577429 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)15:40:22" && image=="moodybelle.png")

">>32576809
>>32576845
Wait, what?
Is this real? This can't be real. I refuse to believe this.
I refuse to have hope"
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32577459 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)15:50:13" && image=="here goes nothing.png")

">>32577429
Oh, it's... it's real. As real as it's going to get."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577601 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)16:27:44" && image=="1391216796550.gif")

">>32577459
Well fuck me, Sherm, welcome back. I look forward to your update.
It does an old heart good to see your return."
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32577662 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)16:45:21" && image=="1363212207974.gif")

">>32577601
I came to the conclusion that I've never really finished much of anything. Always started, never finished.

As dumb as it may sound, this thread was a turning point for me, and the start of some of the best years of my life. Some of my best friends that I've ever known have come out of this very community. I feel compelled to set things right and finish my silly story, for better or worse. We'll see how it goes.

Stay beautiful."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577718 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)17:04:43")

">>32577662
Greetings Shermanator. I'm new. Started lurking mid to late 2016 and actively posting mid 2017. No writing though. I fear I lack the skills let alone the time. Anyway, I look forward to seeing what you produce. Should I read what's already written or wait for the re-write?"
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32577906 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)17:46:53")

">>32577718
Please do not. If it's any indication, I have always considered myself the Akira Toriyama of AiE. That's probably not going to change, because the only thing I feel comfortable writing is action scenes. Some comedy here and there.

Only difference this time around is that I plan to write it better and more clearly. The previous stuff is a train wreck of plot holes and all around Badness.

I have some plans for other stories if this works out, but I would certainly ask anyone to please not hunt down my previous work. Both to keep me from being embarrassed, and you from wasting your time."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577931 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)17:51:52" && image=="cry.jpg")

">>32577662
>Wake up
>Bath
>Eat
>Work
>Go home
>/mlp/
>see "Shermanator"
Welcome back."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32577948 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)17:57:02")

">>32577906
>the Akira Toriyama of AiE.
Okay then. Well, you've gotten practice and I hope to read what you produce in the (hopefully) near future."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32578631 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)21:13:08" && image=="implying thumbs.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32579196 && dateTime=="06/29/18(Fri)23:40:22")

">>32577906
>I have always considered myself the Akira Toriyama of AiE
So the way to get you back for good is to make sub-par sequels to your work without your name until you get fed up with it and do it how you want?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32579282 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)00:15:24")

">>32577906
>I have always considered myself the Akira Toriyama of AiE.
well, at least you've kept your humility"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32579662 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)02:46:16" && image=="3maKF6c.png")

">>32579282
I never bothered with any 'Oh snap' images, so here, have a cocky Trixie. Because that burn was delicious."
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32579714 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)03:07:26")

">>32579282
Let me just be clear before anyone gets the wrong idea: I didn't mean that as anything particularly good. I'm fully aware that my story back in the day was fight scenes strung together with thinly veiled excuses for them to occur.

I'm eager to get back to green. But I'm also eager to make the story more palatable."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32579755 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)03:29:05" && image=="1528902345936.gif")

">>32579714
The end to this show is getting near. Free me."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32580277 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)10:06:10")

">>32579714
Who are you? I’m not familiar with your work."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32580280 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)10:07:07")

">>32579755
No."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32581210 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)15:03:52")

"Why? Why are they coming back now that the end is near? Do they feel it, is it some sort of sixth sense? I don't want it all to end, I want them all back so it doesn't have to end, but at the same time I want it to be quick, I don't want a corpse of what once was to be danced infront of me.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32581441 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)15:44:01")

">>32581210
The show might end, as all shows eventually do. But I don't think that'll stop people from being fans."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32581728 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)16:45:17")

">>32581210
Because fuck you that's why."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32582910 && dateTime=="06/30/18(Sat)21:36:47" && image=="lol.png")

">>32581210
>doompaulers still at it"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32583472 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)00:24:21")

">>32581210
The show ended six years ago. We've all been in Weekend at Bernie's mode since then."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32583904 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)02:37:51" && image=="file.png")

">>32581210
Part of the thread, part of the green.

Part of the thread, part of the green.

Part of the thread, part of the green."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32584141 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)04:34:21")

">>32581728
Literally why I do anything."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32584176 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)05:02:42" && image=="1401907049340.gif")

">>32506204
god damn, people still use irc? i mean, that's alright, but is there a link to a working chat room?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32584200 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)05:18:42")

">>32584176
8th will add you to the Skype chats if you add and ask him, but every other chat has failed for some reason or another."
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32584243 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)05:49:58")

">>32584200
That's unfortunate. My skype accounts got hacked. There a discord or something?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32584263 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)05:58:49")

">>32584243
The Skype and IRC are it. Apparently nobody used the Discord."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32584269 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)06:01:44")

">>32584243
The Discords never end up working out because no one's been able to get everyone to switch over to it. Some people use Discord for personal accounts, but there's no group chat on it. You might just have to make another account, not that that's hard."
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32584310 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)06:14:18")

">>32584269
I suppose so. I'll get on that when I get home."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32585085 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)11:44:20" && image=="1400991587514.png")

"alright, after about an hour of looking for rizon IRC alternatives and cross referencing already made channels, i managed to build a working link to the IRC.

https://client00.chat.mibbit.com/?server=irc.rizon.net&channel=%23%2Fmlp%2FAiE"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32585757 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)14:37:19")

"Alright, we shall continue right from where we left off.

>>32556332

>You had somewhat hoped that this would be a private adventure, but you couldn’t help but tell Rarity you were going to the capital for a few days.
>She, of course, was planning a second shop there, and so had suggested that she come along.
>As the difficulty in keeping secrets grows quadratically more difficult with respect to the number of people who know said secret, somehow Applejack and Rainbow Dash had heard about the trip the now three of you were undertaking, and elected to come as well.
>They presumably told Fluttershy and Pinkie, and so now the six of you are waiting on the platform with your human companion, who looks somehow more morose than usual, with a grey pallid complexion and slight glower perfectly matching the tone of the foggy sky.
>The black locomotive slowly squeals to a stop, spewing steam from its valves and passengers from the doorways at its brief stop while your party in turn boards into the warmly-lit carriage, grabbing a fairly large compartment for the seven of you.
>Anonymous takes a seat across from you and pulls a book, one of many the two of you had brought for the trip, from his bag.
>The two of you had brought a small library of reading: you some of the new books you had received from the Royal Library over the past few weeks, and him textbooks on magic.
>“He always looks so sad,” Fluttershy whispers to you.
>“Probably because he doesn’t have anyone who cares about him,” Rarity adds, at about the same volume. “He’s very polite, but just always… distant.”
>You nod.
“He’s trying,” you say. “But it’s hard for him.”
>“How do you know that?” Applejack asks.
“Well, I know the first part. I’m guessing the second.”
>She grimaces.
>“I just don’t know how you can trust him,” Applejack says. “Especially after -”
>“I can hear you, you know,” Anonymous says, looking up from his book.
>“Y-yeah? Well, it’s the truth!” Applejack says."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32585759 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)14:37:50")

">>32585757

>You furrow your brow.
>“That seems a bit odd,” Anonymous says. “Did you never consider to write her a letter?”
“To be perfectly honest, I kind of… forgot about her. I was meeting so many new people and going on so many adventures that it just fell out of my mind. When I did remember, something always came up that distracted me.”
>“And she never wrote to you?” he asks.
“If she did, I never received her messages.”
>You frown.
>“So you would like me to put the pieces of your friendship back together.”
“Well, that’s one part. The other is for you to make friends with her.”
>“Can you at least give me her name?”
“Nope! You’ll need to ask for it. The first step to making friends is a good introduction and learning each other’s name.”
>“Very well. I suppose this is an examination.”
>You gaze out the window at the rapidly passing farmland.
“For all I know the two of you may hit it off. If I remember correctly, she was working on something similar to you, though obviously missing the weak and strong interactions and from a different approach. She was trying to make an observation of some effect or something. I can’t exactly remember. I haven’t read anything she’s published in months. I also haven’t seen anything new from her.”
>“Strange,” Anonymous remarks, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Doubly strange that you never mentioned it before now or showed me any of her papers.”
“She doesn’t account for any of the physics you know of,” you explain. “Already from what you’ve taught me I know that they’re incomplete.”
>“Fair,” he says, nodding and returning to his book.
>At that moment, you notice the title: “How to Make Friends with Others.”"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32585761 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)14:38:21")

">>32585759

>Twilight leads you down a dark alley, a trickle of water running down a shallow trough in the center.
“Are you certain that she still lives here?” you ask, stepping around a grey puddle.
>“I don’t think she’s moved. If so, then we can ask to where,” Twilight says.
>Wooden arched door after wooden arched door passes you by, until Twilights stops by one with a wrought iron placard bearing the number 41.
>“This is it,” she says.
>You look at her briefly, then reach a clenched hand towards the door and sharply pound five times on the hard oak.
>The door does not react to your knocking in any meaningful way for several minutes, so you try again.
After a few moments, you remark to Twilight, “Have you considered the possibility she isn’t at home?”
>At that, the door opens to reveal a cream-coated unicorn with knotted crimson hair dressed in a shaggy grey wool sweater.
>She briefly furrows her brow at you, then notices Twilight and narrows her eyes.
>“What are you doing here?” she says, her words coated in acid. “And why have you brought this thing?”
>You clear your throat.
“My name is Anonymous -”
>“Oh, great. It can talk. What do you want? I’m busy.”
“I don’t actually want anything in particular at this moment. Twilight has made it my assignment to make you my friend, but that seems more to be something that is decided mutually.”
>She blinks twice.
“I suppose some other explanation is in order. I am a human from another universe. I am studying magic so that I may better understand it and use it to return to my home. I -”
>As you say this, her eyes continuously grow in size and her already long frown gets increasingly pained, until her upper lip curls and she slams the door shut.
“- well,” you say. “I didn’t even manage to get her name.”
>You look at Twilight for a moment, shrug, then again rap on the door five times.
>Muffled from behind the door, you hear, “If you don’t leave, I’m going to call the city guard.”"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32585765 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)14:38:52")

