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public void Why are normies so clueless about martial arts?(OP Anonymous) {

String fullTitle = 'Why are normies so clueless about martial arts?';
int postNumber = 193109;
String image = '1712404094052318.jpg';
String date = '04/06/24(Sat)07:48:14';
String comment = '>Hanging out at a party
>I find out some dude is a TKD blackbelt
>He starts doing these faggy party tricks like kicking bottle caps off of sodas and twirling in the air using completely inefficient and impractical tornado kicks
>Normies, being normies, completely eat this shit up and start cheering and yelling like it's the craziest thing they've ever seen
>I offer to spar him, knowing his flashy kicks will just get his ass beat
>I swarm him with a three piece combo to the head and body
>He kinda-sorta turtled up, but I KNOW I tagged him in all the gaps, and I KNOW he was kind of surprised, but he just sort of stumbled back and played it off like he blocked them all
>The crowd goes "wow, dang, good thing he blocked them all"
>WHAT?
>I LITERALLY tagged him like THREE TIMES, and they THINK he "blocked" them just because he kinda-sorta turtled up?
>He fakes a leg kick and transitions into that stupid 360 spinning back kick bullshit and it doesn't even hurt when it lands cause it was soft as fuck, but I stumble over a hitched part of the rug where it's sticking out, and I trip and fall over
>The whole crowd starts going crazy and going "nah bro, just stay down, just stay down, it's over"
>I'm literally one hundred percent fine, so I dust myself off and immediately stand back up to resume the spar, but everyone's already high fiving the other guy and telling me "it's over, it's over, just stay down"
>I tell them I just tripped over the rug, and the normies are like "yeah, cause taekwondo guy kicked you over it", and I tried explaining to them that I stumbled over it myself but they wouldn't listen and they kept saying the taekwondo guy won
>First of all, normies are so fucking stupid I can't even believe it, and are absolutely fucking clueless when it comes to fighting
>If the spar had gone on for like 30 more seconds, I would have swarmed him and won and it would have been over
>Second of all, you can't even "win" a spar, so wtf?

Why are normies so retarded, bros?';

}
public void comments() {
if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193111 && dateTime=='04/06/24(Sat)08:14:15') {

'>I got my ass kicked so here's a paragraph of cope about it';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193121 && dateTime=='04/06/24(Sat)10:43:22') {

'lol you got owned';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193122 && dateTime=='04/06/24(Sat)10:54:02') {

'>>193109
>be anon, lose to TKD fag
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>nooooo I can’t lose the internet says I’m better than him because I train something else
>everyone points and laughs
Lmao anon, train more and get over it, he was clearly better than you.';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193126 && dateTime=='04/06/24(Sat)11:27:42') {

'this is a troll but i really wish it wasnt';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193142 && dateTime=='04/06/24(Sat)13:53:30') {

'Imagine rolling around on the floor in the dirt and cum (wreslters jerk each other off constantly like the Greeks intended) instead of learning cool kicks and flips to dazzle your friends and intimidate your enemies. TKD is designed to keep beautiful people (Kpop stars) away from smelly trolls (fans), that's why it teaches precision to kick them in the dick and cardio to run away as fast as possible.';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193327 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)10:45:52') {

'>>193109
You saw one dude getting positive attention thanks to his skills and you got assblasted like a little chud
This is why you're a virgin';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193334 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)12:07:37'  && image=='02fcf6401a1b939a64c1fd86dfa6be22 (1).jpg') {

'>be me
>TKD fag
>Know it's dumb but keeps me in shape, plus can do cool flips n shit
>Be at party, talking to cutie 3.14
>She likes my muscles
>Do some dumb flips to show off
>Kick off bottle cap
>Everyone is impressed
>Manlet with Thai armbands walks up to me
>Breathing heavily "you know that wouldn't work in a street fight, right?"
>Yeah, that's not why I train, just do it for fun
>Dumb smile comes across his face "wanna spar?"
>Sure, why not?
>Manlet spergs out, runs toward me with flailing arms and legs, screaming like superlek
>Shell up because don't know what's happening
>Unphased
>"Heh, you know I landed every one of those shots" he's already completely gassed
>He's coming back in for another autistic spazz attack
>Throw spinning back kick to keep him off
>He blocks but it still pushes him backward because it's a back kick
>Falls on his ass
>Is spazz crying on the ground
>"I just tripped, I swear! TKD is lame. You're all normies!"
>"Reeeeeee"
>Take cutie 3.14 home
>Everyone thinks I'm a hero
>Mfw';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193336 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)12:11:23') {

'>>193334
Based, would hang with';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193351 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)14:44:47') {

'>>193109
are you retarded';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193352 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)14:56:07') {

'>>193334

Kek'd';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==193369 && dateTime=='04/08/24(Mon)16:53:48') {

'>>193334
Based TKD bro';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==194408 && dateTime=='04/16/24(Tue)15:10:49') {

'>>193334
damn TKD really works huh';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==194748 && dateTime=='04/19/24(Fri)16:00:22') {

'>>193109
>Anon gets owned like a 19-year-old with daddy issues in front of a bunch of people
>I SWARE ON ME MUM I TRIPPED ON AN INVISIBLE TURTLE';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==194749 && dateTime=='04/19/24(Fri)16:01:51') {

'>>194408
It works in street fights AND at parties, especially now that every other normie bitch is a koreeaboo.';

}

if(Anonymous && title=='undefined' && postNumber==195074 && dateTime=='04/22/24(Mon)18:07:54') {

'>>194748

This comment made my day lmfao';

}

}
}

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