'>>31091261
Why do women avoid looking a me?

I'm not super handsome or tall, but I'm well groomed and dress nicely, and I don't look old or strange or creepy. And I'm not ugly either.

But whenever I try to catch a random women's graze she ignores me. I mean I don't expect every woman to look at me, but at least a couple. I'd be happy if I got a reaction from 1 in 10.';

'>>31091325
>I'm not super handsome or tall, but I'm well groomed and dress nicely, and I don't look old or strange or creepy. And I'm not ugly either.
so you're an average guy, right?';

'>>31091325
you probably need to go to a salon for facial hair pruning and then dress nicer. Also acquire muscles, it does wonders.';

'Dating apps are hit and miss so heres another miss story

I matched with a girl Saturday night, she was pretty flirty with me but i was also out that night and didnt respond that much. Sunday she was still talking to me so I asked her out to get a drink with me this week and she said she'd love to.
Now this next step could've gone two ways but I told her Sounds good, what days are you free this week? how about getting a drink at x place on Thursday with me.
I got no response. Monday went by, still nothing. 5 days later, still nothing.

No idea what happened here but im back to starting over again. coincidentally, I had 4 other matches this week (on bumble) and not a single one sent me a message. Something weird is happening';

'>>31091436
>>31091325
btw anon this is literally all I did (well, I also shower twice a day and make sure to always smell great) and now I get female attention.

Some very pretty short girls really dig it. I usually wear a hat too.';

'>>31091325
Try to look a bit less serious and more relaxed and fun and easy going if you think that might be an issue. Also, just don't worry about it, it doesn't mean much because women kind of have a shield up when walking around in public, it matters much more how they respond if you try talking to them or how random women react to you in more specific environments like stores, restaurants, gym, classes, etc. Ice cold approach is very hard mode, don't know why people focus on it so much.

>>31091436
>>31091458
well groomed, fit and hat also help for me';

'>>31091453
I avoid the drinks date. It heavily implies sex and it's expensive.';

'>>31091512
Coffee is the other option but I work during the day so I’m only free in the evenings and who wants to drink coffee at 7pm?';

'Since you’re talking about grooming, where should I go for my next haircut? I’ve always gone to great clips because I get a simple haircut but do I need to go to a boutique place like Floyd’s 99? Is a guy, girl, or gay guy better for styling mens hair?';

'>>31091512
>the drinks date. It heavily implies sex
that's exactly what many girls on apps are looking for though';

'>>31091534
I legit cut my own hair, cause the cheap barbers have the same copy cat undercut haircut and it makes everyone look like a poor third worlder.';

'Are lunch/coffee dates the way to go to start with someone you don't know well? Or can you just invite them to an activity? e.g. I wanna go to the skating rink but not by myself';

'>>31091261
i need her. how do i get asian women?';

'>>31091261
Oh shit lads, some woman liked me on that Facebook dating app, she looks alright and has no kids.
I'm feeling anxious as hell. I'm not sure if I want to.
God damn it.';

'>>31091261
Recently broke up with my gf of 4 years. Shit destroyed me. Now I'm trying to find someone else, I'm 27 and time flies. Where should I go to meet women ? All my gfs were either tinder or girls from studies/work. I'm done wiht this shit. I think I want to take painting classes or something like that. Is it good enough to meet someone nice ?';

'>>31091925
>Where should I go to meet women ?
literally the biggest dating problem of our times, at least for guys, everyone has to find their own answer';

'>>31091925
Good luck bro. me and my gf of 4 years broke up in 2022 and its been a rough time out there';

'>>31092060
>everything moved to internet
>internet has become fake and gay
yay
I see people going out to the parks and such, but plenty of that are families and literal kids.';

'>>31091925
>Is it good enough to meet someone nice ?
It's a definite possibility.
In my experience and observation, finding women isn't that difficult if you put yourself out there, try new things, and keep a positive outlook.
Finding a compatible partner is exceptionally difficult for many people.';

'>>31091638
Well, everyone eats, many people drink coffee or tea, fewer people enjoy going to the skating rink.
The more esoteric your chosen activity is, the more likely it is that the individual won't be interested. Some activities are regional so I have no idea how common a skating rink is for you.

The point of a "coffee date" is to see if you like each other enough to spend more time together, like on a more real date.';

'>>31092072
Very sorry to hear. It's very strange when such a long relationship comes to an end. It feels like everything you lived with that person was a lie and didn't matter at all.

>>31092104
That's why dating apps and bars are out of the question for now. I've learned my lesson. My ex had a high body count, tattoos, the full package yet I saw something in her because she was pretty smart and caring. I learned that you can't fix a broken person. It's pretty hard to find someone with the same values as you.';

'>>31092129
We were very close to marriage, but we discovered we had a few incompatible moral values that couldnt align without one us compromising what we believe in. It was a rough breakup, and I've been single now for 2 years. I'll be 33 this year and the dating landscape is not like what it was in 2018';

'>>31091925
>>31092072
How does this happen? I cannot understand how you can spend four years with a person and then decide to call it quits.
Wouldn't you know by the end of the first year if shit is not meant to last?

I genuinely want to know what your stories are like. Mostly to be on the look out for such things.';

'>>31092081
>>31092060

Ask yourself: what place/activity/environment is such that it has a large proportion of women and a place where you feel confident, comfortable and capable?

That place could be your work, church, some hobby, uni, or the local bar. That's your fishing spot.';

'>>31092143
according to youtube, most likely is the woman got bored. youtube it, it's probably just psychology

relationship is just the long campaign beginning, but it's still fucking easy just learn and do it retards.

A likely fact is that women improve men, they require them to have excellent hygiene, grooming, clothing in excellent repair, muscles, etc.

If you have none of these, but gain them, even prettier women will start to notice you.';

'>>31092128

Nah, girls love excitement. They are more likely to take you up on an interesting date, compared to a boring one.
BUT, that's not a sign that they like you. They just want to experience something new, on your dime. If you want a stronger sign of interest, a boring date is better.';

'>>31092143
Im this guy >>31092141
Basically it was a few things:
-she was getting fat with no regard for her health
--and so i slowly lost attraction to her which lead to less sex
----i felt like i had no control over my life in the relationship and felt like all those guys I used to make fun of who had a fat girlfriend when she was skinny when they started dating

-she didnt like I was unvaccinated
-she did not want to stop working to raise a kid if we had one, she wanted daycare, even though both her and I grew up with stay-at-home moms

Some of that stuff we shouldve talked about much sooner, but everything was going great until the final year of dating when we moved in together.';

'>>31091436
>Also acquire muscles, it does wonders.
For me this only works with shirtless photos unfortunately. God damn natty lifting';

'>>31092225
Buy clothes that fit better and show off your gains

>>31092141
>the dating landscape is not like what it was in 2018
How has it really changed since then? I feel like the most dramatic changes happened in the early/mid 2010s';

'>>31092300
pre and post-covid dating is like night and day differences';

'>>31092347
Explain?';

'>>31092300
>Buy clothes that fit better and show off your gains
Tbh I think I'm gonna see if I can find some beach volleyball league or something and just play shirtless. I've been looking for more fun sport-y type stuff to do anyway';

'>>31092177
>They are more likely to take you up on an interesting date
Fair enough
My point was that "interesting" is subjective.';

'Is it a bad sign when your match on dating app replies with lmfao to your comment? I am not that ugly bros.....';

'>>31092477
what does that even mean?';

'>>31092477
post convo';

'Has ignoring a woman or giving them no contact ever worked out for any of you guys?';

'>>31092489
I am too embarassed now.