">>32585761

“That is an empty threat,” you reply, loud enough that you think the unicorn can hear you through the door. “We have not done anything that would constitute a crime, and I doubt that anyone would arrest Princess Celestia’s personal student or a being from an alternate reality.”
>“It’s not about arresting, it’s about making you go away!”
>You think.
“If Twilight left,” you say, “Then could we speak?”
>The door is silent while its occupant prepares her response.
>Twilight raises an eyebrow.
>“Fine,” she says.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” you say to Twilight.
>“This isn’t a good idea,” Twilight says. “What if something goes wrong?”
“I have a plan.”
>You wave her off towards the entrance to the alley, and she slowly walks away.
“She’s gone,” you shout to the door, which slowly opens again.
“Good, so we have established that your quarrel is not with me, but with Twilight.”
>“That’s a bit presumptive,” she says. “You’re already wasting my time.”
“To the contrary. I expect this to be a very productive partnership. You see, Twilight has sent me here to make friends and mend her relationship with you. I, however, see a different goal.”
>“And what would that be?” the unicorn asks sourly.
“Before we can continue, I require your name.”
>“Moondancer.”
“Very good. Now, from my understanding, you were working on a Grand Unifying Theory that includes magic. I have been working on the same project as a means to return to my home universe.”
>“How do you know that?” Moondancer asks, her eyes narrowed.
“Twilight -”
>“Oh, of course,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Listen, I stopped working on that theory months ago. There’s no way to make gravity, electromagnetism, and the Grand Law of Magic work together.”
“To the contrary. I have found a possible solution. However, I now need an experiment to test it.”
>You interlace your fingers.
“That is where you come in.”"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32585774 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)14:41:19")

">>32585765

And that's all for this week. Sorry it's not as substantial as last week, but I didn't get as much time to work on it as I hoped. I will be gone next week fighting Nazis on the beach, so I may not get a chance to update, though I do get the 4th off so who knows what might happen. The pastebin has also been updated, you can find it in >>32556422."
;


if(Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn && title=="" && postNumber==32585879 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)15:11:57" && image=="hello.gif")

"Hi, guys!

How have you been?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32586015 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)15:48:57" && image=="2b8.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32586260 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)16:55:23")

">>32585879
Been pretty good. Yourself?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32586848 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)19:17:10")

">>32585774
Wow, two updates in a year, what's the occasion."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32587209 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)20:55:34")

">>32586848
Your balls dropped"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32587231 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)21:00:25" && image=="Doodle Dash.gif")

">>32585879

Staring blankly at my story as if doing so will suddenly make writing happen."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32587309 && dateTime=="07/01/18(Sun)21:19:39")

">>32585774
Am I stupid or there seems to be a disconnect between these two posts.

>>32585757
>>32585759

Missing post?"
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32588134 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)00:34:33")

">>32587309
Shit, you're right. It's supposed to say:

>“Y-yeah? Well, it’s the truth!” Applejack says.
>Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity shoot her a trio of disapproving looks.
>Rainbow Dash is, rather similarly, distracted by a book.
>“I feel that is a question only Twilight can answer,” he says, casting his gaze on you.
>Yours eyes shift from him to Applejack.
“I don’t trust him. Not entirely,” you say cooly. “But I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to genuinely want to improve, perhaps as a challenge.”
>“Which reminds me,” he says. “You’ve told me very little about who we are meeting, for one.”
“You’re right.”
>You sigh, composing your thoughts before you begin to explain.
>The other five members of your party slowly return to their own separate conversations.
“Before I moved from the capital I had a small group of… not really friends, but colleagues, who I studied with. I had known one of them since I was very young. It was her birthday when I was told I needed to move to Ponyville to complete my studies. Following that, I never spoke to her again.”

Sorry about that. It's right in the Pastebin because I just copied it all directly.

Fucking post limits, ruining my stories."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32588171 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)00:49:40" && image=="bry.png")

">>32529707
>not again, brynjolf"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32588386 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)01:54:34" && image=="7B8B4F70-D04A-4163-9AA3-8654065157D5.jpg")

">>32558518
Where’s the next update, fucker? You think you can just come back and update one of my favorite greens and then disappear again? I don’t think so, motherfucker. Get back to writing."
;


if(Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn && title=="" && postNumber==32588814 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)05:10:26" && image=="sad apple.gif")

">>32586260
Pretty meh as fuck, thanks!

>>32587231
Don't worry, Anon, I'm in the same situation. Except, I don't have a story. Or life."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32589379 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)10:45:09")

">>32588814
tfw when I'm just lazy as fuck"
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32589869 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)13:28:54")

">You're camping in the Whitetail Woods with your friends. They've all turned in for the night, except for Pinkie
>"Nonners."
>"Yes Pinkie?"
>"Tell me a bedtime story."
>Your only response is to raise a questioning eyebrow, The People's Eyebrow. As sole human all trademarks and copyrights for human intellectual properties reverted to you.
>She gives you the puppy eyes.
>"Please? Cause your so big and tall and stuff, it makes me feel like I'm a little filly again sometimes."
>Well that's an interesting little factoid. Most ponies only come up to your waist, this might be why Celestia is always pulling that motherly vibe.
>"Ok then little filly." You boop her on the nose. "What kind of story would you like?"
>Pinkie disappears in a puff of dust only to reappear a second later, snuggled up in a sleeping bag.
>"On the Rock Farm most of the bedtime stories were about rocks and rocks don't party or do heroic things. Most of the time."
>Scratching your beard thoughtfully, because razors don't exist here and you don't want to try shaving with a knife, you try to think of a suitable tale.
>"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."
>"Nonners? What's a hobbit?"
>"It's a very short human with big feet and no shoes.""
;


if(He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria && title=="" && postNumber==32589877 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)13:31:19")

">>32589869
-----------
>"Nonny, why did the hobbits not like the wizard? He wasn't disturbing anypony."
>"The hobbits didn't like adventures and the wizard liked to send people on adventures."
>"I'm not sure I like these hobbits, what kind of pony doesn't like adventure!"
>Ponk squirms in her sleeping bag as if she's trying to jump for joy while trapped.
-----------
>"Then the flaming dragon swooped over the water and exploded in a multitude of golden bursts."
>"Non non, can we have a firework party when we get back to Ponyville?"
>"Well that's up to you Pink, you're the party pony afterall."
>"Oh right. Thanks Nonny."
>"I think I'll end the story there for tonight."
>"Thanks Nonners, I'll try not to interrupt so much next time."
>"That's okay Ponk." You can stand a bit of Twilighting from your friends now and again.
>You boop her once on the nose. "Goodnight Pinkie."
>>32569004
More pls. Despite writing wacky shit a lot of the time, I really like the down to earth stories."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32590455 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)15:41:34")

">>32585879
Tired, fuck travel."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32591233 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)18:22:09")

">>32579714
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ALIVE."
;


if(The Shermanator !!NuNkmjHQiN0 && title=="" && postNumber==32591356 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)18:56:16" && image=="1512889129260.png")

">>32591233
I am. Sadly, I decided to approach my rewrite in a different way and scrapped what I had before. I'm almost done with a chapter, but work needs me in two hours early tonight.

As such, I will not get a chapter out tonight. But it should be ready tomorrow."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32591630 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)20:02:05" && image=="1501237329333.png")

">>32588814

How to write?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592338 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)22:43:42")

">>32591630
>Go to ponevill
>find twoplot
>fug twoplot
>oh no she has peni and balls

There's that's how you make a story."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592649 && dateTime=="07/02/18(Mon)23:59:16")

">>32592338
So easy to drop too!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592943 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)01:22:44")

"Just wrote 1740 words to a now 17.4k word story that is likely only half to two-thirds of the way finished. How much is too much? I know Tyko's walls of text were singular chapters, but this is just one large story so it shouldn't be as annoying, right?";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592945 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)01:24:27")

">>32592943
>Just wrote 1740 words to a now 17.4k word story that is likely only half to two-thirds of the way finished. How much is too much? I know Tyko's walls of text were singular chapters, but this is just one large story so it shouldn't be as annoying, right?

It's too long when the story threads stop being interesting or derail the central plot."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592957 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)01:29:35")

">>32592945
>derail the central plot.
Can't speak for being disinteresting because I'm really trying, but all the plot points are relevant in a developing relationship and the over-arching storyline since I'm giving a very specific timeframe in which the story is taking place so there can't be too much tomfoolery."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32592966 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)01:32:40")

">>32592957
You're probably fine. It's not like you're making Robert Jordan blush at 35,000 words."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32593175 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)02:59:08")

">>32591356
Who are you and what were you writing?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32593633 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)07:07:39" && image=="1372950089326.png")

if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593818 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:49:17" && image=="1304355__safe_artist-colon-buttersprinkle_twilight+sparkle_-dot--dot--dot-_adorkable_alicorn_blushing_book_bookhorse_buttersprinkle+is+trying+to+murder.png")

"Finally wrote the ending to A Word of Caution Pastebin Link for those who need a refresher https://pastebin.com/an8K3ABh

>"I met him once in the Everfree and I guess he just followed me home one day," the words of Applebloom surface in your find from a far off recollection.
>Due to the fact there was a strange and unknown intelligent creature with who knows what intentions at the time being, you never gave the story too much thought. Plus, it was the Everfree. Even now no pony has fully explored it or made a complete catalogue of every plant and creature hiding in there. But there's too little information there so now you intend to set that record straight.
>As you wander up to the farm you begin searching for Apple looking through the trees and peering around the house for any sign of her. Then, a little out of breath, she whizzes around the corner of the barn and nearly collides with you.
>"Twilight?" The surprised farm filly stammers.
"Hi Applebloom, how are you?"
>"Good, has Anon got a lesson?" She asks while staring into the sky with the expression of lacking recollection.
"No," you shake your head and smile, "I was hoping talking to you about--"
>"IT," shouts Anon as he extends one finger to prod Applebloom's rump.
>He stops the game immediately then straightens up at the sight of you.
>"Thank Twilight," he grins.
"Hello Anonymous."
>"Anon, I gotta talk to Twilight for a bit. Maybe go see if Big Mac or Granny needs anything."
>He nods then turns to leave in search for another Apple family member when Applebloom grabs his attention.
>"But first," she thrusts a hoof into his shin rather harder but it doesn't seem to bother the creature, "You're It, and now our game is on pause."
>He laughs at the cheekiness, even chuckles a little before leaving.
>"Now, what did you want to talk about?""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593822 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:50:23" && image=="1317037__safe_artist-colon-captainpudgemuffin_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_blue+mane_blushing_captainpudgemuffin+is+trying+to+murder+us_chest+fluff_cute_di.png")

""It's about Anonymous."
>"You ain't gettin' paranoia on us again?"
"What?"
>"Paranoid?" She corrects herself, a touch embarrassed.
"That's the one but no, it's not that. I swear."
>Applebloom gives it some thought, she doesn't particularly examine you but rather seems to be thinking inwardly on something before deciding with a nod. Then she gestures for you to follow her into the barn.

