String fullTitle = "Bones Quest #12: Tibial Pursuits";
int postNumber = "5029984";
String image = "opimage12.png";
String date = "10/16/21(Sat)14:24:02";
String comment = "You’re STANLEY PARBLE: a girl with a weird name and an even weirder tale: after a centuries-old lich woke up during your graveyard shift at the GOOD BOY DOGGIE BONE factory, your simple life of janitorial work became a bit more… Complicated.
Sure, you became pals with your now-sentient skeleton (you named him LY) AND gained some nifty SUPER POWERS from eating MAGICAL BONE MARROW, but that doesn’t change the fact that your hometown of CLEARWATER, CALIFORNIA is overrun by HOMICIDAL SKELETONS! Even worse, the guy in charge is dead-set on taking over the rest of the world while he’s at it! Not cool!
In an attempt to draw out your latest target: the fearsome, yet paranoid CAPTAIN RED-EYE MENDOZA, you followed a lead on a MAGICAL PEARL that could supposedly cure any ailment into the depths of THE WAILING CAVERNS--CLEARWATER’S one-stop shop for natural beauty and educational fun. One thing they failed to print on the brochure, however, was that said caves were home to a clan of sadistic mermaids and their vile matriarch known only as THE DEEP MOTHER.
Ravenous for blood, mommy dearest had you stand trial for all of your ‘crimes’ and sent you to jail where you ran into ANDRE THE BUTCHER-- one of Mendoza’s men sent to track down the pearl. Fed up with serving the capricious captain, you and Andre formed an uneasy truce resulting in a brutal, albeit extremely convenient prison riot!
Escaping in the confusion, you all hitched a ride back to the surface thanks to a chance encounter with a local legendary fur-bearin’ catfish. Taking a short break before assaulting Mendoza’s ship, Andre revealed that during your flight he deftly stole the MERMAID’S PEARL from under the mermaid’s collective noses. Handing off the pearl to you, you eventually opted to use the pearl on your stalwart bodyguard and ex-stalker TALBOT, returning the skeletal golem to his human form… though the jury’s still out on whether or not that was the best decision.
Taking him and your best pal SYBIL to assault the pirate ship, you ultimately tracked down the captain and bested him in a duel! You didn’t have much time to talk or gloat, however--somewhere in the middle of it all you accidentally summoned the ship’s stygian watchdog: a SEA DEMON summoned by one of your two remaining targets! Barely escaping with your friends intact, your victory was cut short when the boat was ripped apart by a violent explosion!
After a tense meeting with your on-and-off FAIRY GOD BOSS, NOW KNOWN AS SHANNON, you found yourself back ashore staring down the barrel of a figurative shotgun held by your lifelong rival and tormentor: BORIS PONDEROSA. THIS is where your story continues...