'>>41021063
Indeed so as she is truly worst pony';

'>>41021063
>>40932510';

'>>41021067
OP clearly said pony, not barbie abomination.';

'>>41021067
YWNBAJ';

'Jesus, is this like the third time her general has died in a month?';

'>>41021072
A joker? Jolly? Jamaican?';

'>>41021065
You’re thinking of rainbow dash';

'>>41021070
It's alive when ours died. We are failures.';

'>>41021063
>>41021099
>YWN keep Rarity company as she’s going through a depressive episode in the diner at 3am';

'>>41021099
>The softest, smoothest, most pettable creature in all creation
>born into a world without hands..';

'undefined';

'>>41021099
>>41021173
>One day Rarity woke up and realized she was the softest, smoothest, most pettable creature in all of Equestria.
>It just clicked into her head that morning, as obvious as her impeccable fashion sense:
>She was the pinnacle of pettability.
>"Sweet Celestia, I'm simply sublime to touch!"
>She ran a hoof over her coat to confirm this delightful epiphany. Oh my, yes. Luxuriously silky. Velvety-soft beyond belief. Fluff so fine, it was practically criminal.
>And yet, something still wasn't quite right…
>Rarity stroked her flanks. Marvelous, sleek flanks - smoother than polished marble, softer than clouds. Sheer pony heaven in physical form.
>But alas, something was missing. What could it possibly be? She couldn't put her hoof on it…
>"HOOVES!" realization crashed over her like a wave, "That's precisely it!"
>Round clumpy keratin nubbins. Ill-shaped for pleasuring the pettable. Yes, hooves were the issue, hoof and center.
>"My sleekness requires - nay, DEMANDS - something more!" she cried to her mannequins, "Nimble digits, strong yet gentle! Sensuous but soothing!"
>In that moment, her new mission in life crystallized clearly, like the most flawless diamond:
>To find the perfect appendage for petting pony perfection!';

'>>41021391';

'>>41021067';

'>>41021391
>Rarity starts Lyra.maxxing,jpg';

'Absolutely love this photo of her.';

'>>41021391
excellent raraspeak';

'>>41021655
Thanks, I don't know where this train wreck is headed, but hopefully the destination is somewhere.';

'1/9';

'2/9';

'>>41021750
Fuck forgot image';

'3/9';

'>>41021759
Fucking shit ain't uploading the damn comic';

'>>41021750
>>41021759
>That's twice now darling.
>That is TWO TIMES you have fucked up posting in my fabulous thread!';

'4/9';

'5/9';

'6/9';

'7/9';

'8/9';

'9/9';

'>>41021782
>human applejack out of fucking nowhere';

'>>41021765
There I posted the rest of the comic without issue, please don't leave me over such an inconsequential this please darling.';

'>>41021787
>Human Applejack
Anon...';

'>>41021795
>Meegan
Okay why is she dressed like Applejack tho?';

'>>41021763
>>41021765
I've had an issue about selecting an image and then having to do it again. Not sure if the issue is 4chan or phonefagging.';

'>>41022006
100% spoiler. I got these from Instagram.';

'Page 8 bump!';

'>10';

'God I hate Rarity';

'>>41022822
same';

'God I love Rarity';

'>>41022833
same';

'I'll post a cute little Spike and Rarity (not Sparity) story here when it's done. I may be able to finish today.';

'>>41022822
>>41022833
me too';

'Bump';

'undefined';

'>>41021067
>EQG Rarity thread outlasts pony Rarity thread
Based';

'Yes Rarity thread!';

'>>41021063
>that season 9 episode where they print their Friendship journal and everyone hates Rarity because they read her POV';

'https://files.catbox.moe/jnv3lb.jpg';

'I really want to fuck this pony.';

'>>41023351
I bet those socks smell amazing';

'>tfw i will never be rarity's loser unemployed freeloading bf whom she's inexplicably passionate about';

'>>41021391
I do this every morning with my balls';

'>>41021082
Rarifags do NOT care about their waifu';

'>>41023400
It's been interestingly revealing to see whose fans have moved on and whose have stayed.';

'I need pic related';

'>>41021391
Rarity goes into a depressive cycle and creates a finger based fashion line';

'>>41021787
He doesn't know...';

'>>41023361
>inexplicably
It's the cock size';

'>>41023836
or maybe he has the same douchey attitude as the guy who pump & dumped at the peak of her attractiveness in high school and her weakness to that only increases with age';

'>>41023492
I'd ask her if she wanted a hoof rub';