>Inside the barn you notice Anon's belongings have been moved to a reinforced upstairs of the barn.
>"Applejack thought it'd give him a bit more privacy, upstairs is just for him."
>You smile, then notice the proper mattress and blanket up there and smile a little wider. The Apple family really do care for him.
>"Sis was saying," Applebloom offhandedly remarks while pushing two bales of hay to sit on, "She was going to ask you to give him some more lessons cause the farm work will be slowing down soon."
"I'd like that. I imagine Anon would too."
>"So, what did you want to talk about?"
You clear your throat and adjust uneasily in your seat, "it's about how you two first met."
>"Well, everypony knows that already--"
"Somehow, I don't think they do."
>Applebloom stops and stares at you, a deadpan expression on her face so as not to betray her thoughts. And then, she smiles.
>"How do you know that?"
>Inside you breathe a little sigh of relief. You had some suspicions but nothing real. And even if you are right or wrong, most folks would be offended at being called out like that.
"Anon, in his own way, is distant."
>"Couldn't that just the language problem?" Applebloom flashes a very knowing grin.
"No, even now with his broken language skills, he isn't the type to just befriend and follow around any pony."
>"But how do you know?"
You shrug, "It's a guess. That's all I really can do after all, Anonymous really is a creature of... Anonymity.""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593825 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:51:27" && image=="1305855__safe_artist-colon-1trick_spike_twilight+sparkle_frown_glare_open+mouth_raised+hoof_reaction+image_scroll_smiling_smug_unamused_vulgar.png")

">"Well, for that pun I'm not sure I should tell you," she laughs but doesn't leave a pause in her sentences, "You're right. I met Anon a long time before he came to Ponyville."
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
>This time Applebloom shrugs, "It just made it easier. Plus I'd get in a lot of trouble for going into the Everfree as much as I did. Never mind that it's fine now just so long as I take Anon with me."
"So, what was it like? The first time you met, that is."
>"About as you might expect. I was walking in the Everfree, exploring and looking for unique plants that we might be able to grow. Then I got near the Princess' old castle and I thought I'd go have a look, no real reason why. Just a whim. And there was Anon, looking at things and making little notes in his book."
"And when he saw you?"
>"I scared him something fierce, he musta thought I was a manticore or something. Then he composed himself and I think he thought I was some kind of friendly animal cause he tried to hand feed me some grass. And when I told him I'm not eating out of your dirty paws, he got an even bigger scare."
>The image of Anon falling and flailing over little Applebloom gives you a little chuckle and you notice all the reminiscing has brought a smile to Applebloom too.
>"He set to work right away trying to talk, sharing a few words by like... Pointing at a tree then he'd say his word for it then I'd say ours. We didn't get far. Just enough to greet each other and point things out when we went exploring. Every time he'd write in his book until..."
>Her face stiffens and it's a little hard to discern what exactly is going on in her head. And being the worrywart that you are, your mind spins and whirrs with possibilities. Did something bad happen? Is she just not sure what happened next? Was she about to reveal something she'd rather hide? And then before you can come up with more, Applebloom continues."
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593828 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:52:30" && image=="1460857__safe_artist-colon-bobdude0_twilight+sparkle_adorkable_armpits_book_bookhorse_cute_dork_female_filly_filly+twilight+sparkle_levitation_magic_po.png")

">"He kind of stopped trying to talk, we'd wander around a bit or just hang out at his camp. I wasn't really sure what was going on in his head obviously so I thought maybe," she shrugs, "He might want some alone time."
"How often were the two of you spending time together?"
>"Most days. Sometimes I couldn't make it out there or was only there to see him for a little while."
"And how long did you leave him alone for?"
>"Bit more than a week, I think... Applejack wanted some extra help on the farm anyway, so I used that as an excuse really."
"Was that when--"
>"He showed up on the farm?" Applebloom nods, "Yeah, Anon came looking for me. I guess it was his turn to give me a fright. Granny saw him first and kicked up a whirlwind. She thought him some kind of beast, nearly attacked him with a jar she was cleaning for the zap apples."
>She laughs at the memory while you recall the rest of the story from AJ's perspective. He showed up and was friendly, especially to Applebloom. They let the two eat and hang out in the barn for a while before Applebloom came out and asked for him to be allowed to stay.
"Who brought up the idea of Anon staying?" You ask, eyeing her carefully.
>"I did."
"How did you know he'd want to?"
>"Well... I didn't really."
"I'm just wondering when HE decided to stay."
>"Oh, well, I tried to use his word for home or camp. He seemed to get it."
"Then--"
>"You know, Twilight," she interrupts with a sideways glance and grin, "There is someone else you could be asking if you want to understand how Anon thinks."
"Who?" Your face blank as you didn't realise who she would say until just after you asked.
>"Anon."
>You shake your head and then look away to dismiss the idea entirely.
>"How often do you two talk in your lessons?"
"Heaps.""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593830 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:53:33" && image=="1576793__safe_artist-colon-lilboulder_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_cute_dialogue_dissonant+caption_female_folded+wings_looking+at+you_mare_open+mouth_pony_.png")

">"Really? Cause we've been talking quite well recently, and you know what?"
"What?"
>"He knows hello. He knew it since he and I were first trying to communicate."
>In a rising swell of anger, your eyes narrow as you examine every detail on her face. Her grin grows wider to the point of creasing her face and she lets out the tiniest, briefest laugh. And as you finish looking over her expression you find nothing to suggest she is lying. Which only makes the anger grow.
"He was messing with me?"
>Applebloom, still smiling all the while, simply replies with a nod.

-----
"Where is Anon?" You ask the wildly grinning Applebloom.
>"Up in the far west field, where the cows usually graze."
>As you get up, Applebloom remains seated. She watches you leave and you wish she would have actually came with you. This way you'd have someone or something to focus on. You could carry on the conversation or even just pay very close attention to the smug grin she had. At least that way your mind would have something to stew on and wouldn't be alone with itself.
>"He was mocking me."
>"Thank Twilight, yeah, thank thick-headed Twilight. That's what he really meant."
>"Anon was just laughing at my expense. Silly, stupid Twilight."
>And other similar thoughts echo through your mind over and over. They seem to feed off one another as you get closer to the field so you're practically ready to burst the second you get there.
>Once you arrive near the herd, you notice they've all gathered around something. In the centre of it looks to be Applejack, Granny, and Anon. Pushing past, and a little shoving, you get to the commotion where one of the cows in on her side. In labour. Anon looks to be up to his elbows inside guiding the calf in its birth."
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593832 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:54:42" && image=="1578254__safe_artist-colon-n0nnny_edit_editor-colon-damaged_twilight+sparkle_-colon-3_animated_blep_blushing_blush+sticker_cheek+fluff_close-dash-up_cu.gif")

">"Hey Twilight," says Applejack as she leads you back a bit, "Gertie here was having a bit of trouble, seems her poor little calf was coming out backwards. And a little slowly, which can mean all sorts of trouble. We were about to send for Dr. Fauna or maybe even Fluttershy but Anon here seems to know what he is doing. Those arms come in real handy, look."
>You do. And wish you hadn't. The look of all the slime, ooze, and mucus unsettles your stomach and you dry heave. Even looking away doesn't help as you've already burned the image deeply into your mind.
>"Oh, don't be like that Twi', birthing is as natural as it gets."
>Gertie lets out a groan as she tries to push the calf and curiosity betrays you. You look and it sets off the dry heaving again. AJ rolls her eyes at you. Then the two of you wait patiently in silence. Even the cows wait with bated breath until the final push.
>A few of the cows shove through to begin licking the newborn calf. Applejack is quick to grab and lead you out of the enclosing herd where Anon joins you. You're about to fire back up again when you notice all the... stuff is still all over his arms. It's even on his shirt, pants, and shoes. Anon kneels down with an expression of worry, he even puts a gooey hand on your withers. Which deals the final blow to your already unstable gut. As you free yourself of breakfast, Anon cleans himself off with a nearby bucket of water.
"Please don't ever, ever touch me with something like that again," you croak and shudder.
>"Could Anon talk to Twilight?"
"Of course," you reply before realising he was actually talking to Applejack.
>"Of course," she repeats.
>There's a moment of silence as she walks away but once she disappears into the tree line, your eyes meet with Anon's for the first time. Just as you are looking him over, his eyes seem to be doing the same to you.
"What did you want to talk about?" You ask, finally cutting into the silence."
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593834 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:55:44" && image=="1607626__safe_artist-colon-catzino_twilight+sparkle_abstract+background_eyes+closed_female_mare_pony_smiling_solo_trotting_unicorn.png")

