String fullTitle = "Fuck Me, My Daughter's A Magical Girl! Quest #16";
int postNumber = "2955728";
String image = "Yes, I'm the Father.jpg";
String date = "10/10/18(Wed)00:14:03";
String comment = "Once upon a time, the world made sense.
You're not sure it does anymore.
There's a different set of rules the hidden side of the world runs on. Your introduction to that side of the world was finding out your daughter, Melon, was a magical girl.
Contracted to magical rats, slaughtering demons by night to meet their energy quotas, fighting over hunting territory in a world where 'attempted murder' is considered 'hello' - that's not the life you ever wanted for her.
You're not gonna take it.
No, you ain't gonna take it!
...Well, you certainly aren't taking it, but things are a bit messy now. You married a fox bride years ago (you're still trying to figure out how Liska hid it that long, but maybe she's just started letting her hair down now that she doesn't have to hide it?), you seem to have accidentally been the catalyst for your overenthusiastic in-laws attempting to 'bring the old gods back to Japan', your sister Ellie (a magical girl that cut her contract) has been systematically slaughtering her way through the leadership of Hell, apparently Bernie, the owner of the accounting firm you've been working at for years, is a dragon who's supposed to end the world, you've gotten in two dick-waving contests with Dionysus (who's declared himself your patron deity so he can patronize you), and you've brought together a whole 'concerned fathers alliance / magical PTA meeting / magic mafia' of wizards, witches, magical girls, and at least one and a half demons.
Oh, and your new assistant at work was apparently a government mole deliberately inserted into the firm, and he answers to your old Marine Corps buddy, 'Superfly' Johnson.
You invited him to your barbeque, and you're still regretting it. Superfly showed up with his own team, at least as unstable as yours.
Bernie and Dionysus showed up without invitations, but at least you got Dionysus to kindly fuck off. Not before he carpeted Fred's house in grapevines, and probably cured the guy's rumored 'frigid marriage' problems forever.
Fred's a good guy, and that might have been a lucky break for him, but he's one of the few normal people you know, and you don't want him getting dragged into all this shit too.
Hopefully his wife likes those vines.
Fred's dog's been going nuts lately, since Liska and Melon are in some sort of kitsune/hanyou heat thing. That's been really, really awkward. Supernatural violence - you can kind of get it. Supernatural sexual drives - that's a ballgame you weren't prepared for.
Liska's advances have been mostly enjoyable, but Melon's... Look, no dad would be comfortable with the idea their daughter's horny enough to jump anyone! At least she's fighting it, and keeping herself in her room tonight.
And Mary, the leader of the 'crew' of magical girls Melon's been running with suddenly ascended to goddesshood. In your backyard. Knocked everyone connected to her out.