'>>41024184';

'>>41021391
>"…And that, Twilight, is why I desperately need your help to find some… some… well, some non-hoof-thingies!" Rarity finished, ever the graceful speaker.
>To her credit as a friend, Twilight did not immediately teleport away; instead, she took a deep, calming breath.
>"So. You woke up convinced--"
>"I Realized!"
>"--Right. realized you're the, quote, 'pinnacle of pettability'--"
>"And the softest, smoothest-"
>"--Yes yes, all that too. But now you've also concluded--"
>"Deduced, darling."
>"…Deduced that hooves are inadequate to fully appreciate your…pettiness."
>"Pett-ability!"
>The urge to facehoof was strong. But Twilight needed both hooves to massage her temples. A grade-A Rarity migraine was brewing faster than Zecora's best potions.
>Those pleading sapphire puppy-dog eyes, however, were a force even the Princess of Friendship couldn't refuse. And it did sound like an intriguing research challenge…
>"Well… I suppose Spike's claws are more dexterous than hooves?" she offered. "He could probably give good pets?"
>The little dragon perked up from his comic book--
>"Far too sharp and scaly, I'm afraid."
>--And promptly retreated back to its pages, another dream cruelly dashed.
>"Of course," Twilight deadpanned. With a sigh, she levitated over some anatomy and zoology tomes. "Well, claws and talons are out. Too scratchy. Fins and flippers lack fine motor skills…"
>"Ugh, I'd smell like a fish market!"
>"Quite. Tentacles seem versatile but, um… the implications are unfortunate."
>"Scandalous!"
>"The only appendages that really fit your criteria are hands. Or maybe paws? A minotaur, perhaps?"
>"After that brute who terrorized poor Fluttershy?! Absolutely not!"
>"Diamond Dogs?"
>If looks could kill, Twilight would be six feet under.
>"Right. Forget I mentioned that."
>They brainstormed fruitlessly for another hour, by which point Twilight's migraine had fully blossomed. Finally, she slammed a book shut with an exasperated groan.
>"I'm sorry, Rarity, but there just isn't any creature in Equestria that has what you're looking for!"
>Rarity's ears drooped, her bottom lip trembling. "So my divine coat is destined to forever go un-petted and under-appreciated?"
>Guilt squirmed in Twilight's gut. She may have snapped a bit too harshly…
>"I'm afraid so. Unless…" Oh no. Quick, change the subject before--
>"UNLESS WHAT, DARLING?!"';

'>Page 9';

'undefined';

'>>41024515
bump for moar';

'undefined';

'>>41021099
>>41023227
We have TWO threads now.';

'undefined';

'Bump';

'>>41023566
Fatfags >>>/out/';

'>>41026495
I'd like to see you try to move me';

'>>41024515
UNLESS WHAT ANON?!?!';

'move here >>41025350';

'>>41026704
Why?';

'>>41024515
>>41025384
>>41026647
>"UNLESS WHAT, DARLING?!"
>Rarity's face was inches from Twilight's. Jasmine perfume collided against eau de manic desperation.
>"…Unless we consider old mare's tales?" Twilight squeaked out.
>Those icy baby blues didn't blink. They demanded.
>"It's about Lyra Heartstrings - you know, my old study buddy? Brilliant mind. Also completely bonkers. Got fixated on these mythical bipeds called, uh, humans."
>"Hoo-mans?" She tasted the exotic syllables like a fine Prench delicacy. "Tell. Me. Everything! Spare not a single scandalous detail!"
>Gossip-lust flared in those mascara'd eyes. Twilight knew that look. She'd seen timberwolves with more mercy.
>"Supposedly, they're tall gangly creatures. Only grow fur on their heads. And," she dropped to a scandalized whisper. "They wear clothes! All the time!"
>"No fur?! How deliciously risqué! Ohh, the fashion possibilities…"
>"Yes, yes, I'm sure you're already designing a fall line for them," sighed the princess-turned-cultural-cryptozoologist. "But here's the thing - according to Lyra, humans were obsessed. With petting. Cute. Fuzzy. Things."
>If Rarity's eyes were saucers before, they were Hoity Toity hors d'oeuvres trays now. "Do go on…"
>"Well! Even though they were mostly hairless themselves, they couldn't resist pampering and spoiling fluffy creatures. They had very dexterous, soft, naked hands - perfect for petting. And, um, scritching."
>They were nose to powdered nose now. Any closer and they'd need a private room.
>"And get this," Twilight babbled, unnerved by the unblinking intensity. "They had incredible magic! Could go to the moon." A pause. "Without being banished, I mean! They could share thoughts instantly across continents, conjure portraits--"
>A delicate hoof booped her muzzle (Soft but not RARITY-soft). "Yes yes, all beyond fascinating I'm sure, dear! But what was that about scritches?"
>"But!" Quick, a dose of reality. The cold hoof of rationality. "But it's just an old pony's tale! A myth! A legend! Absolutely no concrete evidence humans ever existed--"
>"Pish posh! I have full confidence that if anypony can unravel this delectable mystery, it's you, Twilight! Equestria's cleverest scholar! And her glamorous, oh-so-plush sidekick. Now, where do we start?"
>"WE?!"
>Deep, cleansing breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Do not explode.
>"Okay, you know what? FINE." She threw her hooves in the air. "We can go hear Lyra spin her little human tales, since you insist. After that, I'm sure you'll see there's no such thing!"
>"Marvelous! I shall fetch my adventure hat!"
>"But there won't BE any adv--"
>All that remained of Rarity was a dissipating cloud of pampered pony perfume.
>Twilight slumped. The Plot thickened.
>So much swaying, retreating Plot.';

