String fullTitle = 'Tequila Sunrise: A Mexican Mecha Quest';
int postNumber = 5980052;
String image = '1713392931920066.png';
String date = '04/17/24(Wed)18:28:51';
String comment = 'The year is 2444. Much of mankind has abandoned a ruined Earth to live in space colonies. The countries on Earth have corresponding colonies just outside the planet's atmosphere. Rather than fight wars for political and social dominance, the colonies agree to hold a M.I.L.F Olympics every four years. Each country sends to Earth a representative, piloting a highly advanced Mechanized Infantry Land Frame, or M.I.L.F for short. Due to an oversight in the M.I.L.F Pilot recruitment program you have been recruited as Mexico's' only Pilot. With your 3rd generation mining M.I.L.F "Tequila Sunrise" you must defend your countries honor! First things first, what is your M.I.L.F best at?
>Speed!
>Strength!
>Mining?';
'>>5980052
>Mining.
We're career miners, starting at age 17 with an old RAPIST frame. Nobody knew what it stood for.
But we can mine, that's the point. The 'sunrise ain't strong or fast, but itcan clear rock faster than any other frame.';
'>>5980052
Mining, si.';
'>>5980052
>Mining?
Ours is so old that it's actually a G.I.L.F. (General Industry Loading Frame)';
'>>5980052
I can't read taco runes, but I understood what you meant to convey.
>Mining';
'You've always been a fast learner, when you first started your mining career with the old 3rd gen R.A.P.E - G.I.L.F you knew you'd found something special, Tequila isn't the fastest and she certainly can't dish out much but the ol' girl can take abuse like a Guatemalan street walker. She's been your ride for the past the two years and together you're going to make history. What's your name? And what drives you to succeed?';
'>>5980102
What's your name? Witch Queen Mazela
And what drives you to succeed? The smell of a blood sacrifice';
'>>5980102
Our name is Juan. Of course. We're a NeoMexican!
Wo want to succeed because, well, we're great miners but have nothing to show for it. No Spesos (space pesos), no recognition. We're only here because of an error. We want something to show for our skills.';
'Your name is Juan Mazela and you've got a point to prove. When you volunteered yourself and your Machine to the M.I.L.F Olympics they laughed, you were treated like an idiot for even daring to suggest that you could compete and the things they said about Tequila made your proud blood boil. You were going to make them eat their words and thirty tons of dirt too when you cut the ground out from under them. With your unbeatable mining technique and your die-hard determination you're going to show the colonies the power of the R.A.P.E - G.I.L.F! You have little time before your first opponent is chosen, you need to assemble yourself a pit-crew. Who do you want to join your team?';
'>>5980205
Who do you want to join your team?
Gilles Fedak and his tranny crew';
'>>5980205
Get our cousin Marco to join up. He's kinda weird and has a lazy eye, but I'll be damned if there's anybody who knows more about MILFS than him';
'Holographic AI replication of Poncho Villa, Leon "Trotsky" Bronstein's tortured soul trapped in a manual labor droid through technomancy (forcing him to actually be part of the proletariat), & Speedy Gonzalez' personality imprinted upon a genetically uplifted mouse hybrid via simulation flash-learning.';
'>>5980267
+1
Viva Neo Mexico!';
'>>5980230
Marco is a good shout, but I think he's in prison.
>>5980267
>>5980342
This is a patrotic choice - viva Neo Mexico.';
'Marco would be a great teammate, unfortunately he's still serving time for trying to steal dinosaur bones from a museum. You look across your workshop to see PAN-CH0, a worker bot with the personality of Poncho Villa sitting in the corner, he doesn't like to work but with enough convincing he's good at lifting. the only other 'companion' to speak of is Speed-E, a genetically uplifted mouse hybrid, he's fast and highly motivated, a real role model to you growing up. Thinking about Marcos ability to actually fix machinery he'd be very helpful, maybe you could get him out of prison. What about a sponsorship? Who could you get to fund your team?';
'>>5980714
We are sponsored by the local church and the orphanage they run who want to attract more donations.';
'>>5980714
Obviously we're sponsored by the miners labor union ( if we lose, they'll kick us out)';
'Dole Fruit Corporation (through a network of subsidiaries of course)';
'>>5980787
>>5980877
+1 to both. We can have multiple sponsors, right?
Those so-called pro" MILF pilots are absolutely covered in all sorts of sponsors, from Amazon-Boeing to Coca-Cola Corpse Reprocessing.';
'With your ties to mining and your troubled past you of course have ties to the local orphanage/labor union. The fact that these two establishments are already heavily linked helps massively with your sponsorship deals! It helps less so for the poor orphan miners. Sister Foreman Superior Catalina Cabrera seemed to remember you from your years spent in her care, she gladly accepts your offer of sponsoring you and your R.A.P.E G.I.L.F, she even offers you a few of the orphans to help in the pit crew. With your crew and sponsorship sorted you're well on your way to Mecha stardom, this fact supported by the official invitation to the opening ceremony you find waiting in your mailbox. The opening ceremony is in three days time, there's a lot that needs to be done to get you frame ready.';
'>>5982139
Do we have a checklist of what needs to be done?';
'>>5982139
what do? Drink a Chinese modelo in the meantime.';
'>>5982139
Put together a promotional video to get some fan support';
}