She said she is not very active on the app, so she doesnt reply a lot, I asked if she wanted to follow me on insta, she ignored me;
and after a few days I added "Once two zodiac signs (me and her) met and there was no communication :smiling face:". To which she replied lmfao today, after two weeks. Even typing this sounds bleak to me.';

'>>31092520
>She said she is not very active on the app
that means get to the point and ask her out or at least for her number';

'>>31092520
sounds like shes just bored and doesnt know how to initiate';

'>>31092143
I'm the other guy
We starting dating when we met from tinder. She was pretty much a whore desu. It was strange because she was smart, caring and not brain rotten like most poeple would think.
I loved her so we got into a relationship after 2 months and started living together after 8 months. It was great, we did everything together and for the first time I felt like someone was my soulmate.
She changed a lot because of my influence, even thought I was a dick to her sometimes. I made her feel pretty bad for being a whore and had some rough words from time to time. I knew saying all those things were wrong so I accepted she had changed and moved on.
I wanted kids and had always said so and after years of living together she confessed that she didn't want any. From that point we broke up but we still lived together because I was kind enough to leave her the place we lived in. I just needed a bit of time to move out. She told me she still loved me and the breakup was horrible for her. I felt the exact same, even if we didn't want kids I still loved her. Once month later, I still struggle to find somewhere to live but i'm very close. A friend offered me to live with him until a found a place and I accepted to relieve her (kinda sucks to live under the same roof when you are not together anymore). Recently I had a feeling she was seing someone. For me it was impossible to be with another women, I was still fucked up from the breakup. I asked her if she was seing someone and she told me no. Now I know she does, bitch lied to me.
In short, she was seing someone else shortly after our breakup, wasn"t sincere enough to tell me and couldn't way a few weeks for me to leave. Basically she did nothing to ease the breakup despite the fact I was doing everything so it could be bearable for the both of us. In the end that person I lived with for 3 years was, in fact, a cunt. I never suspected it. Either she changed or she always was that way.';

'>>31092520
Don't get fooled, there is nothing particularly wrong with you. Either she is talking to someone else that peaked her interest for whatever reason or she just texts people on dating apps for the lulz. Move on, text another girl. Women are human too, if they want something they will engage.';

'>>31092532
>>31092533
Yeah, I guess. I am not going to reply to that, she needs to work harder since I even gave her my insta, so I feel a bit disrespected with such a response. I got a bit angry with all this BS, so I am thinking on enrolling in a yoga or dancing classes, at least I will see some women there and maybe even talk to them.';

'>>31092543
you have unrealistic expectations for people and many "nice guy" beta low self-esteem tendencies, stop expecting people to do the right ideal thing "that you deserve" and you won't be so disappointed all the time';

'Any tips for approaching girls at the grocery store? It's about the only place I see women nowadays. I know the general idea is that women, like men, are just there to get their groceries and leave, but at this point, it's my only option for meeting new people.';

'>>31092157
>such that it has a large proportion of women
uuuuuh...';

'>>31092566
Thank you anon for kind words.';

'Is a girl opening up about personal shit a sign of the friendzone? Really personal shit, nothing you'd ever say to an acquaintance. I've known this girl for well over a year and she's being very open with me recently.
Seems like a sign of platonic trust, but she's been giving other signals that are either "playful platonic teasing" or something more so I'm confused about it, any experiences with this? She would never have told me things like this 6 months ago, we've gotten closer recently.';

'>>31092596
How so ? Of course I have expectations for the person I loved for more than 3 years and shared everything with me. I don't trust people in general but is it really a "nice guy beta" shit to trust your family or loved ones ? Sounds like having trust in nobobdy is the worst thing one can imagine.';

'>>31092620
How about you guys start dating ? Of course you will get friendzoned if you do nothing. Apparently she likes you, ask her on a date dude...';

'>>31092620
I got friendzoned hard by a girl who told me about how she was molested as a kid. She and I both traume-dumped on each other and teared up a bit. It seemed good at the time, but in hindsight, there's no way any girl would find that attractive.';

'How often do you get hinge likes? I get 2-3 a day and am learning that might be a lot.';

'>>31092620
ask her out, tell her you just started having feeling for her, and see how it goes if she says no then tell her okay, and break all contact with her.';

'>>31092676
Never tried hinge but it sounds like a lot for any dating app. Good for you apparently you are what women are looking for.';

'>>31092621
>How so?
These parts
>I loved her so we got into a relationship after 2 months
You were over invested before even being in a relationship with her
>I was kind enough to leave her the place
You couldn't be strong enough to accept it should end and either leave quickly or tell her to gtfo
>I asked her if she was seing someone and she told me no. Now I know she does, bitch lied to me.
There was a 0% chance she would answer that honestly while still living with you
>Basically she did nothing to ease the breakup despite the fact I was doing everything so it could be bearable for the both of us.
Don't expect that from someone and don't take those actions

>>31092621
>is it really a "nice guy beta" shit to trust your family or loved ones ? Sounds like having trust in nobobdy is the worst thing one can imagine.
It doesn't have to be so black and white, 100% or 0%, that's how people with borderline personality view the world';

'>>31092676
I’ve had hinge for 6 months and 3 likes a month';

'>>31092705
I guess I will clarify a few points
>You were over invested before even being in a relationship with her
she pretty much asked me to make a move so we could make it official. I loved her but took my time. I think we were both ready for it when it happened.
About everything else, why wasn't she able to be honest ? We trusted each other for so long, why not now ?

Yea maybe I see everything in black or white. We were very close to a 100% honesty for so long that it feels weird to be close to 0 now. I know I expect a lot from her but I still don"t think it's too much to ask. Sounds like the right think to do you know';

'>>31092699
Feels good considering I was /r9k/ tier through high school. WAGMI';

'It happened. I got a girls number. A real life woman is sending me smile emojis. 19 years old and it finally happened. After all of the lifting and self improvement. Wtf do I do now?';

'>>31092620
See
>>31092696
>ask her out, tell her you just started having feeling for her, and see how it goes
Ask her out if you're interested in her. She's not going to signal anything definitive.
Also, I'd use the language of "grown more attracted to her" rather than "started having feelings". An attraction between friends can be normal and overlooked whereas blindsiding a friend with unexpected "feelings" can put undo pressure on what should be a casual exploration of the attraction of two people.

However
>if she says no then tell her okay, and break all contact with her.
There's no reason to ever do this unless you've prematurely developed feelings to the point that you can't watch her date someone else.
There's nothing wrong with being close platonic friends with a girl as long as she treats you like a friend and not an emotional tampon or simp slave.

In my experience, when you ask out a friend or acquaintance and they reject you, they tend to immediately back off and grow cold. They're protecting themselves from a guy getting weird, angry, sullen,mopey, or whatever. I find that if you completely ignore their coldness and continue to treat them friendly and normally as if nothing at all happened, they'll eventually return to acting like themselves and be happy and grateful for you not making things weird unnecessarily.

That's infinitely better, in my subjective opinion, than being "that guy who acted like a friend ,asked her out, and immediately ghosted when she said no".';

'Getting a girlfriend is literally impossible. Despite all my years of looksmaxxing, I've never been on so much as a date or had any female interest.';

'>>31093067
Is she 19 or are you?';

'>>31093067
gj anon. Now ask her on a date and when it feels right kiss her. Don"t be autisitic about it, she will give you ints';

'>>31093083
Have you personalitymaxxed and lifemaxxed?';

'>>31093074
NTA but

>In my experience, when you ask out a friend or acquaintance and they reject you, they tend to immediately back off and grow cold. They're protecting themselves from a guy getting weird, angry, sullen,mopey, or whatever. I find that if you completely ignore their coldness and continue to treat them friendly and normally as if nothing at all happened, they'll eventually return to acting like themselves and be happy and grateful for you not making things weird unnecessarily.

What if we both simultaneously went back to treating each other like I never asked her out after a few awkward weeks of her stalling on me asking her out? We got interrupted mid-conversation and she later expressed that she didn't want to do it over text out of respect, but was also really nervous about bringing it back up so I had to be the one that resolved it because I know her well enough. I knew her silence was a rejection in itself, but I knew a resolution would at least put her at ease.

We're still a bit flirty and playful, I became more attracted to her basically since January, but I think I asked her out too soon and caught her offguard. I think I just play it slow, playful and normal since she knows I find her attractive and see if I get signs. She's in my main friend group and I see her 3-4 days a week, so I don't feel like blowing up the relationship is worth it and I can simply pursue other girls if I meet any.';

'>>31093178
Was there another man in your presence she was working over?';

'>>31093178
Seems like it was handled well. Sounds like she's a flirty friend that *probably* nothing will come of it. But the future is uncertain.

So much better than anon's suggestion of cutting bait and salting the earth.';

'>>31093212
No, but she broke up with a guy who ended up being super needy about 6 months ago.