'>>41026704
I'll stay here. That one will be in the archive in about a week';

'>>41026831
>some lucky bastard is going to get to pet all this mare
Damn.';

'>>41022869
Here's that:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/556112/ponies-dont-lay-eggs

It's an E-rated story, but this is the best title that occurred to me. This is the first time I've seriously written Rarity, so I'd love to get your thoughts on my portrayal of her.

I don't recall posting in these threads but once or twice before. I hate to post without anything to contribute. Maybe I'll be more of a regular from here on out.';

'>>41025609
And both will die before the EQG thread.';

'undefined';

'>>41027108
So?';

'Bump, darling.';

'>>41027041';

'Throwing rocks at Rarity';

'>>41028656
Based.';

'>>41028656
No!';

'>>41029165
Cute!';

'>>41028656
Freeze frame of the face she makes when she gets hit!';

'>>41029416';

'>>41029826
Keke saved';

'undefined';

'Lovely mare';

'>>41030593
>when the artist is more concerned with his ego than his art';

'Post her farting.';

'undefined';

'>>41029826
>when you show up to your date wearing crimes against fashion';

'undefined';

'>>41026831
>"--and they absolutely LOVED earscratchies! And snoot boops! Nothing was too sacred!"
>Lyra and Rarity huddled together, blushing and giggling like schoolfillies who'd discovered their big sister's playcolt magazines.
>"But that's not even the juiciest bit! Rumor has it, humans couldn't get enough of…wait for iiiiit…" Lyra paused for maximum dramatic effect. "BELLY RUBS!"
>"NO! You don't say!"
>"I do! I do say! And I'll say it again - BELLY RUBS!"
>Rarity squealed and swooned, hind legs twitching helplessly at the mere thought of such pampering decadence. "Ooh darling, talk sensual to me!"
>Aaand that was enough of that, Twilight decided. Time to be the Responsible Adult.
>"There's NO. SUCH. THING!" Each word was punctuated by a firm, authoritative hoof-stomp. "No archaeological evidence, no cultural records, no primary sources at all! Humans are NOT REAL!"
>"Yes, they are!"
>"Nuh-uh!"
>"Yuh-huh!"
>"Nuh-infinitely-uh!"
>"Yuh-huh times infinity plus one!"
>The dignified princess opened her mouth for an incredibly mature "Nuh-uh times alicorn-infinity-squared"… before realizing what she was doing. A long, slow inhale, a slow, steady exhale, and some Zen flute music in her head.
>"Look," she said, with strained evenness, "I am open to being proven wrong. But I need decisive, concrete evidence. Physical proof. No hearsay or fairy tales."
>"Oh, you want proof?" Lyra grinned, oozing self-satisfaction. "I have ancient cave drawings of humans! Genuine reproductions, straight from the forbidden Lostclops Caves!"
>Twilight arched a skeptical eyebrow. "And where, pray tell, did you obtain these alleged drawings?"
>"Celestia's private secret library! Y'know, the forbidden one. My marefr-- I MEAN! An anonymous friend! Who totally isn't a secret agent! Hooked me up!"
>Subtle.
>"Riiight. Look, I've BEEN in the Forbidden Library!" (At this, Rarity shot Twilight A Look. A Look that promised much gossip would be had later.) "The books there are…not of this nature!"
>"But WHAT nature are they, darling?" Oh no. That sly, coy tone. The Gossip Gods demanded tribute.
>"That's not--! I mean--it's not what--ugh, it's not the POINT!" Red-faced, the alicorn rallied the remains of her dignity. "The point is, I didn't see any cave paintings!"
>"Oh, Twilight! My sweet summer filly!" Lyra tsk-tsked, as if to a dumb foal - which, in fairness, Twilight was starting to feel like. "The OTHER forbidden library. The forbidden-EST. A place of shadows…mystery…and hands."';