">"Applebloom?"
"We talked, about you. But I think you knew that."
>Anon just tilts his head with an expression of curiosity. And you remark to yourself how once upon a time his face was so foreign to you that his expressions always seemed a little off. But now that you've seen him every single day, it's as plain as the muzzle on your own face.
"For one thing, 'thank Twilight'."
>As if to add insult to the injury, he laughs. Loudly. He throws his head back to send the bellowing chuffs into the sky as his belly shakes with the effort.
>"Thank was... not understand."
"A misunderstanding."
>He nods, "But was fun."
>As takes a seat in front of you he also chuckles a little more. Yet the laughter is nothing more than innocent happiness. You sigh and shake your head at yourself as you think how Anon wasn't the only one misunderstanding.
>"Sorry."
"It was just a joke," you immediately reply in order to dismiss the apology, "Nothing wrong with that."
>"No. Sorry for no talking. Anon and Twilight."
>"I'm sorry too," you answer as you too sit down on the soft grass with Anonymous, "I should have tried pushing conversation over learning in recent days."
>You look away slightly, a little embarrassed with yourself.
"But," you add, "Your speech has progressed great. Still broken but you're very easy to understand now."
>"Apples helped... Twilight?"
"Yes?"
>"Can we talk?"
"Of course, what about?" you ask eagerly.
>"Anonymous."
"About you? You want to talk about you?"
>"Yes."
"I want nothing more, but... Why now?"
>Anon gives your question some thought. His face hardens like stone as he looks for the words then he takes a deep breath and begins.
>"Afraid.""
;


if(8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 && title=="" && postNumber==32593837 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)08:56:47" && image=="1418853557399.jpg")

">The single word is so final and broad of an answer that it takes you a moment to catch on.
"Of what?"
>"Of here. I... Did not want it to be home."
"I don't understand."
>"Anonymous... I was afraid that... If all knew then this would be home."
"You didn't want to get attached?"
>"Yes. But I think... I am ready to be known."
"Then why me?"
>"Remember book?"
>You nod vigorously as the possibilities of its contents have plagued your mind so often that it's impossible to forget THAT book.
>"It is my... book of you."
"Me?"
>He nods, "And Apples, and all ponies."
>Then it is your turn to throw your head back and laugh into the sky above. Based on what you heard from Applebloom, it seemed the obvious explanation but even then you didn't expect it. Even though he is an alien, you can't help but laugh as the similarities. The both of you were making notes on one another, trying to learn to communicate, and all the while you never got around to having any conversation that would answer any questions.
>"I want Twilight to know. Twilight is..."
>His face creases as he struggles to find the word. You lean forward in anticipation and try to fight back the urge to give possibilities in fear that would influence his answer.
>"Twilight is help... Twilight gave Anonymous words and words make Anonymous able to make here... Home."
>He smiles at you warmly which you return in earnest.
>"Thank Twilight."
"Hello Anonymous," you reply, somehow unable to resist the urge or even stop yourself before the words escape you. But Anon laughs, and you join in.
>The two of you laugh for a little while then let silence fill the space between you for a moment. Only the cows off in the distance mooing softly in celebration of welcoming a new calf into the herd can be heard. Then Anon takes a deep breath and begins to speak with a smile.
>"My real name is..."

---END---

https://pastebin.com/an8K3ABh @Line 908"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32594170 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)11:21:12" && image=="1527955318256.gif")

">>32593837
good shit"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32594984 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)15:18:10")

">>32593837
What >>32594170 said. Thank you for creating and sharing 8th."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32595804 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)17:42:04" && image=="1475235890849.png")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32596668 && dateTime=="07/03/18(Tue)21:42:40")

">>32593837
Oh hey. I remember this. Nice to see an ending. We don't get many of those."
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32597457 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)02:13:06")

">>32588386
Wow, one of your favorite greens, really? Lmao you need to read more.

...ok seriously though, that means a lot honestly. I never expected something I wrote to be anyone's favorite except maybe MY favorite kek

I am working on it, I promise, I'm just kinda slow, mostly because I spend more time editing than writing but I really like this story, I'm not dropping it anytime soon... and I won't disappear for 6 months then drop 29 fucking posts again, I'll update more frequently."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32597640 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)03:44:04")

">>32592338
>peni
are you implying she has more than one penis, sir?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32597743 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)04:38:13" && image=="best job ever.jpg")

if(Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn && title=="" && postNumber==32597933 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)06:59:13" && image=="Angry Dash.png")

">>32589379
Same, bro...

>>32591630
WHO ARE YOU?! I'M ASKING YOU WHO ARE YOU?!!
>Roseluck
HAWK?!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598509 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)12:24:49")

">>32597933
Eh, maybe I'll do an thing today since I'm off and ain't doing shit outside till dark.
>98 degrees american
>98% humidity"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598586 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)12:54:20")

">>32598509
I too live in the south"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598634 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)13:06:35" && image=="1502680192111.jpg")

">>32597933

Write, you ferret fuck. <3

>>32598509
>>32598586

I'm so glad I left the Midwest for Arizona.
It's a dry heat."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598761 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)13:44:57")

">>32597457
Good. I appreciate that you actually edit your posts. A lot of people just write and drop, which is why so many writefags have tons of spelling, grammar, and structural errors. Putting in that extra effort is what separates the mediocre from the good."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598846 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)14:08:44" && image=="Phoenix.jpg")

">>32598634
I miss Glendale but then I remember never being sweaty because I was on fire.
Sucks just as much as Illinois, it's just a different kind of suck.
I miss my rights tho :(
"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32598865 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)14:13:15")

">>32598846
I'm up north, in Coconino County. It's the same temps as the Midwest, maybe a little hotter, but so much drier. Northern AZ is awesome."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32599101 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)15:00:17")

">>32598865
I'd love to move to Flagstaff."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32599475 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)16:38:09" && image=="1506112679279.png")

">>32525527
Kek"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32599644 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)17:24:19")

">>32525527
>Woona
>offended and frightened by the Moonwalk
Who could have anticipated such a thing?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32600610 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)22:28:25")

"We need more story.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32600623 && dateTime=="07/04/18(Wed)22:31:02")

">>32600610
What would you like the story to be about?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32600974 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)00:38:36")

">>32600623
Poni"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32600983 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)00:40:32")

">>32600623
Anon talking to an invisible camera like he was on cops while he goes around writing citations to ponies that are too adorable."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32601037 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)01:02:32")

">>32600623
Anon, who just had a heart attack after his dark past was revealed."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32601670 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)07:04:22")

if(Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn && title=="" && postNumber==32601694 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)07:27:32" && image=="Spoiler Image")

">>32598634
Why, tho?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32602598 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)14:03:56" && image=="3d women are not important.jpg")

"";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32603275 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)17:19:35" && image=="1483777752062.png")

">>32601694

Why is Anon always alone, Fapples?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32603297 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)17:23:10")

">>32603275
>Why is Anon always alone, Fapples?
Because Anon is us."
;


if(Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn && title=="" && postNumber==32603317 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)17:26:31" && image=="roselucks.png")

">>32603275
HOW COULD I KNOW, HAWKEYE, HOW COULD I KNOW?!

>>32603297
Sounds legit. Give me an idea to write about for practice."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32603489 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)18:02:33")

">>32603317
Anon loves the pone"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32604109 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)20:35:04" && image=="1483742000340.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32604113 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)20:35:24")

">>32603317
>Sounds legit. Give me an idea to write about for practice.

I've got nothin', man."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32604647 && dateTime=="07/05/18(Thu)23:04:19")

">>32603317
Anon finds out that rainbow dash is a shipper. She has a book of all her OTPs for people in ponyville"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32605206 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)01:44:03")

">>32603297
Because Anon is a sex offender and is not allowed around children.
Except Sweetie Belle because no one really gives a shit if she gets molested."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32605280 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)02:06:59")

"Anyone remember the link to that one paste in full of synonyms for penis and vagina n' such? I'm trying to avoid using dongs too much.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32605452 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)03:04:28")

">>32605280
https://pastebin.com/dgw7wxfF"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32606304 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)10:27:51")

">>32506204
>Anon in Equestria
>but everyone thnks he's bigfoot"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32606751 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)12:51:50")

"Someone in RGRE mentioned "Anon rolls a zero". I found it to be a hard poke in the feels.

Bottlecap, if you lurk here, well done famalam, well done. Thank you for creating and sharing.

"Anon rolls a zero" by Bottlecap32
https://pastebin.com/S1GHszA8"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32607626 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)16:39:21")

">>32606751
Neato"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32607663 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)16:48:03")

">>32606751
That story belong "Kill yourself and Roll who gonna find my dead body" Thread
also
>RG**
They keep making prompt than writing a real story.."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32607770 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)17:16:22")

">>32607663
>kys thread
Ah, I see. I hadn't heard of it. I rarely visit the catalog anymore. RGM, AiE and RGRE are my main haunts.

