'And I can't even use english idioms correctly. Please god, kill me.';

'>>77425064
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRRA1e1YVBs&t=511s';

'Yeah yeah whatever nigger';

'>>77425088
I'm way past the pessimist pill and all other philosophical or religious solutions.';

'>>77425064
At least you're not a virgin. Where do you get off saying shit sucks for you?';

'>>77425104
i should've guessed as much, though i must've listened to that audiobook 100 times and it always seems to bring me a little calm and consolation. not that it matters much anyway, but its nice to hear someone so articulate give words to something that i struggle coming to terms with myself';

'>>77425140
Gay experiences out of sexual frustration don't count. Otherwise I have never penetrated a woman (although I've fooled around with one extremely crazy one at some point).';

'>>77425166
How do you almost tie the knot as a vrigin? Am I misinterpreting this?';

'>>77425166
>gay experiences out of sexual frustration
Nigga uhhhh...are you sure you aint just a gay nigga? If that ever crosses your mind as a viable option, let alone doing it, youre definitely at least bi. But might just be a gay nigga with dissonance';

'>>77425187
Yes, I'm autistic and ESL, I thought "tie the knot" meant tying a suicide knot around my neck. I'm so sorry you had to see this.

>>77425188
I'm bisexual, but my life is still miserable, desu.';

'I'll just take 2 mg of Xanax, surely this will solve my problems :)';

'>>77425064
>I should have tied the knot the multiple times I had it around my neck, but pussied out everytime.
It's abour the carotid not the airway
Helium is also a good method
If you have money then you have painless methods
If you are too cowardly try changing your mindset
Your choice to suffer or not
It's literally in your mind
Unironically is the easiest hardest thing ever
You do you do
I would suicide myself if only I had the proper tools';

'>>77425284
I know every method already, I've researched this for many hours. What I lack is the willpower. They're all quite difficult or painful to do, honestly.

But if I lived in america and had easy and quick access to an efficient firearm, I'd have done it for a long time.';

'>>77425284
I'm also bothered about making others clean out my room after I'm dead. I'd need to warn someone, otherwise my body won't be found after 4 months+, when they come to expell me for unpaid rents.

Otherwise I would need to first empty my room, break my lease, break every contract that I have so as to make it seamless to process my death, go in the streets. And even then I would need to find a suicide method that makes it so that no one has to process my body.

I just don't want to cause any trouble, but it also requires so much effort to pull something like this off.';

'>>77425312
>Otherwise I would need to first empty my room, break my lease, break every contract that I have so as to make it seamless to process my death, go in the streets. And even then I would need to find a suicide method that makes it so that no one has to process my body.
>I just don't want to cause any trouble, but it also requires so much effort to pull something like this off.
Suicidal people don't care about any of this crap
I know this from experience
When I tried to kill myself
I literally didn't care anymore
You are not ready anon
You are in the suffering phase
Been there done that
It'll get worse';

'>>77425621
I am clearly suicidal, and have been every since I was a child. But I have a rather rigid moral obsession of trying not to cause unnecessary pain and complications on others.

I simply cannot bring myself to cause any trouble for others, ever. I even try to minimize any sound that might be heard by my neighbours, or minimize any discomfort I might cause to them by them looking at me and my maladjusted appearence and behaviour.

I simply find it unfair for them, on a morally standpoint.';

'I'm feeling relaxed and a bit inspired.
I think I'll pop in another 1mg.
Let me sleep and leave this consciousness.

I wish our thoughts weren't fables and illusions, and that there truly lied up there ideals, in some plane, and that they could salvage my lost soul, and infuse me with an unwaivering will.';

'Still relaxed, I've written a bunch of rather rambling messages here and there.

I've alas also indulged in a bit of overeating,thankfuily healthy fod. As I inted to go from 18.5 BMI to 17

Oh well, i'll make it up tomorrow by starving myself.

This is the face of an obnoxious young and cowardly european.';

'Popped another 2mg.

I will lie in bed, watch an Herzog movie, launch a game. Think of way that I i will break free of my mental prison.

I want someone to hold my hand, move me to tears, and inspire me to write a poem fo theM';

'>>77425729
>But I have a rather rigid moral obsession of trying not to cause unnecessary pain and complications on others.
>I simply cannot bring myself to cause any trouble for others, ever. I even try to minimize any sound that might be heard by my neighbours, or minimize any discomfort I might cause to them by them looking at me and my maladjusted appearence and behaviour.
>I simply find it unfair for them, on a morally standpoint.
You are not suicidal enough
You are entertaining but you actually commit yourself to the actual action
Let time pass
You either get better or continue the suffering phase
Then maybe you will start acting
Moral code and all that crap is your subconscious finding clown excuses to not actually commit to the actual action whatever is successful or not';

'>>77427135
I've been thinking about this every since I was 8 or 9 years old, non-stop, and it has never gone away.
I simply have this rigid moral conviction of not bringing any further suffering in the world, since in the first time I want to lessen it, by killing myself. I'm not a nihilist. We were endowed of reason and certain, perhaps delusional, philosophical grasps of good and evil, and I cannot discard them.

While I feel empathy at those who end up hurting others before taking their own lives, I cannot shake up the feeling that they were very wrong, misguided and narcissistic. It's it not honorable.';

'>>77425064
sending my sentiments';

'>>77427222
I used to care too
Now ghensis khan would look like a kind and understandable man confronted to me if I ever had real power
Who knows ww3 is around the corner, trying won't hurt ...
Hope your pain lessens, you are not made for this world';

'>>77425064
Go to community college for computer science, do some projects, get some certificates, work some entry-level data/computer science job/internship. Literally all you need.';