'>>41031340
Not the ideal point for stopping, but I don't want to make them too long. Hope it stays entertaining. That's the first time I write a green.';

'>>41031340
>Twilight didn't simply say "Nuh-uh times alicorn-infinity-squared" and win the argument
she's ngmi bros

This green fucking rocks. Keep going.';

'undefined';

'>>41021063
>>41025350';

'>>41031877
2 times the rarara';

'undefined';

'>>41032721
Rarity flying on a boeing plane';

'>>41032721
Is that a Twilight Zone reference?';

'undefined';

'Rarity is shit';

'undefined';

'>>41033113
>Rarity is the shit
I fixed your typo
You're welcome!';

'>>41023566
Awful taste, must be brown';

'>See me after class Anon~';

'Sex with Rarity.';

'>>41033649
Unf';

'>>41034147
Seconding this';

'undefined';

'>>41021085
Jew?';

'>>41021624
She is long.';

'>>41036301
>ywn hold Rarity to see how long she is';

'rarity fisting';

'>>41036505
Perfect fisting height.';

'undefined';

'rarararararara';

'Some alcohol induced drararaws';

'>>41038259
DANG this is some good stuff';

'>>41038259
Drawings in the current year? It's an artist miracle.

Nice shading by the way. Based and Mark Kistler-pilled.';

'>>41036821
I-I can't reach';

'>>41037965
Ra';

'>>41038259
Perfect rararas <3 Advice for faggo who wants to draw but hasny put serious efforr into art in a decade? I want my art to be like this';

'>>41039590
Go and draw. You have whole /bale/ thread with guides and tips and advisers for that.
Or, if you want to go full serious, start this https://drawabox.com/

But that anons level is not that high, to be completely honest, though, i adore the shading.';

'Rarity makes my penis into the big penis';

'>>41040488
I want to pamper those hooves';

'undefined';

'>>41040426
>But that anons level is not that high
Oh how you hurt me so :'( i get it though, theres a lot i can still learn ';

'>>41040538';

'>10';

'>>41031340
>"Behold!" Lyra declared as a first scroll unfurled with a dramatic snap.
>And behold they did, gaping at an image that could only be described as obscenely…handy.

https://files.catbox.moe/a075u3.jpg

>Five long, slender digits sprouted from a fleshy palm, each one a delicate dactyllic promise.
>Rarity's pupils dilated into throbbing hearts. "Such sleek little darlings!" she cooed. "Ooh, I can practically feel their phantom caress upon my--"
>"Fingers," Twilight deadpanned. "They're called fingers."
>In truth, her scholastic sensibilities were offended by the crude rendering. Had this ancient artist never heard of proper shading?
>She leaned close and squinted, as if trying to intimidate charcoal into confessing its secrets.
>"While this could potentially be authentic, plenty of creatures have fingers. Like minotaurs…"
>"Who have precisely FOUR per hand!" Lyra interjected smugly. "These are a five-star petting machine!"
>"Irrelevant. It could be artistic license. Or a random mutation…"
>FWAP!
>The second scroll unfurled.

https://files.catbox.moe/7hcnxe.png

>A pony, splayed in wanton ecstasy. Fingers (FIVE of them), buried deep in plush belly fluff.
>Rarity emitted a wet, euphoric squeak. If anypony could discern fifty shades of grey in monochrome cave art, it was her.
>"Such bold strokes! Are they…dare I ask…?" she sputtered, fanning herself with the crumpled, sweaty shreds of her modesty.
>"Hitting the tum-tum G-spot? Yep!"
>Twilight, however, was having none of it. Her rump hit the floor with the authoritative THUMP of a true skeptic.
>"I swear, if you commissioned cave smut for a fetish shrine, I WILL send you back to magic kindergarten!"
>"How DARE you besmirch GENUINE History!"
>"More like His-TORRID-y!"
>"Oh, you want torrid? I'll GIVE you torrid!"
>FOOMPH!
>The final scroll spoke of a perversion so profound, so luridly lewd, that Lyra's hooves shook as she unveiled it.
>Twilight shrieked. Equinity's darkest taboo stared back, hewn in stone.