>eternal prompts in RGRE
Greens picked up for a bit but it's more prompts again as of late. That or LaP's "mega prompt" ideas which feel more like incomplete one-shots. (Not that I'm complaining. Better than nothing 'n all.)"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32608176 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)18:43:25")

"Quick question, did Clarissa moved his green over here? I can't find it.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32608940 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)20:52:17" && image=="I kno bro.jpg")

">>32607770
>I rarely visit the catalog anymore
stay safe"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32608971 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)20:57:25")

">>32605452
jesus christ this is fucking hilarious"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32609033 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)21:11:31")

">>32606751
that's rough."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32609077 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)21:19:22")

">>32609033
jesus christ its rough"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32609104 && dateTime=="07/06/18(Fri)21:24:50")

">>32609033
>>32609077
Dubs of truth are checked as fuck because holy shit that's rough"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32610000 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)00:35:59")

"Zebra pussy";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32610007 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)00:37:16")

">>32610000
You're right. We need Zebra pussy."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32610764 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)06:05:13" && image=="large[1].png")

">You're Derpy Hooves.
>You're sitting on the couch at the house of your wonderful, awesome, super-nice, best friend Anon's house. You're watching his magical teevee box while you sip a soda that's resting on your belly.
>Well, technically you were watching the teevee box as well as the ceiling fan, but that was besides the point.
>Everything was going fine until your ear twitched and you heard something from outside.
>"Yeah, that weird monkey's in there with that weird mare with the eyes."
>"Let's just be glad that they're keeping amongst themselves."
>Your head sings down as you feel a familiar panging in your chest.
>Not everypony in town made fun of your eyes, but enough did that you really didn't have that many friends.
>There was Anon, and Carrot Top let you sleep on her couch sometimes...
>You sigh. In a kingdom built on friendship and harmony, having neither made you sort of feel like an outsider at best.
>A failure at worst.
"Hey Anon?"
>"Yeah Derps?" he asks, stuffing popcorn into his mouth.
"Should I uh, do something to fix my eyes?"
>"Why?" he asks.
"Well...it might make me fit in more, and be more approachable. I could stop being clumsy and just be a normal pony..."
>Anon is silent for what seems like a long time before he pats your head and hands you some popcorn with a smile.
>"You're my best friend, Derpy. I think you're perfect the way you are."
"Huh?"
>Anon pets your mane a bit. "Wouldn't change a thing, truth and honesty."
>You think a bit and realize that the voices outside might have had it right, you and Anon do stay together because you're both weird.
>But that also meant you both saw how weird you were and liked it.
>You giggle and lay back again, munching the popcorn.
"What'sh happening now?"
>"Well there's two brothers, in a van, and then a meteor hits, and they ran as fast as they could..."
>Anon talks while you think.
>In this town, there weren't many people who really got you, but there was at least one.
>And that was good enough for you."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32611703 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)12:24:14")

">>32610764
That's not zebra pussy...

nice little green though, thanks anon"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32611955 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)13:32:11")

">>32611703
nice repost, you mean"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32612109 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)14:04:02")

">>32611955
Eh, I'm a newfag, sue me."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32612914 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)17:05:03")

">>32611955
because there was soooo much else going on"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32612920 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)17:05:56")

">>32612109
They'll put you in horse prison for sure you monster."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32613293 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)18:43:30")

">>32612920
He gon get booped"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613418 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:13:56")

">>32558518
>You and Big Mac continue collecting apples until well after the sun sets.
>It takes about an hour to go through a cart of baskets, after which you and Big Mac head back to the farmhouse, dump every basket into their apple storage, then head back out into the orchard.
>By the second time you left the farmhouse with empty baskets, you were starting to get sore and, with Big Mac's permission, began riding the cart back and forth to rest.
>He barely even seemed to notice your extra weight among the thousand pounds of apples.
>By the fourth trip, your legs and shoulders were furious and you had loaded a bucket of water into the cart to drink and occasionally splash in your face.
>Big Mac had finally began to seem a bit sluggish.
>The sun went down as you approached the farmhouse for the fifth time, and by your sixth time returning, your entire body glowed with pain, but your lower back and ankles were filled with what felt like liquid hellfire.
>Big Mac finally asked you not to ride the cart and his head bobbed low as he strolled along.
>When you return with the seventh cart and finish dumping its apples into the storage bin, you toss the last empty basket into the cart and sit heavily on the ground.
"Mac... I can't go out there again. I'm dying, man."
>The stallion flops heavily to the ground, letting out a great sigh.
>"Hoped you'd say that two hours ago."
>You laugh weakly and gently lay your aching body on the ground.
"Coulda fuckin' said something... I only kept going cause you were."
>He nickers and you both just lay there on the ground.
>A few years later, Apple Bloom trots up.
>"There ya are. Y'all gonna come eat or what?"
>You laugh, then wince and groan at the resulting jolt of pain.
"If I can survive standing up, I'll eat everything you own."
>Apple Bloom giggles and trots back inside.
>Big Mac shuffles and slowly rises somewhere to your right.
1/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613421 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:14:59")

">>32613418
>He steps over to you and nudges your shoulder with a hoof.
>"C'mon ya colt, I'll help you up."
"Colt!?
>You swat his hoof away and focus on standing up, trying to groan as little as possible while your body ignites with fire anew.
>Having successfully climbed Mount Everhoof or whatever mountains are called here, you smile, poke his snout, and imitate his accent.
"I ain't needin' no help from no pony!"
>Turning, you take a wobbly step toward the farmhouse and stumble against the cart.
>Chuckling softly, Big Mac steps up next to you so you lean into him and start walking.
"'Course... this is fine though cause you're not a pony, you're a damn machine. How much can you carry, anyways?"
>"Not much more'n I just did."
"I meant all at once, on a good day."
>"Dunno. Ain't found nuthin' too heavy yet."
"You ought to get with Bulk Biceps, find out one day."
>You groan again as you reach out and open the farmhouse door.
>A sweet and savory smell envelops you and you see Granny Smith poke her head out from the kitchen.
>"There ya are! Git over 'ere, food oughta still be hot."
>You wobble over and collapse at the short dining table next to Applejack, wincing as you twist your arm into your back pocket for your utensils.
>Applejack turns to you, looking worried, "Anon... have you gone an' overworked yerself?"
>Before you can reply, Big Mac says, "Eyup."
>She gives the stallion a hard glare, "An' you let him!?"
>"Eh...yup."
>Her tail flicks and she opens her mouth, then her eyes dart to Apple Bloom across the table and she takes a slow breath first.
>"Mac, I know ya know better'n that. Doin' too much work one day means doin' not enough work for the next three while ya recover."
>He sighs and lowers his head, "Eyup... He hides it well, though. Didn't realize how tired he really was."
>He looks up at you, "Ya did good. Real good. Went a lot longer'n I expected, but AJ's right. No work for two days, at least."
2/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613426 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:16:01")

">>32613421
>You grin weakly at him.
"Can't say I'm sad to hear that, but what about you? You worked your... uh, tail off, too."
>Applejack touches your forearm with a hoof and you turn back to her.
>"Meanin' no offense, Anon, but earth ponies are already a lot stronger'n more durable than you, an' Mac 'n I are especially fit 'cause of how much work we do here on the farm. Tomorrow ya won't even be able to tell Mac was tired."
> Granny interrupts Applejack by thrusting her head between the two of you and growls, "If'n ya don't eat yer darn food in front o'ya, I'll make sure ya don't never recover."
>She cackles at your terrified expression and taps your cheek with a hoof, expression softening, "Relax, dearie, I'm jus' pullin' yer leg. Ah ain't 'bout to hurt the best thing's come to this farm since lil' Apple Bloom 'ere."
>Her hoof thrusts hard into your cheek and forces your head to turn to your plate, "But yer gonna eat right now or so help me I'll shove it down yer throat mahself!"
>The other three all laugh and Granny whips her head around, "That goes fer you too, McIntosh! Quit yer laughin'!"
>He shuts up and immediately buries his snout in his plate.
>Apple Bloom covers her muzzle with both hooves, trying to stifle her giggles.
>You pull out your fork and scoop up some of the sweet smelling mush.
"What is it?"
>You take a bite without waiting for an answer.
>Granny walks around the table to her own mostly-eaten plate and says, "Egg'n yam hashbrowns."
>You gasp and choke on your mouthful, coughing wretchedly, Applejack immediately rubbing your back.
>As the coughing fit subsides, you force out a few words.
"Eggs and ham?"
>Granny's ears swivel uncertainly, "Ham? Naw I said 'yam.' Y'know, sweet 'taters? What's ham?"
>Apple Bloom's ears perk, "Ah never heard o' ham. Is it good?"
3/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613432 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:17:04")

">>32613426
>Applejack chuckles, "Apple Bloom might be small, Anon, but she's got the appetite of a horse. If there's a new food out there, she'll be dyin' to try it."
>Well shit.
"Uh... it's uh... w-well..."
>You trail off and sit there, staring wide-eyed at your plate.
>Granny turns to Apple Bloom, "Junebug, would ya be a dearie an' fetch me my sweater from upstairs, please? These ol' bones get cold too easy."
>"Sure thing, Granny!" She hops up and trots away.
>As soon as she turns the corner, Granny leans over the table, "It's meat, innit?"
>Your jolt of surprise as you look up at her is all the answer she needs and she sits back down.
>Applejack asks, "Meat? Ya mean... meat meat? Like dead animal meat!?"
>You nod dumbly and Granny says, "Monkeys eat meat sometimes, Applejack. Thought a human like Anon, bein' somethin' close to a monkey might do as well."
>The old mare points a hoof in the direction the filly went, "She'll be a little while, my sweater ain't even up there. Any o'y'all wanna say somethin'?"
>After a beat, Applejack shakes her head, "Ponies can digest meat an' I heard some ponies actually do eat it, but I ain't never known someone that has. It's always seemed so..." she almost whispers the last word, "...wild."
>She lowers her head slightly and looks up at you, her face a mixture of fear and hunger... of fascination and disgust.
>Her ears swiveling nervously, she whispers, "...Is it good?"
>You look away to Granny and Big Mac, both looking mildly curious but mostly neutral.
>You turn back to Applejack's intense expression and lean close to whisper in her ear.
"Like you wouldn't believe. I miss it so bad."
>Her eyes widen, "What've you eaten?"
4/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613436 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:18:10")