It was more about her clingy roommate (also a girl) always being around (they usually drive together) and me not wanting to talk about it in front of anyone else.';

'>>31093176
What personality do women like, anon?';

'>>31092630
Yeah, I feel like I have to make a move soon, she never gave out signals like this so she's probably wanting me to do something. But I could be reading it wrong so I think prompting a conversation about it is better than just straight up asking her out.
>>31092696
>>31093074
Kind of confused about the "I started having feelings" vs "I've grown attracted to you" spin. Sounds like the same thing to me, it can be taken the right way if she feels the same or the wrong way regardless.
I don't think we would have any reason to ghost each other though, unless one of us really fumbles this.';

'Here's a case where being friendly did NOT go well:
There's a girl in a friend group i've known for a while. at one point i told her how my dad had passed away when i was younger. she told me that one of her good friends (who isnt involved in the group) had a similar experience and that we should talk about it at some point.
I finally meet her friend at a bar night outing.I was getting a drink and she came out to talk to me, and we start chatting, about our dads and growing up and I could tell she was getting attracted to me. As we started talking more, i knew good stuff was ahead. her other friend asked i could drive them back home.
Anyways, I drive her back to her place and we start making out in my car in the back alley, almost full on sex, before we realized neither of us had protection so the night ended without full resolution.
The next day I send her a message and make a light joke about the situation and we talk on and off for the next few days. I ask her if she wants to hang out again this weekend and she says yes. Saturday comes by and i go to pick her up and the first thing she says is "Hey so um...blah blah came on too strong..blah. not looking for a relationship right now.. etc" so the whole day is a bust but we still went out and got lunch and had a decent day with no awkward feelings or tenseness.
>actual relevant part
I forget about her for a few months until my friend mentions her last week casually. I decide to message this girl to see how she's doing. I opened with "hey x hows everything been?" a while later she tells me everything is going good and that she recently started a new job. I asked her if shes doing the same kind of work as her last job.
A few days go by and i get no response. I then find out I've been blocked by her on WhatsApp (blank profile pic suddenly) and left on 2 gray checks. Either she thinks I was looking for a booty call or got anxious because i texted her out of the blue but I was not expecting that reaction from her.';

'I am extremely romantically interested in this girl I'm seeing right now, but only sometimes actually sexually attracted to her. This happens with my platonic friends too- I'll just suddenly start focusing on one subtly off detail about their appearance and they'll seem significantly more ugly for a couple days, so I don't think it's just an issue with her specifically. How do I get over this? Or at least how do I keep the relationship going during these down periods?';

'>>31093093
I'm 19, idk how old she is.';

'How to cope with retroactive jealousy with my gf? It’s killing me';

'>>31093283
The thing about "feelings" is that it could mean "I feel attracted to you" or "I love you please don't break my heart" or "I smell a doll I made out of your hair" or whatever else she imagines it means.
It's less overwhelming of she has to deal with you being attracted and interested in dating than if you have feelings of unknown intensity and implications.
And getting explicit about how you feel makes it more intense and less casual.

And I specifically said "grown more" attracted because it indicates that you weren't this attracted the whole time and just hiding your intention of asking out the whole time you've known her.';

'>>31093259
Confidence, social skills, humor, and etiquette are universally liked and each one can be improved.';

'My girlfriend of 8 years left me a couple of weeks ago, when should I start looking for someone else?';

'>>31091727
anyone know?';

'>>31093512
When there's again space in your heart. My gf of 5 years dumped me too. Well it was a slow death really. Things tend to bleed out rather than explode when you're a little older. These last few months really took the life outta me. Now I'm seeing this 20 y/o cutie, she's in love with me, but I'm still not over that bitch. It's tough. 8 years will be brutal once it has fully set in, even if it feels kinda okay atm';

'I have a girl rent-free in my head right now and I can't stop thinking about her. Shit hasn't happened in 5 years. It's a girl I really only see at the gym so it's really taking over when I go to workout.

How can I calm myself the fuck down? I feel like a fucking teenager again and worry that when I do actually see her again I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack trying to ask her out when I've been able to remain chill and normal around pretty girls for a long while now.';

'>>31092736
>why wasn't she able to be honest ?
Because a lot of times it's easier not to and that's what people do. Also, if you already gave her shit about her past even if she was open about it from the beginning then she's less likely to trust you not to freak out about anything negative. It's fine to not accept that she was a whore in the past, but in that case you shouldn't be in a relationship with her.
>We were very close to a 100% honesty for so long
It sounds like a lot of things were you being honest and her just agreeing with you to get along or her changing her mind over time and you interpreting it as lying.

It would be a good idea to see a male therapist to go over what happened in this relationship and learn what to watch out for in future ones';

'What are the best excuses to convince a girl to come over so she doesn’t have to admit to herself that she’s coming over just to fuck? I would do the “come over so you could meet my dog” bit but I don’t have a dog anymore.';

'damn, kettle bell throws (50lb) into the lift is a fucking AEROBIC exercise

lightweight exercise on the muscles, but damned aerobic and probably good for cardio and stamina';

'>>31094503
>throws

I mean swings';

'>>31091261
soooo. how do i get cute english speaking asian gf';

'>>31094808
idk nigga';

'>>31094808
go to boba tea shop or asian restaurant and ask to order 1 asian gf to go';

'When I ask her out, she's extremely bubbly friendly warm and receptive. Positive vibes and enthusiasm about everything.

Day of the date, she comes and acts weird/like a total bitch. Signs of complete disinterest in body language, eye contact, and overall vibe. This has been the reoccurring thing for some time.
I thought at first it might've been some kind of girl test, so I remain intact play it cool, have a good time - but the night ends up with nothing happening and me driving home feeling it was yet another wasted night.

I analyzed where I could've done better, but overtime it really does drive me to insanity. It honestly feels like a mere *blink* will give her the "-ick!"';

'Help me. I can't stop listening to autistic video game soundtracks, like those from Total War or Age of Empires 2, since modern music sucks donkey dicks and plus I like to stand out a bit. How can I get laid in this manner?';

'What are some resources on maintaining one night stands/fwbs? It's come to my attention women really want to date me and I just want to have sex with the implication that I can abandon the situation whenever I want.';

'When would be the appropriate time to ask a coworker on a date? We have been flirting for a few weeks, but physical touch is still limited.

She drives me crazy by making jokes about how we are in a relationship together';

'>>31095240
After work.';

'>>31095254
Well yes of course, I just meant time wise. What is usually the time period between flirting and an actual date? Also what kind of “gates” are there, like from non-verbal flirting to verbal flirting to physical touch to date, something like that?';

'>>31095263
>I just meant time wise. What is usually the time period between flirting and an actual date?
As short or long as you want. I'd say you're in a good position right now actually to ask.
>actual date
Don't frame it that way. Ask her if she wants to do x activity on y day.
>Also what kind of “gates” are there, like from non-verbal flirting to verbal flirting to physical touch to date, something like that?
Hmmm, I'm not sure how to advise someone on that because I just do what I want i.e. touch her hand for no reason other than to say "wow your hands are soft" or I pick at the shoulder of her outfit and tell her it looks great. I'll defer to someone else on this one anon.';

'>>31095286
Thanks for your input.

> I’d say you’re in a good position right now actually to ask
I have thought about it but I don’t know how I would feel id she says no because I basically work / see her every day. We are in a special program together that basically lasts for another year, meaning we will see each other close to 5 days a week for a year at least.

Yet she sometimes makes it look so clear that she is flirting: jokes about being in a relationship with me, playful teasing, letting me know she is single, frequent eye contact (even caught her staring at me once while she was playing with her hair)…';

'>>31095327
Mate, worst case scenario? Things are awkward. Best case scenario you get a wife. You only stand to benefit by asking her out.';

'>>31095334
Yes fair point. I just don’t think I can handle the awkwardness and potential loss of a good friend/coworker at the moment as she is one of the only ones I actually have a good connection with';

'>>31095380
If you truly think you aren't ready then nobody can force you. Enjoy the laughs, enjoy making her laugh meanwhile.';

'>>31093768
Sounds about right. I have a hard time moving on so therapy might be a good idea.';

'How do you guys start conversations';

'>>31095804
Depends on where you are, but generally asking questions works. For example, ask what they did previous weekend or their plans for the upcoming weekend.';

'How do I develop enough courage to try to get a gf? I'm 23 and I never even tried, at all. I'm too afraid to even create a dating app account. I feel like life has passed me by and there's no recovery';

'>>31093487
Those are too broad. I'm sure there are plenty of D&D wizards who are confident in themselves.';

'I met a girl about 2 weeks ago. We really hit it off. She added me on Snapchat. We’re part of the same club on campus. I asked her out. It went well, and were supposed to go out again. I made a small mistake by not already having a day for our second date, but she said she would get me her schedule.

Here’s the part I’m struggling with. I don’t want to come off as clingy but I want to show interest . Do I keep messaging her or do I wait? My family said wait, like back in the day it was the 72 hour rule, is that still true?';

'>>31096573
I like to send a text right after or the morning after the date reiterating that I had a good time. And then I leave them alone unless I have something interesting or funny to say until the day before the next date. Where I would confirm and then be a little chatty.

The whole
"What's up"
"Oh not much, you?"
"Nothing really"
"Oh cool"
4x a fucking day kills me.';

'>>31096212
Anon, make it today. I’ve said those exact words. You will fumble a few but it’s okay. Treat it like a game and use it to practice. My profiles are shit but they’re honest. Don’t pay for premium, you don’t want to see what creatures think they could get with you. I’ve had 2 cancel, I’ve met 2. The cancels are hilarious, dodged bullets. Don’t wait like I did. It’s fine at 23 you still have a whole lot of life. Don’t get stuck here. I believe in you, believe in yourself.';

'>>31096604
Well I already fucked that then. I took her out on Thursday. I was thinking about either today or Sunday. She’s headed out of state and to see how the event went on Sunday?