https://files.catbox.moe/9cjoed.png

>A hoof-hold in all its obscene glory!
>Ponies would speak in whispers of this day for generations - the day a princess gazed upon the Forbidden Frot.
>"LYRA HEARTSTRINGS! WHAT THE ACTUAL HAY?!" Her Royal Voice rattled the windows. Smoke billowed from her snoot.
>But Rarity knew - neigh, FELT - a higher calling.
>"I must find these humans! Their fingers shall be the key to unlocking my true pettential!"';

'>>41042621
I'm invested!';

'>>41042621
This is great. The wordplay was especially fun. That last pun is simply awful in the best way.
I think the three characters here all fit a neat role in the green, and I'm especially fond of Twilight the skeptic.
i'm gonna be greedy and say that i'd love to see Fluttershy get involved somehow too; but either way i'm in this one for the long haul';

'>>41042690
>>41042705
Thanks for the feedback, anons. I want to say it won't be long before I'm done, but that conversation with Lyra was supposed to be just one post, so... yeah.
What I can promise is that I will finish it.';

'>>41021063
Its because she sucks ass';

'>>41042922
is secretly a rarifag';

'>>41042922
I want to have my ass sucked by Rarity.';

'>>41031340
>playcolt
Playfilly, surely? I mean, Lyra was probably interested in sexy mares from a young age, but that's not the standard image.';

'>>41027074
>three paragraphs in
How may more times is the current or projected future temperature of this pie going to be mentioned, with or without discussion of the relative capacity of dragons and ponies to handle hot objects?';

'What would Rarity think of my Hawaiian shirt collection?';

'>>41043726

Anon...well...darling...these are, umm, how can I put this delicately...mmm....yes...the sort of thing my father would have worn in his heyday...';

'>>41043572
Yeah, someone else said it was a little weak until she comes into the story too, but I don't think I did a horrible job on the first three paragraphs. It was meant to emphasize his different nature.

Did you enjoy the story?';

'>>41043879
I've only got up to the bit where she takes the pie with her magic. Was hoping for a mention of how the use of possible magic fields makes moving hot objects easier.
It's fine; I'm just being dumb.';

'undefined';

'>Spike exhaled a little at knowing the pie hadn’t been too cold already.
I feel Spike here. I was very anxious about this also.';

'That was nice. Sweebs's characterisation was a lot of fun.';

'>>41044228
Thanks; I'm glad you enjoyed it.';

'undefined';

'>>41044138
Goddess indeed. I love seeing in roles of wealth/status/power.';

'>>41042621
>they found the hands
>but not the ones they hoped for';

'>>41044915
Which direction would Rarity choose? Up or down?';

'undefined';

'>>41045567
But why is horse sexy, Lauren?
Horse wasn't sexy before.
Why horse sexy?';

'Happy!';

'>>41045627
>Horse wasn't sexy before
Fashion horse is very sexy, I'll be the first to agree, but horse has indeed been sexy before. The amount of licking and kissing in G1 was insane.';

'>>41046113
Lickissing, you mean. They never really kissed with the lips. Shit man, they probably licked each other's pussies to get a good whiff of each other's scents, since horses have that special pheromone sniffer under the top lip.';

'>>41046113
its sweet stuff and posey for me';

'>>41021063
Sah dude
Limit
why do Rarity be lookin' like she's waiting for the AIDs test results here though';

'>>41046664
I-
AIDS*
I meant AIDS.';

'Rarity is my waifu next to Maud though
Rarity is good horse';

'>>41046803';

'bumping for rara green
>>41033649
schoolmarm rarity is my favorite outfit';

'undefined';

'undefined';

'>>41040426
I don't care about reaching the highest level. That's always such a retarded goal to me. You can create quality art at any level, his looked ideal and anything past it is too much';

'>>41043519
>Playfully, surely?
It does make a lot more sense indeed.
>>41047407
I couldn't work on it today, I'm not sure about tomorrow either, but I will do my best.';

'hi
please forgibe me rarafrends';

'>>41048263
forgive for whar?';

'>>41021063
Made for dragon cock';

'>>41049235
She's got prime-grade shota throwing himself at her and just brushes him off.';

'>>41049280
because she fears to get jailed, she will just wait till he grows older.';

'undefined';

'>wet mane';

'I do love drawing Her!';

'I love the idea that for all her love of fashion, Rarity herself is a nudist at heart.';

'>10';