">>32613432
>Still whispering, you begin naming animals, starting with animals that you're pretty sure are still dumb here in Equestria, uncertain how she'll take it.
"Shrimp, lobster, crab, alligator... a bunch of kinds of fish... chicken, turkey, duck..."
>When she doesn't react, you turn your head to watch her expression as you continue.
"Deer... pig... buffalo, sheep, and... and cows."
>Her eyes slowly widen and her mouth drops open, and at the word 'cow' she gasps and twitches her head back, turning to look you in the eyes.
>"You didn't!"
>Her tone is shocked, even hurt... but her eyes betray her burning desire.
>She drops back to a whisper, "W-What was your... your favorite?"
>You grin wickedly, conscious of how that shows off your canine teeth.
"Shrimp is pretty damn good, and I always loved turkey... but my favorite is cow."
>"Granny!?"
>At Apple Bloom's voice, Applejack jolts upright just as the filly trots into the room.
>You turn to your plate and try to nonchalantly continue eating.
>"Ah couldn' find yer sweater so ah brought you a blanket instead! Ah hope it'll be warm enough."
>"Oh, thank ye much, dearie. This's just right."
>Apple Bloom sits back at her plate, then looks up at Applejack, who is sitting very straight and staring blindly ahead.
>"Uh... y'all okay, sis?"
>Applejack jerks her head down to the filly, "Oh! Yeah, yeah, I'm just find an' dandy!" She forces a nervous laugh, "I'm, uh, purty tired though, so I'm gonna head upstairs and turn in. See y'all tomorrow mornin'!"
>She gets up and slowly hobbles out the kitchen and you wolf down a few more bites, trying to hurry so you can help her up the stairs.
>In your hurry, you forget your body hates you right now and try to stand too quickly.
>Your body locks up and you groan in pain halfway between sitting and squatting.
5/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613441 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:19:13")

">>32613436
>Big Mac scoots closer and wraps his hooves around your torso, supporting you as you slowly stand up.
"Applejack, wait! Don't you dare climb those stairs alone!"
>She calls back "Ah, go buck--"
>Granny snaps, "OY! Watch yer language, missy!"
>Apple Bloom stifles another giggle.
>"Fiiiiiine. C'mon, Anon. Let's hobble up the stairs together."
>...
>She wound up helping you up the stairs as much as you helped her.
>Fortunately, she was able to hop into bed by herself.
>You sit heavily on the edge of her bed, rub your face and yawn.
"Holy hell... I haven't been this tired in years... damn, and I'm gonna be even more stiff and sore when I wake up.
>She scoots over to sit next to you, "Where do you hurt the worst?"
"Yes."
>She pauses, then barks a short laugh, "Alright smart ass, where do you want me to start?"
>You turn to her, confused.
"Start?"
>She rolls her eyes and scoots behind you.
>You try to see what she's doing but you're way too stiff to look behind you.
"Wait, what're you--AH!"
>Something jabs into your shoulder, causing an explosion of pain, and you bend forward to get away.
"What the fuck! The hell was that?"
>Her head leans around you into view, "Uh... a massage?"
"For what, a tree?"
>Her ears turn back and she turns away, looking hurt, "Just tryin' to help. Ain't like I've had much practice..."
>Fuck's sake, she's almost as good at that pitiful face as Apple Bloom.
>It is so impossible to be angry at these damn ponies.
>You slowly sit back up and sigh.
"Ugh, sorry... you just surprised me, kinda freaked me out. You can try again if you want, just... be gentle, please. Very gentle."
>She still hesitates, "Uh... ya sure you want me to try again?"
"Yes. Honestly I would love a massage. Haven't had one since I came to Equestria and I've probably never needed one more."
>She quirks her mouth and nods, her head pulling out of sight behind you.
6/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613444 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:20:17")

">>32613441
>You twitch as a hoof lightly touches your back.
>In fact, so lightly you can barely even feel it.
>You chuckle.
"Okay, maybe a little less gentle."
>She digs her hoof in a bit, rubbing the top of your right shoulder near your neck.
>A groan escapes your lips and she immediately pulls her hoof back.
"...Huh? Wait, no, keep going, that felt incredible!"
>"But... that sounded like it hurt! If ya weren't, how am I 'sposed to know when to stop?"
>You laugh again.
"You're cute when you worry, but don't. Ease up if I move away from you or say something like 'wait' or 'stop,' but otherwise, holy shit please keep going."
>She pauses for a few seconds and you consider begging her to continue, then her hoof presses into the same spot.
>You grunt and your neck immediately relaxes, head flopping down to your chest.
>Save for your soft, uncontrollable moaning, the room is quiet for several minutes.
>Applejack stops suddenly and you heave your incredibly heavy head back upright.
"What's... oh, hey Big Mac."
>The stallion was standing in the open bedroom doorway, looking very awkward.
>"Uh... I... I was just wonderin' what y'all were doin'."
>Applejack snaps, "Git yer mind outta the manure, Mac! Shut the buckin' door and go to bed!"
>He snorts and mutters "Was Granny's idea..." as he closes the door.
>You turn your head as far as you neck will let you and can just barely see Applejack from the corner of your eye.
"What was that about?"
>She scoots away a little, "Never you mind. C'mere and lay down so I can massage ya better."
>You bring your knees up onto the bed so you can twist around more to face her.
"Look, I really appreciate you doing this, Applejack, but I should really be going. It's very late and I'm gonna doze off where I sit if I don't get going soon."
>She snorts, reaches out a hoof, and suddenly you're somehow lying face down onto her bed.
7/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613448 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:21:22")

">>32613444
>You lift your head off her pillow, sputtering.
"Wha--Applejack? I need to go home!"
>She brings her face very close to yours and says in a low growl, "You ain't goin' nowhere 'till I finish my massage. Got it?"
>...Now that's a face Apple Bloom had better not be good at.
"Uh... y-yes ma'am."
>She grins and presses your shoulder down until your head is on her pillow again, then she continues where she left off.
>"Honestly, Granny was probably just gonna make ya sleep in the guest bedroom anyways. Doubt she'd let you try an' walk home in this condition."
>She nickers, "Shame I can't use both hooves though. This is gonna take ages."
>You just groan in response.
>She slowly moves across both shoulders, then up onto your neck.
>After she finished on your neck, you had to apologize for drooling onto her pillow.
>She massages the arm closest to her, then shuffles over you and sits on your right side to do the other arm.
>There was less room on that side of the bed, so she kinda squished against your side.
>After finishing the second arm, she twists around and begins on your lower back, squeezing fresh moans from you.
>"Hey Anon?"
>You grunt in response.
>"You weren't lyin' when you said all that stuff 'bout meat, right?"
>You wrench your heavy eyelids open and turn your head to look at her.
"No? 'Course not, I don't think I even could lie to you."
>She stops massaging you, "Ya wouldn't now? How 'bout all them machine designs ya threw away?"
>You close your eyes and sigh heavily, but she immediately continues her massage and says, "Nah, don't worry 'bout it. I know you're just worried after that scare with the scythe. I'll help ya work past that... I was just in a sour mood then an' didn't feel like confrontin' you 'bout it."
>You moan again as she presses into a particular spot, then open your eyes again.
8/9"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613456 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:22:47")

">>32613448
"Well... I do still feel like shit about lying for that. Lying to the element of honesty's probably some kind of pony sin, right?"
>She laughs and moves further down your spine, "Naw, 'course not! Rainbow Dash woulda been thrown in Tartarus ages ago!"
"Well anyway, no, I wasn't lying about meat."
>A huge yawn overwhelms you.
"...It's very popular back on earth."
>She pauses her massage and leans closer to your, "Even... even what ya said 'bout cows?"
"Beef is one of the most popular meats. Cow meat is beef."
>From her face, you start to worry you might have genuinely upset her so you struggle to speak through your sleepy fog.
"Should probably mention cows are dumb back on earth. Humans are the only animals that can talk and think. Not like we're eating Betsy or whatever that cow's name is. It's like eating a fish."
>She seems to relax so you do too.
>She skips over your butt and starts massaging your thighs.
"Uuuugh... you said some ponies do eat meat?"
>"Yeah... dunno where they get it from."
"Yeah... 'specially since most animals are sentient here... the vegans would lose their shit."
>"You ever... uh, y'know... hunted? Like, got yer own meat?"
"Huh? Sorry, I'm dozing off... what'd you say?"
>She stops massaging and leans into view.
>She smiles and says in a quiet voice, "Nevermind. Go to sleep, Anon. I'll see you in the morning."
>You yawn again and mumble.
"But... 'm takin' your bed... where're you gon' sleep?"
>She crawls over you to the other side of the bed, turns off her lamp, and snuggles against you, her fuzzy snoot tucked between your neck and shoulder.
>She whispers something in your ear.
>But you were already asleep.
9/9

https://pastebin.com/fFDLGj9H

As always, please let me know what you think, and be honest! I want to know if something is questionable or even outright bad."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32613577 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)19:46:27")

">>32613456
Comfy++. Please continue."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32613747 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)20:16:00")

">>32613456
been away for a while. Is this worth reading?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32613824 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)20:29:12")

">>32613747
yes, it's cozy"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32613841 && dateTime=="07/07/18(Sat)20:32:13")

">>32613747
So far nearly everyone that's replied has loved it.

The worst complaint I've received is it's a bit generic, but I really tried to steer away from the overdone stuff as best as I could, while still keeping it a story about Anon working at sweet apple acres (which in of itself is a bit generic).

It has some feels, very cute scenes with Apple Bloom, Granny Smith is hilarious at least to me, and there are extreme levels of comf."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32614821 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)00:21:20")

">>32613747
Yes."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32615140 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)02:21:55")

">>32613841
>>32613456
beginning is pretty rough and story moves really quickly, but i'm enjoying it so far. Keep it up friendo"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32615148 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)02:24:55")

">>32613456
Ughhhh"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32615167 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)02:36:54")

">>32613456
Its fucken adorable man, good work"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32615241 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)03:22:59")

">>32615140
Hey, thanks for reading!
The beginning was actually even worse until a couple weeks ago; this is after heavy editing. This is only my second story... my first was much, much worse.
>story moves really quickly
And here I was worried about going too slow and boring people.

>>32615167
Thanks! I sure tried.

>>32613577
Definitely continuing, this story is a lot of fun to write. No ending in sight for now."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32615257 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)03:34:47")

">>32615241
Ughhh keep it up."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32615579 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)06:34:46")

">>32615257
Are you...alright?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32616133 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)10:53:21")

">>32615579
Probably not."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32616431 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)12:32:36")

">>32613841
I am enjoying it.