She doesn’t strike me as the squirrelly type. I really like her and don’t want to fuck it up. She smiled and giggled the whole time and we have a lot in common. We looked more like high schoolers than college students.';

'>>31096212
>How do I develop enough courage to try to get a gf?

The hard truth is that you just have to do it and suffer through the awkwardness and embarrassment of learning the ropes. You can read books for some guidance, but it's nothing compared to the actual experience of talking to girls and asking them out. You have to get out of your comfort zone and accept that you'll make mistakes along the way, the same way you would learning any other skill. After all, you didn't beat Malenia on the first try, did you?

Just like with fitness, it's never too late to start.';

'>>31096831
ELDEN RING OP!';

'>>31094974
i did this and everyone looked at me weird. what is wrong with these ppl';

'So women only want to date people short term for sex and money. Does that mean I can never have a beautiful virgin wife ?
I see women always date guys that are wimps and the woman has to defend the wimp instead of the guy defending her.
I also see women are dating people they crushed on in highschool. I have no female friends and everytime I try to make one they don’t want to be friends because they have a bf. So how am I supposed to get into the roster to date them?';

'>>31096919
Women aren't a monolith. Some guys and some girls just want to fuck, some want relationships. Men get stuck in the friendzone, women get stuck in the fuckbuddy/situationship zone. There large disparity between men and women declaring themselves as single is because women think "we're talking" or "we've gone on a few dates" or even "we're fwb" counts as a relationship and men do not.

If you can only find people wanting to hookup when that isn't what you're looking for, you need to change your social circle.';

'>>31096947
If they date someone for a few months and hop to the next that’s considered normal healthy lifestyle. I just want to marry a pale white non obese young woman that doesn’t have tattoos or piercings. And I want her to be a virgin like me. I see many black men get to racemix with women exactly like that.';

'>>31096919
>So women only want to date people short term for sex and money
I wish the latter was true. It only helps with prostitutes. Never managed to get a date simply because of my money. Some bitches are definitely crazy about sex and it is a huge turn off for me.';

'>>31095211
You need to get out of the mindset that dating is a huge commitment. As long as you aren't exclusive who really gives a fuck?';

'>>31096212
>How do I develop enough courage to try to get a gf? I'm 23 and I never even tried
I’ve had 3 gfs and I feel the same tbqh. This “fear” has never gone away. I hate meeting new people.';

'>>31097012
>Never managed to get a date simply because of my money
I'm pretty sure those kinds of girls look for guys that actually spend their money on flashy glamourous lifestyles rather than just keep it and live normal, which is perfectly fine with me, but I guess ball out on insta if you really want to attract them.';

'She texted me this morning thanking me and she had fun, we even swapped spit. But she says she didn't feel it, I'm so confused bros. Time to go fishing again, I guess?';

'>>31097174
Women don’t experience romance or emotions.';

'>>31097174
don't reply at all, she maybe text you in a few weeks';

'>>31097179
I know this is incel ideology but I think there is half-truth to it.
>>31097186
Will do, will see what happens.';

'I think I have nuked my tinder algorithm by swiping left too much.';

'I live in a suburb where there are literally no attractive women that are of age. The closest city with a okay ratio of attractive women to men is 45 mins away. How do I get a gf?';

'Didn't see this before I made a separate thread. Any help would be appreciated/
>>31097285';

'>>31091261
You don’t have to do anything to get an oriental, they’re desperate and chase men';

'What does it mean if a woman is making jokes about us being in a relationship? Also accompanied with her saying she is single and telling details about how her ex lived in the same city as me';

'>>31091261
alr anons heres a story i have this one girl i have been crushing on since high school after high school we are still talking and shit but i still like her im too much of a coward to go and tell her that i like her am i fucked? i go out with her and her brother every so often and we both have very similar interests im an average guy i feel like if this goes on ill be on the friend zone forever';

'>>31091458
>it a kippah isn't it?';

'>>31091727
Fly to Thailand, have money, don't expect love';

'>>31097762
>making jokes about us being in a relationship? Also accompanied with her saying she is single
These are hints that it's fine to ask her out';

'Obsessing over your EDC is the most feminine metrosexual onions thing a man can do.
>any wallet. If you are picky you are bitch made
>high carbon steel knife for defending yourself against white niggers and surviving in the woods
>1911 for defending yourself against bears, pumas, niggers
>android phone
>keys
This is all the thought that should go into this.';

'If your match is giving you short replies is that a hint they lack of interest or are you fine as long as they keep responding';

'How do you get over (or not care) about guys way less attractive than you end up getting girls?

I keep seeing jeets walk around with white girls and it's been ruining me day. Any intention or drive to talk to girls just ends at that point.';

'>>31098755
also
>inb4 just stop caring about white femoids and go for asian or pajeetas
I'm white and white girls are a lot easier to connect with. The asian and indian girls around here (SW Ontario) are a lot more conservative.';

'>>31098368
law of least effort, don't be the one that sends long ass messages';

'>>31098862
It should be whitepilling but my mind doesn't go there based on my own experience. I'm not seeing any Chads girls so in my mind, girls are more willing to hookup with uglies because they're easy for them, less anxiety around them and whatnot.

I've had issues with anxiety too and so it's not easy with me to connect. I've caught chicks staring at me (friends who were with me confirmed). Guys stare sometimes too. I'm trying to undo the anxiety and autism but seeing those uglies with girls makes it tough to keep any motivation alive.';

'Am I wrong for rejecting a girl who has an OF? She's hot and cool to hang around with, but she wants something serious and not a hook-up/"situationship" thing. I have no interest in pursuing anything serious with an OF girl. I'm also a virgin loser so I'm worried I'm missing a good chance, but I also don't want to create a nightmare situation.';

'>>31098970
you could be the one dicking her on camera and getting money for it you fool';

'>>31098978
people wouldn't pay to see my boney ass lmao';

'>>31098755
The more resentful you become the shittier your personality becomes which is why they get girls and you arent. Look at it hopefully. If that ugly fucker can score so can you.';

'>>31098990
You're very right now that I think about it, everything changes about me when I get resentful, even the way I walk and look around. I don't even smile when talking to people when necessary.

>If that ugly fucker can score so can you.
I'm trying to adopt that mindset but I can't. I just can't believe that girls are right in the head. I've been heavily bullied by them since childhood and sexually abused as well.';

'>>31099030
While girls care about looks to some degree, especially in hookup culture, they care more about how a guy makes them feel. Hence the "nice 405 squat, she let me hit it cuz I'm goofy" mantra';

'>>31098984
they wouldn't be watching for your ass';

'>>31098970
>Am I wrong for rejecting a girl who has an OF?
No, you did good, if you were more experienced I'd say fuck her but don't take it seriously, but since you have no experience and her job is extracting money from simps 24/7 it would be a bad time for you';

'>>31098931
I promise you that women still definitely want to get with attractive guys. If, in your area, they’re going for ugly guys, that means their standards are lower. Don’t overthink your way out of this one.';

'>>31098970
Go for it, just don't wife. Otherwise it's only a matter of time before your family and friends see your partner's vag and asshole.';

'trying a new approach';

'>>31099749
congratz anon now she has to change her sodden wet panties and take a shower';

'>>31099749
Smooth';

'>>31099749
this only works on latinas';

'I finally installed a dating app and set up my profile. I haven't been on a date in around 7 years, wish me luck bros';

'>>31100005
turn back now';

'>>31091261
Advice on getting better at telling how old women are? The most recent woman to catch my eye turned out to be a decade older than me, and that's less than ideal if I want kids.';

'>>31100214
I worked at a women's medical spa / skin care clinic for a year and learned all about the signs of aging, learning the basics of that stuff will help but don't become autistic about it or it will interfere with your attraction';

'>>31100254
>or it will interfere with your attraction
Like how attractive others perceive me, or my apparent attraction to older ladies?';

'>>31100268
>my apparent attraction to older ladies?
this, but not just older women, even younger women will have flaws with their skin that will become more noticeable';

'>>31099132
Would you say making a girl feel right has more to do with having the same mindset as other guys who do it right or it's about matching the way you look?

I'm still not convinced that looks don't matter. Being better looking can make the girl more anxious so you'd have to do more on the personality side.';

'>>31099590
>Don’t overthink your way out of this one.
Most studies agree with you on this. But sometimes I can't help but not be muh contrarian about this.

