String fullTitle = 'undefined';
int postNumber = 77425352;
String image = '1715199755933721.jpg';
String date = '05/08/24(Wed)16:22:35';
String comment = '>be me
>live in rural minnesota
>family has a hunting cabin innawoods
>not like we have a lot of money, land was ten cents an acre in minnesota not long ago
>quickest way to get there is to take a boat across the lake
>family is waiting for me there, supposed to meet them after classes on friday
>going to have to take the boat by myself
>not a big deal, it just honestly creeps me out every time
>boat has a tiny cab with a bench, a table, and a little closet
>check the closet to make sure no one's hiding in there
>get it started and head across lake
>hear the closet door open
>god damnit, it's the rape goblin, I knew it
>turn around and he's just standing there leering at me
>he's about three feet tall, cock already rock hard(looks like a pringles can, thing is giant)
>he lunges toward me and I jump right in the water
>probably going to be hypothermic but I honestly don't care
>finally get to the cabin, the boat is just drifting on the lake
>tell my family the rape goblin in on there
>sister says, "Yeah, we meant to tell you"

Thanks family.';