String fullTitle = 'undefined';
int postNumber = 77424159;
String image = '1715191659560183.jpg';
String date = '05/08/24(Wed)14:07:39';
String comment = 'I think my autism is ruining my chances with women
>be me getting gas station hot dog
>open dirtied plastic cover of hot dog roller unveiling juicy glistening weenies
>See tongs attached to adjacent popcorn machine
>assume its for popcorn only cause its attached to it
>look for tongs for weenies
>fine absolutely nothing
>slight panic, do not want to cross contaminate or break the tongs rule
>spot cup plastic wrapped forks
>open up one packet and use fork to penetrate weenie and relocate to the bun
>cute worker standing next to me points out the tongs in the holder attached to the popcorn machine
>slightly giggles n smiles
>just trying to help
>I just stare her down blankly, make an angered face and walk away
>angry because she doesnt understand the tongs rule is why I couldnt do that
>pissed rest of the time eating my hot dog
Is it over, bros?';
'yeah it's pretty much over, op';
'>>77424159
this is the most autistic shit ive read on here in months op';
'>>77424159
The tongs rule...?';
'>>77424770
well if its attached to the popcorn machine its for popcorn not hot dogs
>>77424742
you serious?';
'>>77424159
Use this as a learning experience and reflect on what you would have done differently.
>cute worker standing next to me points out the tongs in the holder attached to the popcorn machine
>slightly giggles n smiles
>i shrug off my initial frustration I recognize as irrational
>say "oh thanks i thought that was just for the popcorn" and smile back
>she says no problem
>i leave and enjoy my hotdog with the fresh memory of a girl smiling at me in my mind';
'>>77424979
but what if she laughed at me for saying the tongs are only for popcorn. i do realize now i shouldve made a clever quip or something';
'>>77424987
if it's a lighthearted laugh like she thinks it's just funny/cute, go with it and explain yourself casually like "just being careful" or "didnt want to get hot dog taste on the popcorn", if she's mocking you, just go about your business and walk away';
'>>77425037
i don't think she was mocking me i think she was genuinely trying to be helpful, she was smiling at me not even laughing hard or really at all. just a small giggle after she said it';
'>>77424159
she thought u were cute, but u fucked it up by making an angry face.
sometimes u make mistakes anon, and thats alright.';
'>>77425607
this
>>77425059
im not saying she was looking to bed you right then and there, but it does seem like she was a bit charmed by you, since most wagies would have just ignored you or scoffed in annoyance. you should be happy at that even if you didn't handle it the greatest, it should show you you'll get plenty of more chances in the future, and they won't be bad if you keep trying to get better after every interaction';
'>>77425759
>>77425607
well my thought was "Wow now she thinks i'm retarded" so i got really angry at the situation. I ended up going back later today to pick up some hot fries, I tried smiling at her while she was scanning them but she wouldn't look up at me. maybe i did fuck up bros, fuck you have no idea how often shit like this happens and it sucks ass cause i just want a cute girlfriend';
'HALT, YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE SINGULAR TONGS PRINCIPLE
YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF OR BE ANNIHILATED';
'>>77425899
anon its not over dont assume she wants to fuck like the anon said but be friendly with her and see if she reciprocates
just say hi when you check out or joke about how you found the tongs this time around';
}