I'll change my mindset then. Thanks.';

'>>31100324
>the same mindset as other guys who do it right
this one, women live in a much more vibes based reality of feels over reals
>I'm still not convinced that looks don't matter
they do, but women don't analyze them in the way the autistic psl catty gay men do';

'>>31100292
Is it really that much of an issue? Especially if the alternative is accidentally pursuing women exceeding my preferred age range?';

'>>31100393
>Is it really that much of an issue?
Only if you make it one, but is it really that hard to not get emotionally invested before figuring out a womans approximate age by using factors other than just looks like her job, living situation, personality, etc?';

'>>31100447
>but is it really that hard to not get emotionally invested
Do not doubt my ability to fall for any woman in my general vicinity prior to any meaningful conversation';

'So where am I actually supposed to meet women? I'm currently in studying a STEM degree, so no women in my classes. Outside of class there's not much opportunity to socialise and I dont want to cold approach random women on campus.
I'm socially active, but my main hobby (warhammer) is a sasuage fest, no women at the gaming stores I frequent.';

'>>31100686
humanities electives';

'>>31100686
>my main hobby (warhammer)
Have you tried making offerings to Slannesh?';

'>>31097019
Whoa. Damn you just blew my mind genuinely. Thanks for this. I indeed always have taken even just the dating phase very seriously.';

'Where to learn how to dance/vibe/be charismatic at a nightclub?';

'Why do I only get opportunities for sex with girls I have no interest in dating long term, but who want me to date them long term?
I don't want to be an asshole and lie or pretend like I actually want to gf them, either.';

'Another weekend wasted. Went to my hobby club there was literally no one there. Epic. I'm sure glad I feel for all the reddit-tier meme advice';

'>>31101699
You did one fucking thing this weekend?

I went to 2 new clothing stores and a new shoe store. They all had nothing but low end trash, but at least the girls gave me some good looks. Was a bit busy, no time to chat--I could have pressed it but there's plenty of girls. I also signed up for jiu jitsu classes and made an appointment to get my car fixed on Monday. Then I went to a new grocery store in the opposite direction I usually go. Worked out quite a bit too, also went and looked at a couple houses on Friday.

Follow advice on youtube from women like wingmam it's too easy for you to fuck it up and will serve to help you improve yourself. The reason the so-called "high value" men go places and do shit by themselves for no reason is that their interactions with others are rewarding, I think.';

'>>31101751
>The reason the so-called "high value" men go places and do shit by themselves for no reason is that their interactions with others are rewarding, I think.

and if this is true, then the hygiene, clothing and other aspects you will be improving is a hard requirement to making this work out. Though, perhaps I am wrong.';

'>>31101751
what the fuck are you blabbering about you idiot? Going to the store is not a hobby. I'm talking about actual hobbies, places to socialise and meet people, not hitting on some 16 year old minimum wage worker who's forced to be nice to you. This board is so fucking stupid it's unreal. I also went to judo classes and it was all men';

'>>31101780
you did nothing, it didn't work and now you're complaining.

Do you really think you have a better chance meeting girls sitting at home wanking?';

'>>31101780
Lol, dude, if there was one hobby that you could just frequent and it would be full of available women, all the dudes would immediately flood that place.';

'>>31101835
It's called the salon or clothes shopping or something.

Trouble is the pretty girls are the ones working the counter usually, or already have a simp following them around.';

'>>31101813
are you retarded? i literally went out to my hobby group hoping to practice and there was no one there. i'm the one who's actually doing work and trying to go out and meet people and exercise, it's others who don't do it because unlike me they're not coping losers who need to have hobbies to get a gf. Ever notice how normie chads don't actually have any other hobbies apart from watching netflix but they're slaying pussy left and right? Hobbies are objectively for losers';

'>>31101849
>i'm the one who's actually doing work and trying to go out and meet people and exercise, it's others who don't do it because unlike me they're not coping losers who need to have hobbies to get a gf.

sounds like complaining, quit complaining';

'>>31101911
and then what? a woman will magically fall into my lap? Another retard focusing on completely irrelevant shit';

'>>31101944
You not understanding is not my problem, if you want to bitch about nothing and expect people to listen to your whining try some other board.';

'>>31101835
>if there was one hobby that you could just frequent and it would be full of available women, all the dudes would immediately flood that place.
pretty sure dance classes are like that and aren't flooded with dudes, but to make it work best you should go with a female friend

>>31101780
>>31101849
stop autisticly limiting yourself to designated places to meet women and start making an effort to get better at reading the situation with all women you meet everywhere for if they're showing interest or just being polite';

'>>31102234
I don't meet any women unless you're talking about stuff like women in the store doing their groceries';

'>>31102300
>I don't meet any women unless you're talking about stuff like women in the store doing their groceries
Lets start with any women you exchange words with and leave the cold approaching to later. Try to get better at interpreting their tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, whether they're willing to keep talking or are in a hurry to move on. If they seem open to chatting then just practice casually talking to some of them for a little while, without having the goal of dating them adding pressure in your mind, there's plenty more women out there, you can let the first few go';

'>>31102234
>pretty sure dance classes are like that
Only in areas with an abundance of women.
On my previous tech campus Spermacity, there were more guys trying to learn to dance than girls.';

'>>31102434
I don't exchange words with any women. I literally have no idea where you live that you just have an endless supply of women you talk to';

'>>31101630
become more physically attractive, act like more of an unserious fuckboy so they know what to expect';

'I cracked the dating profile code.

The pictures you take should show you as being confident/manly and probably doing some dumb pose shit instead of trying to look good. Also get a good picture with your head raised up so they can see your neck, a non-threatening gesture.';

'>>31103388
Example of "dumb pose shit"?';

'>>31103561
just look masculine, like flex or something';

'>>31091261
i went out this past friday and saturday with some people i met through like 3 layers of acquaintances. college town with typical college bars after like 10pm. the three dudes i was with are like mega players and they've kind of taken me as a trainee of sorts.
I've gotten into dancing to EDM music in the past year so i can shuffle relatively well plus some DnB step if i want. so with that dancing to music at the bars is pretty fun and engaging. people seem to be very impressed with my rather basic moves IMO.
now on to the question for anons. if im dancing what would you say is a green light from the ladies? because i kinda have the little autism so i dont see things that others see. ex. - i got off the dance floor to rest and pace myself and one of the player dudes was saying that i had like three women hunting on me and im like bro what? and that happened all through the night i have no fucking idea whats going on.';

'>>31091261
Henlo noobs on ADV
I AM A NOOB
I just got some great advice from a youtube video about a introvert attractive guy cold approaching girls
His Advice
>Dont premeditate
>Move your feet
>Open your mouth
DONEZO LETS GO';

'bros I'm having a date today but I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I think she's cute, she's a pretty face, but I don't feel that spark. Is this normal? why am I not feeling insecure? or stupidly horny? it's actually creeping me out it's the first time I feel like this.';

'>>31103861
great, sounds like you'll be relaxed and have a fun date';

'>>31103834
That will probably work, as soon as you slow down you will think about something and get all scared/shaky.';

'How do I get back cute, thoughtful, but depressed girl I was talking to? I rejected her harshly and now she hates me and doesn't talk to me.';

'>>31105114
With a Flux Capacitor?
It's really difficult to take back deeply hurting someone and next to impossible if they won't talk to you.
You best option is to show that you care about her in a meaningful way by demonstratong kindness and thoughtfulness for her, regardless of whether she'll talk to you or not. Difficult to accomplish at a distance.

The better path is to not harshly reject anyone, least of all a girl you might reconsider.';

'>>31103861
It's likely your brain panicking and trying to protect you from your own emotions. It's a common reason why people's emotions shut down.

My advice is to look for the spark but don't read to much into it not being there. Sparks can rekindle.';

'I lift weights, am well spoken, and can be quite outgoing, but I'm actually pretty shy. It causes me to have difficulties opening up to people and escalating with girls. Wat do?';

'>>31105114
Well it's possible I am in a similar circumstance. Does she still test you? If you don't know what those are, something like mentioning other men to try to make lesser/weak men sweat (react in some way, do not react), etc. or even just not going to lunch with you alone because she doesn't trust herself to not fuck your brains out.';

'>go out on date with girl from class
>hit it off, end up making out and cuddling
>she goes cold a week later and ends up ghosting me without specifying where we're at
>we pretend to be strangers for the next couple weeks then don't see each other due to month long easter break
class starts again next week, should I say something to her to try and get some closure or clarification?
like she ghosted but I'll also see her staring at me out the corner of my eye and she puts herself near to me when she doesn't need to so idk what she's feeling
I'm moving away forever in a month though so probably not worth it tbqh';

'What is the most common trait among guys that get laid? assertiveness. change my mind';

'I'm 27 and I'm scared its over for me. I had my first kiss at 16, lost my virginity at 19, and I've had sex with 4 women in my life. I've also been on over 20 dates, many from dating apps, and I went on 6 dates in two months earlier this year, and they were all very attractive but I got rejected after a date or two. I may get more action than the average guy but I've never had a long term girlfriend and that leaves a mark on you no matter what. I fell hard for one of the girls I slept with, and she fell hard for me too, but I had to move away shortly after we started seeing each other and we broke up because we were only dating for a month before I moved 9 hours away.