Is Anon going to serve up the hot dickings for Appul Pone, or is the species barrier going to prevent them from acting on their feelings?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32617287 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)15:19:52")

">>32604647
>rainbow dash is a shipper
>Anon must now defend his position as top autist.
>But how could he possibly top being more autistic than a shipper?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32617392 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)15:38:54")

">It was the fifth of July.
>Mum n dad were out shopping, leaving you alone in the house today because they were going to the next town over.
>whatever.
>looking in discord, there isn't any new messages
>A quick sigh of defeat.
>until you're interrupted by a red bubble.
>A little "1" in a red circle from someone you didn't know.
>clicking it open it reads "dude lol check this out."
>Probably a virus, but you're not retarded so you've got anti-virus software and adblock.
>everything starts melting.
>like everything.
>oh god why why did you click the link anon your mom told you not to click things from strangers you fucking idio-
>you black out.

>"He's coming to."
>You try opening your eyes, everything is blurry as shit.
>You can barely make a face out of a blur.
>not really a face though.
>how did you contract an acid trip through a fucking computer link.
>man you're hungry.
>"Yes, he seems to be fine. Just a little burnt around his hands."
>your lips move, trying to speak; "mwghhh."
>"It's trying to speak.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32618191 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)17:57:30")

">>32617392
Any more?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32618201 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)17:59:26")

">>32617392
Would you like to know more?
Y[X] N[ ]"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32618494 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)18:39:43")

">>32617392
>tfw I realize all my life I've been missing out on a trip to Equestria by using AV software
>brb pressing F to pay respects"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32618947 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)19:44:36")

">>32617392
"Oh fuck I'm dying right."
>"He speaks!"
>your vision begins to clear
>they're fucking horses
>one is wearing a cap
>what the fuck
"what the fuck"
>anon why
>"Relax!"
"you're a horse"
>"you're a monkey."
"I'm not a minority."
>"what"
"nevermind"
>pain shoots around your body
"Ah. My fucking head hurts."
>"Yes. That tends to happen when you rip a hole through reality and fall four stories. I'm surprised your legs aren't broken."
>"You landed on an ice cream vendor."
"fuck when do i get my chocolate swirl."
>"We gave you anesthetics, I think that equates to atleast one."
"oh, okay."
>You look around, the one horse talking to you was a pale white body horse with a pink hair-do in a bun. Additionally, she was the one wearing a cap.
>There's a caramel colored one with brown hair."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32619878 && dateTime=="07/08/18(Sun)22:31:56")

">>32618494
>YOU'VE ALREADY WON WITH THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32620293 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)00:22:04")

">>32617287
It leads to Ponyville's first ever Annal Spaghetti Championship."
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621000 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)03:58:22")

">>32613456
>Warm.
>This bed is heaven.
>Maybe if you don't open your eyes, you can stay here forever.
>Everything you feel is warm and soft.
>Warm air gently brushes your face and you crack one eye open.
>Then both open wide in shock.
>Applejack's face fills your vision, only inches from yours.
>You remember she's in heat and frantically struggle to remember last night.
>...Last thing you can recall is her massaging near your butt.
>You start to silently hope nothing happened.
>But then you wonder... is that really what you hope?
>Trying not to wake her, you slowly turn your stiff neck and look down at your bodies.
>You're both on your side facing each other, the blanket pushed down to your thighs.
>One arm is tucked under her, her head on your upper arm and your hand down her back.
>Your other arm is at your side, bent so your hand rests on her barrel, fingers dug slightly into her fur.
>Her cast is resting on your neck, her other foreleg tucked between you, fuzzy fetlock just brushing your chin.
>Her torso is pressed up against yours, one leg resting on your side, the other stretched out along your thigh.
>You're actually amazed at how warm and cozy this is.
>...From what you can see and feel, you decide she probably didn't do anything more than massage you.
>You can't tell if you're relieved or disappointed.
>With her pressed against you, you can feel her chest swell with a deep breath, bringing your attention back to her.
>She cracks an eyelid open, meets your eye, and her mouth quirks into a tiny smile.
>She lets out a faint, happy "Mmm..." then shuffles her head closer, tucking her muzzle under your chin.
>She mumbles something that sounds like "...view."
>You consider trying to wake her. It must be nearly time to get to work.
1/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621007 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)03:59:25")

">>32621000
>Then you remember she's injured and that Big Mac said you're off for two days to recover.
>You let out a soft sigh of relief, making her ear twitch, then close your eyes.
>You could get used to this.
>...
>You wake suddenly.
>Did you just hear the door open?
>You lift your head, ignoring the stiff pain in your neck.
>You see Granny Smith standing in the doorway.
>Your blood instantly runs cold, but surprisingly, the old mare just smiles.
>You relax marginally.
>She leans in close and whispers just barely loud enough for you to hear.
>"She still asleep?"
>You nod.
>"Now answer truthfully, Anon. Ah promise it's okay if'n the answer's yes, ah just need t'know. Y'all do anythin' last night?"
>You think for a moment and remember your sleepy conclusion from earlier.
>You shake your head and whisper as quietly as possible.
"I was dead tired and don't remember much, but I don't think so."
>She eyes you critically, then relaxes and nods, "Alrighty, ah believe ya. Be right back."
>She walks away and you slowly lower your head to the pillow, neck already throbbing.
>A moment later, you see Granny's head appear behind Applejack's.
>Still whispering, she says, "Apple Bloom 'n Big Mac are already out workin' an' I'm 'bout to head into town. House'll be empty for a good long while."
>She holds up a glass of murky tea, "Ah brought 'er medicine. Ah recommend ya make 'er take it as soon as she wakes up. If'n ya wake 'er up in a pose like that an' don't get 'er that medicine... well ah don't doubt she'll get awful excited real quick."
>She sets the glass down on Applejack's end table, steps out the door, turns back to you and winks, then silently shuts the door behind her.
>You try and process what just happened.
>Bringing her medicine up here you can understand.
>Especially after pointing out how easily Applejack will get excited.
2/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621011 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:00:30")

">>32621007
>But why did she specifically point out that the house will be empty?
>Of course everyone will be out working.
>Unless...
>Your eyes widen.
>No...
>She couldn't mean...
>A tiny incredulous laugh escapes your lips.
>Did Granny really just try and set you up with Applejack?
>Applejack mumbles a bit in her sleep and stirs slightly.
>Your heart starts pounding.
>What are you going to do?
>...Do you even want to be set up with Applejack?
>Actually, you never thought of her like that before.
>Or... any pony, really.
>They're adorable, sure, but...
>You look down at Applejack again... really look at her this time.
>You focus on her forehoof first, pressed against your chest, noticing her fur floofs up a bit around the base of the hoof.
>You gently wrap your hand around it and look at its underside.
>Despite how much Rarity pokes fun at her, it's well taken care of.
>It's no manicure of course... the hoof is scratched up a bit from her work, but it isn't chipped and the underside is clean, even up to it's squishy frog.
>You carefully release her hoof and shift your attention to her body.
>Lying on her side like this makes her barrel sink in a little, accentuating the curve of her hips.
>Your return your hand to her flank and gently stroke down her side.
>Moving with her fur like this, she feels incredibly smooth and you can feel the ripple of muscle under her coat.
>You stroke the other way against her fur and it folds up easily, soft and fluffy.
>You look back up to her face... and jerk your hand away in surprise.
>She's staring right at you, wearing a humorous smirk.
>"Enjoying the view, sugarcube?"
>You sputter, unable to even put two words together.
>She giggles and covers your mouth with her hoof, frog pressing against your lips.
3/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621014 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:01:40")

">>32621011
>You try to wiggle away but she presses down on you with her cast and her leg on your hip.
>"Hey, where ya goin'?"
>You pull your head back off her hoof and manage to speak.
"Y-Your medicine is over... uh, over there."
>She twists her head to look at it, then looks back to you, looking suddenly uncertain, almost anxious.
>"Well... d'you want me to take it?"
>You hesitate, your mind racing.
"...What do you want?"
>Her ears turn down and she looks away, "Don't rightly know, if I'm honest."
>She bites her lip and meets your eye again, "That's uh... kinda why I asked you."
>God she's cute.
>You bring a hand to her cheek.
"I think you should wait until your heat is finished."
>She groans and pushes your hand away, "C'mon Anon, it ain't like my mind is messed up. Even off the medicine like this, I can still think clearly."
>She turns her head away and mumbles, "I'm just buckin' horny."
>You clear your throat awkwardly.
"That's uh... that's kinda what I mean, though. You shouldn't make such decisions in this state of mind... I know what it's like to be so horny you'll take anything you can get."
>She doesn't respond for a moment, ears swivelling wildly, then suddenly she pushes against your chest and scoots away.
>"Any... anythin' I can get? I can't get nopony! I can't even get you!"
"Wait, huh?"
>She rolls away and starts mumbles angrily, "Jus' tryin to be myself like everypony says ya should, an' what's it gotten me? Hardly ever seein' stallions, ones I do're always chasin' Rarity 'cause she's so gosh darn gorgeous..."
>You struggle against your stiff muscles to sit upright.
"Uh... AJ?"
>She sits up on the edge of the bed, growing louder as she rants, "...or chasin' Twilight 'cause she's smart as hay an' a buckin' princess too, or hay even chasin' one o' all them other cute mares in town just ripe for the takin'..."
"AJ."
4/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621015 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:02:47")