Is there hope for me to find someone I can have. along term relationship with? At my age it is something that deeply troubles me. I've been told that I'm good looking and I can be smooth at times, but usually these things have just gotten me one night stands or dates that don't go anywhere, and I have a hard time finding people I connect with. Lately I've been discouraged after so many rejections and I just need someone to tell it to me straight.';

'>>31106084
>I just need someone to tell it to me straight
stop bitching because you would know it's not over if you'd known the experiences of others in this thread
you're just a self-pitying normalfag
7/10 bait but I'm drunk';

'>found out coworker I'm interested in is interested in my other coworker
I lost, didn't I? He didn't even try.';

'I'm getting a license so I can teach English to foreigners. What's the best country to go to if I want to find a wife overseas?';

'>>31106547
The darker the skin, the easier';

'I'm physically fit, I do muay Thai and I'm pretty good looking I would say, but I don't have a decent career and still live with my mom.

Would this turn most women off if they found that out?';

'>>31106643
How old are you? Anything over 25 is pushing it, 30+ is why the fuck are you even thinking about women get your shit together now';

'>>31103388
Dubs confirms.
As a Hingefag, the one photo on my profile where I look a little muscular is the one most women seem to like(Mirror selfie, trying on some bell-bottoms)
If you have decent arms or whatever, just do that';

'Chads did you have any interesting thoughts after finally losing it?
Did you ever start noticing firsts as a "made man"?
>first vacation as a made man, first social event as a made man, first house party as a made man etc';

'>>31092143
Can happen in codependent relationships. Take me, alcoholic parents to a point of me not using any alcohol. She has an alcoholic father. We’re both together for a decade. I love her. After years passed I understand we’re both fucked. Neither goes to therapy. I feel used because I provide, pay more than half, do shopping and cooking. She does irregular cleaning, but is sweet, great sense of humour. I feel not appreciated emotionally and sexually unfulfilled, she’s probably the same, but we’re both happy being miserable. We’ve talked multiple times to no significant change, so I think about splitting, for both of us. First years were great. I was scouting for engagement ring. At one point, she was upset and gave me silent treatment. Yes and no answers for a week. I didn’t know what I did wrong, but understood it was a no go as silent treatments were a thing for her and became a thing for me too. Immature people shouldn’t marry immature people. Two states repel. For long term relationship you need mechanisms of relationship review. We don’t have any.';

'>>31106643
Find a woman who lives with her mom. Only problem with that is finding somewhere to be intimate.';

'>>31107154
lost my card at 15 so no, it was just a normal part of getting older';

'>>31091261
>be me
>get a crush on a girl
>never get the nerve to ask her out
>end up fantasizing about asking out out and having a relationship with her
>after a while get bored and lose interest in the girl
>rinse and repeat
why do i keep doing this?';

'>>31091261
How do I know if the approach will be worth it?

Sometimes I'll be on a bus and I'll see a cute girl and we might lock eyes for a second or two - but I'm unsure if she thinks I'm weird and is wondering why I'm staring or if she wants me to approach her. This may even happen multiple times, but I never end up going to talk to her for fear of her thinking I'm a creep.

Second, I often see girls that I want to talk to, but in cases where they haven't looked at me and aren't necessarily busy with anything or anyone, but I still fear the approach because getting embarrassed by a flat-out rejection, especially in public, would be too much to bare for me.';

'>>31107245
It’s because you’re a narcissist.';

'TL;DR: The pictures you put on your dating (cr)app profile are of the utmost importance - if you want success, consult a woman for help.

This probably won't be useful for many of you but advice for you all here who are using dating apps: once you find someone you can click with, I BEG you to ask her to make your profile better. I met my current sort-of kinda girlfriend on Hinge - she was the 4th match I ever got after using it for many months, and I never got a like first. I was expressing to her at one point that being a guy on a dating app is harder, which she didn't believe. I looked at her account when we first met and she had quite literally hundreds upon hundreds of guys sending her likes and messaging her all the time, 99% of which she never responded to - and she thought that guys had the same experience. I ended up giving her a challenge to pose as me on the same dating app using only pictures that she has taken of me in the past (we had been hanging out a lot for the past couple months at this point so she had some good ones) and within a day she had already gotten 5 girls to like my profile. Once again not only had I never received a like before in my life but 5 is more than the number of matches I ever made. Then more and more girls started to like the profile. It eventually got to about 25 in a few weeks when I stopped checking. All because as a girl she knew what girls liked and she knew what pictures and things to write would hook them in. So basically, if you do ever find minor success, find a way to get her to deck out your profile - you may not be able to thank me later, but I hope this post helps somebody out there.';

'>>31107270
heh no. if anything my mind goes straight to self loathing and imagines every possible bad scenario that could happen to the point where the idea of succeeding doesn't even occur';

'>Almost 30 (Turn 29 this year)
>Dead-end minimum wage job
>No degree
>Live with parents
>5’9”
>Starting to bald
>Never had a gf before
Is it over for me? Can I possibly attract ANY women?';

'>>31107288
>imagines every possible bad scenario that could happen
That’s exactly it, though. You refuse to take romantic risks over potential embarrassment. You place more value on how other people perceive you.';

'>>31107280
Thanks fren. I’d also add, ask your female relatives if you have no matches or female friends.

>>31107296
It’s not, and it is if you think it is. Drop ‘it’s over’ and live your life. Make a plan or learn to plan. Even for a day. Life is more than women and not fixing on women only is attractive. Women are a paradox. Be curious, don’t try to solve it. You can’t.';

'>>31107296
Before you can expect to attract women, you need to get your own life together first. I can't tell you the magic formula, but I can tell you a few things that can help:
- There are better jobs out there that only require a diploma and a work ethic (warehouse selector, any USPS/mail job, work-from-home call center, etc - Google has a great job search feature with plenty of filters, use it).
- Groom yourself. Shower every day. I shouldn't need to say this but a lot of people need to hear it. Shave your facial hair, or at least keep it neat. Wear a hat of some sort to cover the balding, and find something nice that fits you and isn't too flashy, something you could wear in a casual dress workplace setting.
- Save your money. Do not impulse buy. Keep a budget and do not stray from it. And stop wasting your money on anything like drugs or alcohol, you're too old for that and no woman worth her salt wants a man like that anyways.';

'Most of the problem is that guys think that a girlfriend is going to suddenly solve all of their problems, that having a woman attracted to you will somehow validate your entire existence. All relationships bring complications, and some relationships are more complicated than others. The validation won't last forever, especially as women can be extremely fickle. You only have to think how many men have sunk into crippling depression or committed suicide after a broken heart. The key is to lifemaxx and hope you meet a woman you are compatible with, not just any woman for the sake of having a girlfriend. And if you're just trying to get your dick wet, there are less complicated ways to go about that.';

'>>31107349
>somehow validate your entire existence
A pretty girl looking me straight in the eyes and telling me she loves me, and MEANS it, would probably make my existence feel validated, yes.';

'>>31107369
I'm sure it will, but if you need a woman to validate your entire existence then you are building on quicksand when it comes to dating one.';

'>>31107324
>you place value over potential embarrassment
no, more like if i fail it's a conformation of what i already believe in the first place.';

'>>31107405
Yeah, I get that. Rejection just reinforces all of the negative beliefs about myself. And if by some miracle I was successful, then imposter syndrome would kick in, because she obviously doesn't know the real me, or she has an ulterior motive.';

'>>31105891
bump';

'>>31105891
>>31107901
You already said it yourself, you’re moving away. That relationship, and any potential for it, is effectively over. Maybe you’re hoping to pull off a quick hookup, but if you were smooth enough for that, you wouldn’t be on 4chan.';

'>>31108142
Yeah probably
Like a month long fling before I go would be nice I guess? But honestly I just want clarification, I'm a raging sperg when it comes to ambiguity and uncertainty, even just knowing exactly what went through her head and why she did it would probably put my mind at ease and help me move on
>if you were smooth enough for that, you wouldn’t be on 4chan
I was smooth enough to be making out with her within 3 hours of meeting her for the first time';

'>>31108163
Not smooth enough, however, to seal the deal. Home run or STFU';

'Bros i need help texting..
Got a girls number last week, invited her out the next day and she said sure but that she was busy that week. Well now it's one week later and I dont know how to start the conversation again. I havent texted her since last week.

Do I just go straight to the point and ask when she is free or should I do the "what you up to" bullshit first';

'>met girl at Christian dating dinner event
>got her number
>got ice cream
>yesterday went to gardening event, talked, went to a bookstore etc
>she's sweet, really devout, wants to teach at a Christian school in Guatemala
Not sure what to do. I enjoyed my time with her and she's incredibly sweet and even pure (lives with her parents, drives an old car, teaches English to immigrant women, wants to teach in Guatemala, doesn't wear makeup, likes comfy but intellectual books like CS Lewis ect.) and I'm a fat balding sperg. And she may be moving soon. Kind of want to pursue it until something happens but also hesitant. Should I ask her to dinner and try to make it more romantic - like ask about dating/try to hold hands ect? I think that's my next move. I'm 29 and I think shes around my age or younger - I actually haven't asked.';

'How do you find the flirty, playful girls on Hinge? Just realized my type is banter and playfulness. I played a game with this girl from one of her prompts and we’re about to go on a date not really knowing anything about each other, and it feels more right than any other match I’ve made. Would like to do it more but that was a rare prompt answer. Do I just look for flirty prompts?';

'My therapist asked me to think of a weekly activity or thing i can do that would help me meet more women.

Any ideas?';

'>>31108936
Church if that’s your style';

'>got 70 likes on Tinder
>a lot of them are whales/uggos
>when i get a match, usually the girls don't respond to asking out/jokes etc.
>only talked a bit with two but there was no chemistry whatsoever
is it over? also my Tinder pics suck dick, i don't know how to take pics of myself, hate my face and don't go out enough/do wacky shit where i can take cool artsy and interesting photos';

'>>31108936
part time job somewhere with a good ratio of female coworkers and customers?';

'>>31108947
>tinder';

'>My therapist asked me to think of a weekly activity or thing i can do that would help me meet more women.
Yoga class at the gym, you're doing it for flexibility/anxiety/whatever i don't know what bitches go to yoga for

>>31108947
>i don't know how to take pics of myself
you're supposed to have friends that do that';

'>>31108978
>you're supposed to have friends that do that
how do i ask them to do it? i do go out at concerts, museums, visit places etc.';

'>70 likes

lucky. i get 2 a week if im lucky, and its almost always bots because Tinder will tell me "Juliie liked you, swipe to find her" and its always some trivial misspelling of a common name - Marey, Weronica, Asklie, Serah';

'guys i matched with this malaysian girl but i feel like its a setup to a scam or something
>match
>she messages first
>she asked for my phone after like 2 messages on tinder
>she repeatedly ask if im single
>refers to me by my job title
>sends me pictures
>sends me audios
>sends me pictures of her parents
>ask me very sus work questions
>if i live alone or rent
is this what chads go through or is my gut instinct right? because a) im not a chat b) only been on dating apps for 2 weeks';

'>>31109121
>this malaysian girl
Malaysian in your country or in Malaysia? Is she Chinese or Muslim?';

'>>31109141
in my country, she looks chinese';

'>>31109144
Ask her to meet you, any normal girl that's interested will at least go along with the idea, scammers will always want to "get to know you" over text longer or have some bullshit reason they can't';

'I have no idea how to talk to women, how to appeal to them, how to flirt. I do not know what and how to say it. But I want children and a wife. I want descendants. What do?';

'>>31109153
>or have some bullshit reason they can't
she had to go back to london but she'll be back soon lmao';

'>>31109199
This is a lesson to always be a bit sus of any Chinese girls that aren't clearly local to your area. This is a common scam all over Asia as well.';

'>>31109322
yup, thought as much. cut off all contact';

'>>31108936
Think of activities you enjoy that can be done one public.
If you enjoy sportsball, you could watch the game at a bar instead of at home where you're more comfortable. You can read in a cafe.
These are terrible suggestions but I don't know what you do.

There's also taking a class, like a cooking class or anything like that';

'>>31109196
Looksmaxx, read books about being social, and put yourself in social situations. Talking to girls doesn’t have to be much different than talking to anyone else.';

'>be me
>have a first date on sunday
>go to a saturday night rave anyway
>wake up 12am sunday
>have a date at 14
>still hangover
>the girl brings me pickle brine with a fucking straw to cure my headache
>take her on a tour to a network of >100yo underground tunnels beneath our city
>had fun but later realize it's been pretty trashy, cold dirty etc
>she keeps texting me, says it was FUN
>we go on a second date tomorrow, fancy one this time
pic related, kindest thing a girl did for me on a first date

wish me luck bros, she's a double d';

'>>31109196
imho the key is making the girl do most of the talking
>you get to know her
>don't have to talk too much yourself
>make the impression of a good listener
>easy to carry by just asking more questions/joking/telling related facts and stories yourself
>>31109739
>Talking to girls doesn’t have to be much different than talking to anyone else.
anon is right - it's not unlike talking to men';

'>>31091261
How should I ask her out while she's working(she is waitress)? Phone number on paper with a simple verbal "would you like to grab some lunch or drinks after your shift" following some chitchat?

How do I not be a little bitch who waits for the mythical "perfect moment" to ask, inevitably never making my move?';

'>>31110397
I wish I had managed to do this.';

'>>31111486
ask her after you're done eating so if she says no you can just leave without it being awkward
don't leave a note with your number';

'When a woman from online dating is busy/forgets/cancels/is at the hospital with Grandma, do y'all make an attempt to reschedule or just straight up ignore them?';

'I'm not cutting my hair but I am genuinely curious about what women think of men with long hair.
And yes I'm sure that Chad can get away with anything so at least leave that answer out.';

'man I really suck at conversations on dating apps. Every time I talk to someone it feels like an interview and robotic. The person I'm currently talking to hasn't ghosted my yet so I guess that's a good sign, but how would I make the conversation more organic?';

'>>31111926
Talk to real people';

'>>31091261
If I want to just meet and talk to girls outside, do I just go to stores and stuff? I don't go anywhere except work or restaurants if I'm not shopping.';

'>>31112177
Coffee shops can help a bit
Granted the lack of third spaces in this day and age makes it much harder';

'Relationship and iPhone question for you guys or girls.

Ok so I don’t about read recipes being on or off. But the betrayal trauma in me thought this was a valid question: if your partner flip flops between this feature on and off; not a lot say 4 times in 8 months, how concerned would y’all be? Again I don’t give two poops how long it takes someone to respond. Just wondering in this day and age of cheaters if it’s a red flag.';

'>>31112177
Bars.
Microbreweries if you want to pretend you have class.';

'Are dating apps a complete L if I want a girl my height or taller? I'd look like a fool if I tried to add a few inches and then show up shorter than her lol';

'>>31112221
Why not just do it anyway? Grow some balls and just state that if you're not X height or taller, then swipe left';

'>>31112192
>>31112213
Thanks for the advice, guys. I need to start somewhere if I want find a girlfriend, after all.';

'>>31112213
>tfw the only bar at walking distance is filled with boomers and families
I'll give cityfags credit where credit is due, you fuckers have it easy with bars';

'>>31112231
I've been on and off on it for years. Nowadays I've been a little more active since now I've been able to work out more and I'm in a good path to heavily reducing my debt';

'>buy camera a while back
>go hiking at coastal trail near well known university
>combat boots, paint splattered blue jeans, flannel tied around my waist, short sleeve shirt with sleeve rolled up like tank top, firearm brand hat backwards for style
>actually just there to feel better after fighting with my mom and practice photography, didn't care about what I was wearing
>cute college girls smiling at me all day
What the fuck did I do? Am I just attractive? People do tell me I am, just not very often. I get called a superman clone, even on dates sometimes. I normally hike where there aren't many people, but I've never got this much in the way of absurdly direct choosing signals before. I was stunned, and of course didn't say a word to any of them, even the one that was alone who gave me the biggest smile and direct prolonged eye contact of them all (though I'm pretty sure she was there with her parents and looked like she was max a freshman in college so I'm justifying inaction by saying it could've been jailbait). Fucking idiot. Well at least I got a huge confidence boost. Parking is $20, but I might go back every fucking weekend.';

'>>31093444
by breaking up with her';

'>>31111926
take it off the app and make a date before chad does it first';

'>>31112221
Beanpole need luvin' too';

'>>31112454
thinking about this is blackpilling';