">>32621014
>She rubs her leg with a hoof, yelling angrily now, "Don't know why I even buckin' TRY anymore, oughta jus' stay 'ere on the buckin' FARM cause o'course nopony'd ever pick a buckin' ugly work horse like me!"
"HEY!"
>Ignoring your body's angry protests, you grab her around the torso with both hands and she yelps as you lift her into the air.
>You pull her away from the edge of the bed and plop her down in front of you, facing you.
>Her ears flip straight back, and she glares at you, furious.
>You glare at her right back.
"That right there was the biggest load of horse shit I've heard since back on Earth."
>She snorts, her tail flicks, and she opens her mouth to reply, but you cut her off.
"No, you fucking listen right now. I can't believe you, the element of honesty, can sit there and spout such utter shit. You have to be honest with yourself just as much as you are with everypony else."
>She jabs your chest with a forehoof and shouts, "Ah AM bein' honest!"
>You grab her by the shoulders and shout back.
"No you fuckin' aren't! 'Ugly work horse'? That's not honest, you're the best looking mare in this whole damn town!"
>She takes a deep breath, looking ready to scream.
>Then she does a mental double take.
>The anger seems to drain out of her, and she looks confused.
>"W-What? But... but you... ah thought..."
>You let go of her and turn away, ears burning.
>Applejack stops her stammering and the silence instantly becomes overwhelming.
>The silence quickly becomes unbearable and you are forced to break it.
"I... I don't know. I'm just so... so uncertain... I'm never certain of anything these days. I'm not even sure how I feel about you."
>You look back and see her watching you, mouth slightly parted, both ears focused on you.
"But Applejack, one thing I do know is there is no chance in Tartarus you're ugly."
>Her lip quivers slightly and her tail twitches, "Ya... really think so?"
5/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621020 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:03:50")

">>32621015
>You smile weakly.
"Lying to you is a pony sin, right?"
>Her laughter catches in her throat and she turns away to takes a few slow breaths.
>She slides off the bed and grabs the herbal medicine, drinking it immediately.
>Setting the glass down, she sighs, "You're right. I shouldn't try an' make such big decisions in this state."
>She meets your eye, then blushes and looks away again, "I'm uh... I'll be honest, Anon. I like you... a lot. Enough that I really don't think it's my heat... but you're right, o'course I can't be sure. I won't try anythin' 'till my heat is done, promise. But, uh..."
>Her blush deepens and... did she just lift her tail?
>"If there's anythin' YOU wanna try..."
"Whoa girl."
>She giggles nervously and you stretch your neck, wincing.
"Honestly... don't think I'm physically capable of that right now anyway."
>She hops up onto the bed, "Here... lemme help. I never did finish your massage."
"You sure that's a good idea?"
>"Don't you worry, that medicine's fast. I'll be fine."
>You lie down as before and she gives your shoulders, neck, and arms a quick once-over before giving your thighs and calves a longer, more thorough massage.
>She has you flip over and massages the top of your thighs, then your chest as well.
>You try to act like you aren't watching her and see she keeps looking over your body while she works, faintly blushing.
>Finally, she leans back and you sigh contentedly.
"Okay... back to sleep..."
>She pokes your side, "Nuh uh! If you got the whole day off, that means I ain't gotta spend the whole day bored!"
>You eye her warily.
"Aren't I supposed to relax and recover?"
>"Ah, you'll be fine. I jus' wanna head into town, hang out a bit."
>She waves her cast at you, "Doc came by last night while you were still out with Big Mac an' said it's safe to walk on, just no trotting."
6/7"
;


if(Maonyman !!Qi4bigyYLqE && title=="" && postNumber==32621026 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:06:41")

">>32621020
>You reach up and boop her muzzle, making her eyes cross.
"Then go walk into town, don't let me stop you."
>She wiggles her nose and snorts, then refocuses on you.
>"No way! You an' I ain't done nuthin' but work together. It's 'bout time we spend some time as friends."
>She shoves your legs with her hoof and they slide off the bed, forcing you to catch yourself and sit up.
"Alright, fine! Lead on, Ms. Apple."
>She chuckles and hops off the bed.
7/7

https://pastebin.com/fFDLGj9H

Dunno how or why but I was just in the zone all weekend. Half of last update and all of this came from just the last two days.

As always, let me know what you think :)"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32621045 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)04:15:00")

">>32621026
Part of me really wishes they'd decided to bang today. Other part of me wants to see where it goes if they wait."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32621929 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)10:56:54")

"When work is play and play is work
Suck my dick, I'm a Shark!"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32622648 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)13:46:59")

">>32621929
candygram"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32623567 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)17:28:03")

">>32622648
For Mongo?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32624319 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)20:03:17")

">>32623567
old SNL skit reference"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32624420 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)20:15:03")

">>32621026
Heartwarming as always, my man, keep up the wonderful work"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32624428 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)20:16:10")

">>32624319
Blazing saddles, man, come on"
;


if(/r/ && title=="" && postNumber==32624577 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)20:43:37")

">>32624428
The old SNL crew--Chevy Chase, Lorraine Newman, and the rest--actually did use "candygram" in one of the "landshark" sketches, but it is uncertain whether they were referencing Blazing Saddles."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32625152 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)22:25:14")

">>32621026
It's good."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32625162 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)22:27:37")

"any nor/mlp/eople know of a good fic about Twilight going down the black magic route? Or any other villain stories that are worth a read? Please?";


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32625265 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)22:49:25")

"I apologize for no update yesterday, as I was off fighting Nazis. There will be a good update this weekend.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32625378 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)23:12:10")

">>32624577
this nigga gets it"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32625618 && dateTime=="07/09/18(Mon)23:55:29")

">>32625265
>as I was off fighting Nazis

As in playing Wolfenstein, right?"
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32625666 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)00:06:47")

">>32625618
No, he and I got into a fist fight after I called him Cucktor Fries too many times."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32625962 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)01:26:02" && image=="IMG_0009-X2.jpg")

">>32625618
No, as in military reenacting."
;


if(IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu && title=="" && postNumber==32625966 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)01:27:11" && image=="Skeptical bliny cat.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32626247 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)03:10:32" && image=="felius_catus_god_of.png")

if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32626309 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)03:49:23")

">>32621026
Damm good stuff"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627092 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)10:44:57")

"Workplace horse pussy.";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627599 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)13:37:29")

">>32625162
Yeah but can't remember what"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627625 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)13:43:46")

">>32625162
“Mythic Creature of the Woods” by Shukaku (RGRE, incomplete)
https://pastebin.com/THVpA71X

“Exchange” by GetMeOuttaHere
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/169217/exchange

I am not responsible for any madness said stories may induce in the reader."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627632 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)13:45:39")

">>32621026
I’m really digging “Apple Hospitality”. The pacing seems fine to me. Please, do continue."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627715 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)14:09:37")

">>32627092
Promotions?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32627867 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)14:46:07")

">>32627625
thank you kindly, good sir"
;


if(Mandroid && title=="" && postNumber==32628689 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)17:47:17")

">>32625966
I will literally never tire."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32629463 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)20:24:33")

">Be Anon
>Sitting on a bench in the middle of Ponyville
>Suddenly: A meteor!
"Don't worry, ponies. I got this."
>Do some yoga poses directed at the meteor
>A purple beam shoots at the Manhattan sized boulder coming straight at you
>The beam comes from Twilight's castle
>A golden and dark blue intertwined dual beam shoots at the meteor from Mt. Dawn, somewhere in Canterlot
>A faint pink beam hits the meteor from somewhere far in the north
>Through their powers combined, they reverse the momentum of the giant rock, sending it back where it came from
"Crisis averted."
>Ponies crowd around you "My saviour!"
>"I knew you were a hero, Anon! Always."
>"You're so strong, please be my Coltfriend!"
>Be carried away by your new fans
>Somewhere in Ponyville's castle, a purple princess is looking at the scene in disbelief
>Grumbling through gritted teeth "You little shit...""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32629525 && dateTime=="07/10/18(Tue)20:40:14")

">>32629463
Approved.

We now need art of various angry poners saying "Anonymous, you li'l shid.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32630993 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)01:37:38")

"beepbumpboop";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32631209 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)03:04:45")

">>32629525
Tiny Anon leaving turds in coffee cups again?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32631874 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)09:31:33" && image=="1296230__safe_artist-colon-jargon+scott_bon+bon_lyra+heartstrings_rumble_sweetie+drops_oc_ball+pit_bon+bon+is+not+amused_comic_dialogue_earth+pony_eyes.png")

">>32631209
It's a may may from certain artists on Derpibooru. Lyra Heartstrings does something silly. Bon-Bon is not amused and says "Lyra, you little shit.""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32632514 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)13:11:35")

">>32631874
>dat Lyra
Hue"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633330 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)16:42:02")

"Fuck you endless captcha";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633367 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)16:47:37")

">>32633330
maybe you should stop being a fucking robot"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633455 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)17:03:51")

">>32631874
Anon has a support group for dealing with Lyra's bullshit.

It's just drinking tequila in his yard while swearing."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633456 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)17:04:35" && image=="jewbot.jpg")

">>32633367
I was born this way, man."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633473 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)17:07:55")

">>32633455
>Lyra joins him regularly
>Drinking with him and crying about how she can't get him to open up to her
>They both bond over their problems with each other and become a happy couple"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32633549 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)17:21:37")

">>32633473
That sounds about right.
Twilight always tries to shut them down, but ends up drunk with penises drawn on her."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32634359 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)20:13:09")

">>32633456
>"Crush, kill, destroy-vey!""
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635038 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)22:44:24")

">>32633455
Is this real life"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635114 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)22:58:40")

">>32635038
Or is this a fantasy?"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635275 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)23:23:21")

">>32635114
Caught in a landslide"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635311 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)23:30:04")

">>32627625
>GetMeOuttaHere
He’s getting outta here."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635416 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)23:44:08" && image=="Freddie.jpg")

">>32635275
No escape from reality."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635490 && dateTime=="07/11/18(Wed)23:56:01" && image=="1683871.png")

">>32635416
Open your eyes"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635611 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)00:13:45")

"Friendly reminder to you all that this series of greens exists
https://pastebin.com/4UQgnC2z"
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635686 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)00:29:05")

"please make new tread";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635690 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)00:30:13")

"#500";


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32635887 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)01:17:26")

">>32635490
kek"
;


if(Mandroid !b0nLshMElM && title=="" && postNumber==32635973 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)01:44:37")

">>32635970
>>32635970
>>32635970
>>32635970
New Thread.
8th's at work edition."
;


if(Anonymous && title=="" && postNumber==32636093 && dateTime=="07/12/18(Thu)02:32:25")

">>32635973
Is drunkenly yelling at spiders really work?"
;


}
}