'How the fuck do I get rid of the "stink of desperation"?
31 y/o, just got out of an over 8 year long relationship. My ex already started fucking someone else a month after I moved out of our shared place and it's eating me alive.
The night life in my immediate town is shit, and I'm planning on moving to a different suburb of the nearby major city to get away from my ex so I don't want to get bogged down in some volunteer or social group. Not even gonna bother with dating apps, when I used tinder even back in the heydays I always matched with women far less attractive than I could rizz up IRL.
Cold approaching is pretty much it for me but it's like women can sense I'm fiending for the pussy. I swear a few years ago I had women throwing numbers at me left and right while I was still in a relationship, and I'm in better shape with better skin than I was now. What the fuck do I do?';

'>>31112736
Try to relax by doing things you enjoy, preferably publicly. People see you having a good time, you chat them up, make friends, and keep it snowballing. At least that's what I think, I've never had a gf, all I can get is sex but it's not very often. At the least, you were with someone for 8 years anon, while that wasn't the right person you know what to now look for so you don't find someone like her again. You were worth staying with for a long time because you have things to offer. It's not your fault she doesn't like you, be ok with being you and not being able to change people's perception of you. People change, you also were definitely not the same person 8 years ago and neither was she. Accept that you had good times, and look forward to the fact you can absolutely make a great lasting relationship with someone else in the future, because you did it already. Also, just because she is seeing someone else, doesn't mean she's not hurting. Hooking up is clearly bad for everyone, it shows lack of self esteem. Why would she give away her highest level of affection to a person she barely knows? Probably insecurity. She's a human who makes mistakes too, let her go and again, look forward to finding someone who can give you an even better relationship.';

'>>31109196
>>31110397
>imho the key is making the girl do most of the talking
That's hard if she's shy around you. You got to the most of the talking if you're attractive.';

'>>31111865
how long is it?';

'>>31111865
Not a woman, but I have long hair it's only one out of two body parts that a girl I wasn't dating has ever complimented me on.

If I had to guess, a lot of girls aren't into it, but the ones who are into it, are really into it. Like men with redheads.';

'>>31112785
>doing things you enjoy, preferably publicly
You want me to sleep in a public place?';

'>>31112785
What hurts the most is that she didn't even wait to see if I would change. I'm changing and trying harder than I ever had - I'm throwing myself into work, I've been porn and masturbation free for nearly two months now and I've been working out nearly every day. I've stopped smoking weed and I only drink in moderation on Fridays and Saturdays now. And I know these changes are sticking because I'm still doing them even though she's well and truly gone to me now.
We still have to see each other sometimes because there's stuff I'm still unwinding at our property (we agreed not to bring our new SOs around so I haven't seen her new BF). She won't even look at me, so she can't see how much weight I've lost from working out more and not binge drinking all the time. Maybe she doesn't want to even acknowledge I've changed.';

'Just here to confirm what Im thinking. (Negative thoughts but fuck it)
>match chick on hindge (25)
>go on date (just drinks and a walk in the artsy part of city) last friday
>goes well (seemed to anyway)
>set up second date
Issue: she takes literally hours to respond. Over the weekend it was tolerable because she was with senpai. Today I texted morning, no response so I double texted (cringe yes or yes?) Around 7pm and she responded about an hour later. Over the course of the last 3 hours shes responded consistently within 30~40 minutes. She said she had a busy day but its just lack of interest right? Already been an hour since she responded to my last text (I havent responded) so planning on just asking her tomorrow if she's just disintrested.
Only thing that held me back doing it today was I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt cause this is the first girl in the last 2 months of dating that i actually wanted a second date with but have had girls that would text constantly and fast respond esp once convo started going. So it's not an age thing right? Also just generally do you guys find that to be the case? (Slow response = no/little interest?) Just getting kind of back into dating so current sample size is small.';

'>>31113002
i'm not an expert, but maybe you should stop texting her so much, idk.
it just feels needy.';

'>>31113002
chill bro, you're scaring the hoes away';

'>>31113002
General advice for this sort of thing - once you've set up the next date don't worry about how long she's taking to respond. If she ghosts you on date #2 then you can go back and psychoanalyze but until then stop thinking about it. Put your mind at work doing something else. It could be partial differential equations or gooning to BBC porn but the less you think about it the better your date will go.';

'>>31113002
Honestly at this stage replies and texting altogether are unimportant, only kids text 24/7, just focus on spending a good amount time in person to see if you're a match and worry less about everything else';

'>>31113002
FAMILY* not senpai what the actual fuck???
>>31113014
Havent texted that much - more or less matching energy/rate, literally doing what ive been doing for the last couple of months with chicks and seemed perfectly fine then. Although
>>31113048
>>31113049
Might be right... I guess just still shaking off my habits from when I was in uni. Thanks guys for turning my thoughts around lol. Literally opposite of what I thought was going to be said.';

'>>31113090
>FAMILY* not senpai what the actual fuck???
newfag lol';

'>>31113101
If you abbreviate "family" like a nigger it will autocorrect to senpai. You also can't say "I am" in Spanish';

'>meet girl at friends birthday party
>chat her up, seems very interested
>go dancing
>end up making out
>get her number
>start texting her, she is responsive
>get massive hopium
>few days later ask her out
>ghosted

Why are women like this. Makes me feel like such a naiive looser retard.';

'>>31113229
Could be a billion reasons, I've been ghosted and I've ghosted people too just keep searching no point dooming after it';

'>>31091325
Why would they unless you're a genetic outlier. This is why men must make the first move, because they're all unremarkable to look at.';

'>>31091549
Maybe but not with you';

'>>31091453
She find another guy who was 0.00001% more attractive than you. Tough luck anon.';

'>>31091727
The same way you'd get any other woman. Japan and Korea where the hot women are, are the exact same as the west. It's not easier or different anywhere.';

'>>31092597
Let women shop in peace FFS. Women don't their time and energy.';

'>>31093259
Depends on your genetic quality';

'>>31094808
The last thing you want is an English speaking Asian gf. They are the most insufferable cunts ever. Just learn Japanese and find your trad yamato nadeshiko';

'>>31113455
But I've seen some seriously ugly dudes with beautiful gfs. And they're usually the skeeviest guys you can imagine. Explain plz';

'>>31101299
Honestly, that kind of culture is just modern day eugenics. There is nothing you can do if you don't have the genetic foundations for it.';

'>>31096114
Don't listen to this anon, that's the driest way to start a convo ever.';

'>>31100686
You should stop with the intel hobbies and do something normies do, like clubbing';

'>>31101630
Because these women are looking for a harmless beta provider, and you match the description.';

'>>31112698
Maybe but this is the good advice. Get her irl within 3 messages or she gets her guts rearranged by chad, and forgets you ever existed.';

'>>31113471
Betabuxing or you're lying on the internet.';

'>>31113611
Nah, quite the opposite. The guy was a jobless bum leeching off his beautiful gf. Dude was covered in tatts but he wasn't what you would consider a "Chad".';

'>>31113642
The second option then. Anyone can make shit up on this site.';

'>>31113703
Women have weird taste dude. They just don't generally fall for socially inept autists.';

'I've been talking to this girl on Instagram for 5 months now but I haven't talked to her in more than a month. We don't know each other in person and we live in different countries but I like talking to her. Yesterday I sent her a message because I finally saw a movie she recommended me along with 2 others she said were her favorite movies. So I sent her the message asking if she was interested in knowing what I thought of them but also asking why she liked those movies in particular. She saw the message at night, didn't answer, I thought "maybe she'll answer tomorrow". But today, I've noticed she's been a lot on Instagram through the morning yet she hasn't answered me anything. So, my question is: what the fuck is the problem? Two days ago she liked one of my stories, she's the one who even started talking to me 5 months ago cause she wanted to know who I was when I sent her the following request. Now she doesn't answer me for no reason and it's driving me mad. Am I being an impatient idiot? Should I just wait a few more days and then, message her again? What if she doesn't answer me at all? Should I ask if there's something wrong?';

'>>31113240
I get that but I dont get many chances like this so it really bums me out when shit like this happens';

'>>31112863
It's beginning to touch my shoulders';

'>>31113434
>>31091453

speak of the devil. she actualed messaged me last night for the first time in a week, basically saying "hey omg im sorry about that how are you??"
i agree, she likely had another date/fuck set up last weekend which is why she ignored me

Do i give this girl a chance, should I make her sweat a while?
she's nothing spectacular but a cute rowdy zoomer thats 10 years younger than me';

'>>31113778
>what the fuck is the problem?
you have a long-distance non-relationship and it only even exists in your mind, to her you were just like any other poster on here';

'I'm dating a girl and she told me that she loves me after only one month.
I feel kinda off about it, I'm scared she might have BPD because apparently they tend to love fast and hard and will lose interest & leave me out of the blue.';

'new
>>31114562
>>31114562
>>31114562';